Science fiction

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[[File:Taft-era-lincoln-bedroom.jpg|thumb|350px|A potential sci-fi orgasm of galactic proportions]]
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[[File:Taft-era-lincoln-bedroom.jpg|thumb|400px|<center>'''A potential orgasm of galactic proportions.'''</center>]]
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'''Science Fiction''' offers readers and viewers conceptions of alternate realities; realities which are more realistic than reality itself. Science fiction is largely based on writing rationally about these real alternative possibilities, because it is extremely rational to believe that on every second planet capable of sustaining life there is an idyllic society that is only kept in peace due to a dogmatic justice system wherein even the slightest idle deviation from the norm will result in instant death. A death rarely rationed out to a small ratio of the population until real drama becomes possible when the main character justly poses an unpopular social problem with dog-like determination.<ref>The extreme terminal nature laid down by these plots will sustain most pop Sci-fi writers.</ref>
 
   
Sci-Fi uses scientifically derived scenarios, such as:
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'''Science Fiction''' offers readers and viewers alternate realities, often more realistic than reality itself. Taking them to the vast reaches of [[outer space|outer]] and inner space, putting some weird 23<sup>rd</sup> century technologies in their hands, and introducing them to attractive aliens just itching to make love to starship captains, science fiction routinely feeds its fans questionable plot devices in the midst of action-packed adventures. [[Time travel]], [[Robots]], [[faster-than-light]] travel and alien civilizations strangely resembling the Huan dynasty are all common elements in tales where the heroes and heroines dodge lasers, giant insects, and alien spouses.
*A setting in the [[future]], in alternative timelines, or in a historical past that contradicts known facts of history or the archaeological record. In short, anything which takes the reader's mind off of the present day mess that our species has made of our home planet.
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*A setting in [[outer space]], on other worlds, or involving aliens, who are usually attractive and are just itching to make love to human starship captains.
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Science fiction can be as real as a lightsabre to your midsection or as malleable and transitory as the most surreal of [[Dreaming|dreams]]. Never mind logic, or [[physics]], or even [[common sense]]. Put aside everything you know about time, history, or distance; science fiction just asks you to sit back and enjoy the ride.
*Stories that involve discovery or application of new scientific principles, such as [[time travel]], or new technology, such as [[nanotechnology]], [[faster-than-light]] travel, [[Robot|robots]], or [[Pop-Tarts]].
 
*A storied setting in which the hero dodges lasers, giant insects, or alien husbands.
 
   
 
==Definition==
 
==Definition==
{{q |Science fiction is what science fiction editors publish| [[wikipedia:John W. Campbell|John W. Campbell]] | Science Fiction}}
 
Science fiction is difficult to define, as it includes a wide range of subgenres and themes. So outside of saying that it's a bunch of made up stories which include some elements of scientific theory or fact, any [[:wikipedia:Definitions of science fiction|published attempt to define science fiction]] is clearly incorrect and is blowing smoke where the nuclear furnace which we orbit at a rate of approximately once every 365 days don't shine.
 
   
==The history of science fiction==
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{{q |Science fiction is what science fiction editors publish.|[[wikipedia:John W. Campbell|John W. Campbell]] | science fiction}}
[[File:7489-RP-IcarusFalling2-44x28-det1.jpg|200px|thumb|Icarus demonstrating the dangers of pre-emptive use of science fiction technology.]]
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[[File:7489-RP-IcarusFalling2-44x28-det1.jpg|thumb|left|The lack of technobabble proved to be the downfall of Icarus, an early science fiction hero, when his insufficiently exaggerated [[wikipedia:wax|flying contraption]] failed him.]]
A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away, Science mythology was invented by a man named Plato, who surmised that the stars were tiny candles in the sky, and were actually the spirits of his ancestors who had somehow turned into wax. Wax continued to play a big part in sci-myth, as seen in the story of Icarus, the first Superman. [[Icarus]] a dull and impressionable lad, was persuaded by his father that human flight was possible if one attached feathers to ones arms with wax. Needless to say, Icarus found that flight was indeed possible for a short time, but due to the underdeveloped nature of the technology used, the wax melted as it was heated by the sun, the feathers fell out, and Icarus plunged to his [[Dead|death]]. This forever branded the Sun as history's first arch-villain.
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Science fiction is exactly what the name might indicate - [[lies|fiction]] involving science. What the name does not indicate, however, is that the science aspect can be nothing more than grossly exaggerated, made-up contraptions resembling [[TARDIS|street objects]] or [[General Grievous|soap dispensers]] that play little to no part in the actual plot. Instead, the fiction will typically revolve around perfectly mundane and timeless situations such as wars, politicking, bad decisions, arranged marriage, and piracy, while the science merely serves to compose a more fantastical backdrop, making for more interesting cinema posters. With increasing frequency, it will also conveniently come to the rescue of incompetent writers after they write the plot of a popular [[television]] series into a corner in which all of the main characters wind up dead. 
   
Throughout the centuries nerds read Plato's sci-myth stories with serious and deep intent, and Icarus conventions attracted other nerds and one or two women from all corners of the province. Relics of these Ic-cons, sold on e-bay, provide us with many waxen clues to the ancient world.
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====Intensity====
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Most science fiction will fall within a scale of intensity of ''Soft'' to ''Hard'', much like the average science fiction fan's love life. This 'intensity' spans how technical and how seriously a story takes itself, how little plot it has, and whether its characters talk about the technical aspect of the science or they fawn over the beauty of a special-effects forest. Regardless of where a story falls on this scale, the likelihood of the plot revolving around the science remains fairly minimal.
   
Sci-myth rested on its laurels until [[Jules Verne]], a silly [[Find the Froggy|Frenchmen]] who got tired of smoking Gauloises and scorning the English, decided to dazzle the world with his ludicrous visions of traveling [[wikipedia:A Journey to the Center of the Earth|hither]], [[wikipedia:From the Earth to the Moon|thither]] and [[wikipedia:Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea|yon]]. Alas, as much as he tried, he could not stop his habit of [[wikipedia:Around the World in Eighty Days (Verne novel)|scorning the English]]. Pfffft.
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[[File:One ringworld.jpg|thumb|320px|[[wikipedia:Larry Niven|Larry Niven]]'s [[Discworld|Ringworld]] (with this Ringworld I do wed) is an example of ''Hard'' science fiction. One group of European fanatics spent their short loveless lives examining top-soil erosion charts just to prove that Ringworld's entire landmass would have been washed away; the turnout was staggering.]]
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''Hard'' science fiction takes its fans to the extremes of what others tend to consider overly serious. It consists of books that have never been finished and scripts that have never been produced, since their excessively technical nature aligns perfectly with the tendency of the authors to die before completing their work (as they, unlike their creations, are not [[Cylon|immortal robots]]). Even if the author, after several decades, does finish, it falls to their publisher to inform them that they forgot to include a plot. The end result is not [[suicide|dissimilar]].
   
H.G. Wells then came along, scared the bejesus out of everyone with his ''War of the Worlds'', and thus lit a Plato-like candle under Orson Welles' career many decades later. Orson Welles' instant fame and subsequent career became the premier accomplishment of the literary genre of Science fiction. Later [[Edgar Rice Burroughs]] upped the ante on Verne and Wells, put Mars on the map, inspired many new SF authors, and paved the way for all of the [[Superman|super]]-[[Bruce Wayne|heroes]] to come.
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It wasn't until 1961, after twenty-four straight years of writing and countless gallons of gin, that Arthur C. Clarke finally published the first ''Hard'' science fiction book: [[wikipedia:A Fall of Moondust|A Fall of Moondust]]. Written in three volumes, the first 200 pages explain the respiratory system of every being on Earth. It goes downhill from there. Since then, only four other "Hard" science fiction books have been completed, each read by dozens of fans solely for the purpose of finding the smallest errors in the writers' calculations.
   
After the era of Verne, Wells, and Burroughs, a shimmer in the air appeared in downtown London. In a flash, an old police box materialized out of nothingness. Bystanders report that the door banged open, five men were tossed out onto the pavement, and the police box once again disappeared. The men, when questioned, claimed they had been commissioned by a doctor to travel through time and write science fiction that would far surpass that of the legends who came before them. The five giant's names were Robert Heinlein, Isaac Asimov, Ray Bradbury, Kilgore Trout, and Arthur C. Clarke.
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''Soft'' science fiction, on the other hand, tends to contain little technical information, instead relying on epic spaceship battles or plushy, cuddly things like limp plots and inconsistent personalities. This is much more effective when it comes to sales; as a result, pretty much any science fiction widely accepted falls under the category of ''Soft''.
   
