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Scienticians originated from what is now known as Zimbabwe during the early Bronze Age, until the mid 20th century. At this time, they were randomly relocated due to fear of utter annihilation at the hands of a Robert Mugabe-instigated genocide. They are a product of scientists and mathematicians. The most famous of these continues to be Sir Isaac Newton who, in a startling coincidence unknown even to himself, was from Zimbabwe. The exploits of Scienticians have dazzled many, including Queen Victoria, who was particularly amazed when an unknown British Scientician took his underwear off without removing his trousers. Unfortunately, behavior such as this led to the belief that all Scienticians were evil wizards and time travelers, a fact vehemently denied as "absurd" by Scienticians. It is worthy of note that Merlin was a Scientician, which is a fact that these deniers firmly ignored.

Impact of Scienticians

Scienticians have made many advances in technology, including the toaster, bubble gum, those things you can put on the back of your phone which light up when you get a text, gravity, sticks, marmalade, The Pope, the rock band "The Hives" and much more.

Today, the iPod cable is widely acknowledged as the most useful invention of the Scientician. Before the invention of iPod cables, the iPod was simply used to prop up desks and light up dark rooms. Now, it is used to transport large quantities of pornography, music and podcasts (also invented by a Scientician).

Modern Scienticians

Since the invention of the iPod cable in 1972 (and its subsequent introduction in the late), the global Scientician population has flourished and there are currently 7 Scienticians actively practising; their current projects include, "Getting the Most from your Bubble Gum", and "The Pope: User Guide".

The Future

Unfortunately, it seems that global warming is forcing Scienticians to move to darker climates. For example 3 or more Scienticians have been sighted in the Amazon, the South Pole and northeast England. These "infestations" of Scienticians, as national newspapers such as "The Sun" and "The National Inquirer" have dubbed these surges, have created animosity towards the common Scientician. This is augmented by the image of evil wizardry, a rumor still vehemently denied even today. This situation greatly threatens the current rise in the global Scientician population. A chav(greatly stupid person) said, "Scienticians? Ain't that that thing wot we was gonna kill later?" Unfortunately, this attitude was reciprocated by a herd of nearby chavs (plural of: greatly stupid person), which led to the violent lynching of local Scientician John Edwards. While this kind of travesty could be avoided with greater press support for Scienticians, such an option seems unlikely, as the head of a nation television network recently released the following press statement:

Fuck Off

Will there be any Scienticians left by the end of this century? Who knows? What we do know is that the current situation around the world does not support the existence of the common Scientician.

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