Scott Steiner
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Undoubtedly one of the unintentional finest philosophers in history. A historic role model, painting the ideal image for youth idolisation.”
~ Stupid Aristotle on Steiner's microphone skills
“MOTHER^&$%#@( STUPID-ASS b^&*($%&$#:<&# ARTICLE!”
~ Scott Steiner
“I wish I could look like him ... I follow his workout regime to the last letter but for some reason I'm not half as butch as him ... and I just think WHY?”
~ Stupid Peewee Herman on wondering how Scott does it
“HEH!?”
~ Scott Steiner on Scott Steiner
“Gimme a fuckin mic”
~ Scott Steiner on his WWE debut
“I'm hungry!”
~ Scott Steiner on food
“Fuck him. He's an ass. Go touch his dick!”
~ Tourettes Guy on Scott Stiener
[edit] Birth & Early Youth
Scott Steiner was born on the Twelfth Night as Scottington Stein Shakespeare to a prosperous family in North Hampshire, England in 1956. He WAS in fact a descendant of England's most famous magician William Shakespeare and also considered the highest form of the "homo-saphian species." However, Scottington was not a son of positive social significance as far as his family was concerned. Born at a time of much speculation and superstition in ye olde England, Scott was the seventh son of the seventh son in the Shakespeare family, and according to European legend this meant that he was destined to become a werewolf on his thirteenth birthday and hence remain that way for eternity. This was unacceptable in Britain and most neighbouring European countries at this time, and the methods of dealing with the problem were either by beheading the child instantly, or by simply drowning said child. The Shakespeare's were a compassionate bunch however and could not bring themselves to take the life of their son. Instead, they sought another solution. They took Scottington to Sherwood Forest so that he may be raised by wolves, and prepare for his thirteenth birthday. Of course they found out the hard way after four months of searching that British wolves are extinct and instead left their offspring to be raised by a pack of Dog Faced Gremlins. It was with this pack that Scott befriended his "brother" Rick and the two would later become wrestling tag team champions.
It did turn out on his thirteenth birthday that he was not in fact a werewolf...but he was changing. Scott, seemingly overnight became a walking muscle, sporting twenty seven inch biceps and a chest you could get lost in. Scott has constantly claimed that he firmly believes he may have been poisoned woth some sort of potion, some sort of drug filled potion by his family before they left him in the forest. Other people have since displayed the same transformation as Scott as a result of taking a magical potion known as steroids
Recently, Steiner has been dating a large amazon woman named Awesome Kong. It has also been confirmed that, before she was dating Steiner, she was normal sized. After 3 weeks with Steiner, she became 7 feet tall and very muscular. She has confirmed that they did have sex within those 3 weeks. Figure it out.
[edit] Proof Of Being Descendant Of William Shakespeare
Many have questioned whether Scott is the descendant of William Shakespeare, well ... watch and listen carefully to the many illustrious quotes from Scott:
