Scott Hall

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(Past, Present & No Future)
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==Past, Present & No Future==
 
==Past, Present & No Future==
 
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Hall was born sometime around 1958 in Florida, and was then stolen by a group of [[Jehovah witness protection program|Mexican Jehovah witnesses]] when Hall was only 3 days old. He was abducted from his natural parents, and taken in by The Jehovah Witnesses, who stole Hall as bait for any dog's or viscous animals that might be loose when they went knocking door-to-door to ram there way of life down peoples neck. He became useless to the Jehovah Witness clan when he learned to walk and could escape the baby carriage they pushed him around in, to leave for any attacking animal to feast on if trouble ever reared it's ugly head. He was then sent back to his original parents at the age of 4. This is believed to be the reason why Hall sometimes doesn't speak in his American Accent, and switches to a hard to understand Spanish one.
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Hall was born sometime around 1958 in Florida, and was then stolen by a group of [[Jehovah witness protection program|Mexican Jehovah witnesses]] when Hall was only 3 days old. He was abducted from his natural parents, and taken in by The Jehovah Witnesses, who stole Hall as bait for any dogs or viscous animals that might be loose when they went knocking door-to-door to ram their way of life down people's neck. He became useless to the Jehovah Witness clan when he learned to walk and could escape the baby carriage they pushed him around in, to leave for any attacking animal to feast on if trouble ever reared its ugly head. He was then sent back to his original parents at the age of 4. This is believed to be the reason why Hall sometimes doesn't speak in his American Accent, and switches to a hard to understand Spanish one.
   
 
==Wrestling==
 
==Wrestling==

Revision as of 04:55, September 23, 2012

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Last hall

Hall..well looking the way he does everyday.


“Hey Chico, yew err look-e-ing, at de bad speaker of Eng-a-lish”
~ Razor Ramon on drugs during his first few years of wrestling when he thought he was an illegal immigrant
“Hey, YO. ”
~ Hall Calling Yoko Ono to ask her if she wanted to join the nWo
“Hey bro, are you really Andre the Giant's son?”
~ Hall on confronting a giant turd he just puked up in the ring
“Say, "Hello" to my little friend”
~ Ramon introducing his penis to a chick using his favorite pick-up line



Scott "Razor Ramon"/"Da Bad English Speaker" Hall, MD is a mediocre semi-famous[1] professional wrestler & world famous doctor of gynecology. His gyno specialty is in the field of douche-baggery, where is one of the worlds leading experts of the practice.

Past, Present & No Future

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Scott Hall.

Hall was born sometime around 1958 in Florida, and was then stolen by a group of Mexican Jehovah witnesses when Hall was only 3 days old. He was abducted from his natural parents, and taken in by The Jehovah Witnesses, who stole Hall as bait for any dogs or viscous animals that might be loose when they went knocking door-to-door to ram their way of life down people's neck. He became useless to the Jehovah Witness clan when he learned to walk and could escape the baby carriage they pushed him around in, to leave for any attacking animal to feast on if trouble ever reared its ugly head. He was then sent back to his original parents at the age of 4. This is believed to be the reason why Hall sometimes doesn't speak in his American Accent, and switches to a hard to understand Spanish one.

Wrestling

ScottHallRamon

Hall so drunk he drove his invisible car and crashed it into the set of Jerry Springer while driving his kids to school

Razor Ramon

Before achieving his dream of becoming a gynecologist, Hall gained mediocre fame in the wrestling world under the name Razor Ramon, and later helped form the grounds for what became known as the religion of nWo, which basically consisted of a religion dedicated to legalizing steroids in the name of the holy godfather himself, and messiah to the nWo, Hulk Hogan. No one really knows how Hall got started as a wrestler, as no one had ever cared enough to ask him. No one even acknowledged Hall's existence as a wrestler until 1994 when Shawn Micheal's made his ass famous at Wrestlefakia X in the first ever WWF 'Ladder Up Your Ass' match.

Known as Razor Ramon at that time in the WWF, Hall was parading around as a colorfully colored gay cowboy, with a tooth pick in his mouth. It was never understood the reason behind the toothpick thing, but it's believed that Hall had an oral fixation, and just loved having wood in his mouth. Hall started to become a recognized wrestler in the WWF after Shawn Micheal's amazing ability to make Razor Ramon look like a half decent wrestler in the historical and influential first ever[2] 'Ladder In The Ass Match' - Shawn & Razor had a backstage love affair, along with 3 other wrestlers, The "1-2 maybe 3 Inch Penis Kid", "Little Mommy Lame"[3] & Happy Hungry Hippo, Nipple-H - The group of them called themselves "The Clit" because whenever they rubbed each other, they became very stimulated by it.

However soon enough Razor Ramon and Kevin Nash would have to leave the WWF for the WCW because they had turned the legal age of 10, and where sent off to wrestle for the company where the big boy's played.

Not Razor Ramon

Hall1

Hall so intoxicated he thought his match was against an invisible toilet

NWoHalls

“The nWo would like to officially welcome it's newest members, Halls Balls... now watch me spraypaint "nWo 4 Life" on them, Brotha!”
~ Hollywood Hogan

ScottsHall

What Scot Hall may look like today

Hall & Nash appeared together on WCW television announcing they where there to take over. In which they did, they started taking over the position of how to lose ratings from president of the company, Eric Pissoff. They where now in charge, and where on screen for a few weeks announcing they where going to start taking everything over, from all the wrestlers bookings, to all the wrestlers asses. And Hall & Nash certainly did play 2 of the biggest parts of fucking WCW in the ass when it collapsed just a few years later. However this could not be achieved with out the help of some of the biggest ass fucks the world has ever seen, and they realized that now member of the WCW, Hulk Hogan, was more of an ass fuck then they could ever be, that they followed his guidance as part of the ass fucking religion of the NWO.[4]

The NWO started to become very popular, and soon people where behind the NWO wanting to fuck asses with them. The NWO started a huge rivalry between other WCW wrestlers such as Stink, Dick Shair, The Shitman Bret Fart, The Andre The Giant Wanna-be & Richard Simmons - But it was a new comer to the WCW that sparked the biggest rivalry, a woman who was a WWF's Steve Austin rip-off, only black, Whoopi Goldberg - Goldberg became a huge name over night, parading as a nun and having a really kick-ass entrance where she and 12 other nun's would sing rock n roll classics with words changed to praise her religious god, Lemmy of Motorhead. The conflict between the religion of Lemmy and Hulk Hogans nWo belief in the gods of steroids, instantly became a huge rivalry. Hall was the first of the nWo to take on Goldberg, but he was defeated with a Jackasser within seconds.

The nWo was having trouble defeating Goldberg, and Hogan would lose the title to her. This caused controversy in the nWo and Hogan insisted that all members of the nWo needed to say there prayers, work hard, and eat a shit-load more steroids. This however was not what Hall and Nash thought it should be, as they wanted to just try getting drunk and seeing where it went from there. Eventually this lead to the nWo splitting into two rival factions. Hogan lead the original black & White NWO, while Hall & Nash started up the red faction, which they named the nWo Fudge Packers.

Within the next show, both sides of the nWo had recruited 50,000 new wrestlers to be on there side. This led to Hall & Nash being so drunk, they did not even know who they where recruiting any more, and said to hell with it, and would spend most of there time in bars or getting drunk on airplanes where they would have sex with as many airline stewardess as they could. This started up there new faction, the NWO Mile High Club.

Over the next two years, the nWo eventually collapsed as there was only 4 WCW wrestlers left that had not joined the NWO, and two of those where in coma's anyway. So the NWO empire crumbled and WCW returned to the way it was before the NWO invasion. But ratings where really declining over the next few years, so a gamble was made to bring back the NWO and see if it could boost ratings. Hall, Nash and Hogan returned as the NWO, together again. And that night the show had a ratings boost of .1 - It looked good at the time, but then Hall announced again that they where going to start recruiting more members for the NWO, and everyone just switched off there TV's, saying, "Not this shit again" and the NWO crumbled again, and WCW went out of business the following day.

Scott Hall? Oh, wasn't he Razor Ramon?

After the drunken duo of Hall and Nash found themselves without a job, the only chance they had to return to wrestling would be to go and suck up to ole Vince McMahon & beg for there old jobs back. They pleaded with Vince to let them come back, and Vince agreed he would let them return on one condition. Hall was the one who performed the act of fellatio, but Vince was not pleased that Hall didn't swallow, and he told them he would notify them if he changed his mind.

His mind would change when Dick Shair stole the, now WWE, from Vince. Vince decided if Dick wouldn't give his company back to him, he would destroy it. Dick did not listen to reason, and Vince was on the phone right away to Hall, Nash & Hogan to bring the NWO to the WWE. The NWO appeared on WWE TV the next night, and Dick knew that if the NWO started recruiting people again, that ratings would drop, people wouldn't watch anymore, and the WWE would lose it's stock value. Rick tried to not cave in, but before you know it The NWO was recruiting everyone in site, and stocks in the company where worth -$49,000 - Dick Shair made a deal with Vince that if he paid the debt Dick owed now, that Vince could have the company back. So Vince now owned the WWE again, fired the NWO and ratings went back to normal, leaving Hall without a job.

Signature Moves

  • Razors Wedgie / Outsiders Goatsie; Hall would lock his opponents head in between his thighs and wring his sweaty ball sack juice down his opponents neck leaving them immobilized, he would then proceed to hold two razor blades in each hand that he was holding extended outside, then proceed to cut them a new asshole.
  • Rug Shake: This move was voted one of the most awesome moves of all time, Hall would grab his laying opponent by their feet and pick them up and shake-slam them back to the canvas 4 times saying the words, "No body...messes...with...the bad guy", this move probably would have elevated Halls career to give him somewhat an impression he could really wrestle, but Hall was never seen outside of the Mortal Kombat video game, "Wrestlefakia: The Arcade" [1995] executing this move.
  • Big Boot: This move was why Hulk Hogan thought Ramon had some sort of talent, and saw some of himself in this boring old boot held up to the face.
  • Elbow Drop: You know a wrestler must have been pretty pathetic when you have to name a simple elbow drop as part of their arsenal wrestling skills.
  • The Outsiders Assistance:' When Hall and Nash would find air-line stewardess' that where DX fans instead of nWo fans, the allegations of assault and rape called for Hall to phone his lawyer to bail their drunken asses out of custody. Seeing as how this move was performed over a thousand times between 1998 and 2003, it was officially recognized as a Hall tactic and signature move.
  • Choke Slam: Hall would choke during each slam he gave an opponent, this was probably because he was always intoxicated when he wrestled.

Life After Wrestling

Hall graduated from the medical university of YMCA in 2007. Hall has since gone on to become the worlds #1 leading expert in his specialty field of douche-baggery. Hall also still makes the news now and then when he gets drunk and causes disturbances on planes when 99% of the stewardess refuse to have sex with him because he is too old and fat now.

Footnotes

  1. Or just under that category.
  2. Though Bret Fart claims otherwise.
  3. Later also known as Kevin Nash, the voice of Elmo.
  4. No Way Out-Of-Us-Fucking-Your-Ass-Anytime-Anywhere-We-Want.

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