[[image:asimov1.jpg|left|200px|thumb|Asimov. A visionary or a loony with excessive sideburns?]]
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==Genres==
===Isaac Asimov, the Nerd===
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Throughout much of [[history of Great Britain|recorded civilisation]], there was little distinct concept of ''science'', let alone ''science fiction''; even now it has perhaps the most fuzzy boundaries of any literary genre, spanning pretty much anything incorporating the slightest bit of science or organised magic. Subsequently, attempting to classify subdivisions of something so [[politics|inherently vague]] would be quite difficult, were it not for the many science fiction fans who happen to have a great deal of spare time on their hands.
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"The Zeroth Law of Robotics is - you don't talk about the laws of robotics" ~ '''[[wikipedia:R. Daneel Olivaw|R. Daneel Olivaw]]'''
 
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[[Isaac Asimov]] decided to write about robots and only robots. He wrote a Robot Series, the collection of stories "I, Robot" (which has since been perverted into a [[Movie|rape of classical literature]]), the Foundation Series, the Laws of Robotics, the Guidelines of Robotics, the Wax Robots, the Suggested Instructions to Follow if You are a Robot, and various other novels and short stories that had only robots as their characters. His publisher noticed the overabundance of the mechanical beings in his writings and changed a portion of them into humans before publication. Luckily, Asimov never noticed these changes as he was in a constant state of dementia, forgot that he had written the books that were published, and continued to write at a frenzied pace only later equaled by Stephen King and Nora Roberts.
 
   
===Robert Heinlein, the Dean===
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====Cyberpunk====
[[Robert Heinlein]] settled comfortably into the science fiction world, and eventually dominated it with books about his favorites pastimes--drugs, orgies and totalitarian regimes. His epic and complex stories of sex in totalitarian societies occurred while the lovers were waging war against intergalactic space insects won the hearts of millions. Some of them were even made into [[wikipedia:starship troopers|movies]]<ref>Terrible movies with Hollywood glitter morals replacing insightful cometary on society, government, war, and of course, interaction with innumerable species in intergalactic space reduced to one other stereotypical instance. '''''Ooh!''' And co-ed naked showers!!!''</ref>, depicting scenes of intertwined sex and violence supervised by a totalitarian military organization. His other works included classics such as ''Stranger in a Strange Land''--a drug and orgy filled tale of a young man from Mars who transforms human society into [[Hippies|Hippie]] [[Hippie Seperatist Movement|Heaven]])--a [[wikipedia:Time Enough For Love|series]] [[wikipedia:Lazarus Long|of]] [[wikipedia:The Past Through Tomorrow| books]] about longevity and how living longer leads to new and innovative ways to incorporate drug use into your orgies, and a strange series of volumes concerning the futuristic use of melted wax in exotic totalitarian governmental experimentation.
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[[File:Nixon1 092352ap.jpg|thumb|150px|The first cyberpunk broadcast, "My little techno-enhanced canine, Checkers."]]
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Cyberpunk science fiction, like most things now considered passé, emerged in the early 1980s. Typically set [[Game:Alone in the dark|in dark]], oppressive societies, the genre often includes futuristic advances in [[Dialup]] or another ([[Internet|Internet-like]]) information technology infrastructure meshed with advanced "gotta-have" commercial products, none of which involve personal hygiene. [[Nihilism]], [[Guide to a Postmodernist Art Exhibition|post-modernism]], and [[film noir]] themes and techniques are commonly used, often repeated endlessly to a point of [[redundancy]].
   
===Ray Bradbury, the Geek===
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One of the most successful cyberpunk series was the [[The MatriX3 Trilogilogilogy|The Matrix Trilogy]], an elaborate tale featuring a reluctant hero, Neo, who discovers he has been subjected to a virtual universe created by sentient robots who had taken over the world. He then escapes by using extreme violence. It was followed by the groundbreaking second film, which is set predominantly in a virtual world where the reluctant hero, Neo, has to use extreme violence on sentient robots in order to escape. The third film, involves Neo escaping from a virtual world, with sentient robots and extreme violence.
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The Sci-Fi Heavyweight fight of the 20th Century--[[wikipedia:Ray Bradbury|'''Bradbury''']] vs [[wikipedia:Robert Heinlein|'''Heinlein''']]--occurred in Las Vegas on November 29, 1958. As the bell rang Robert Heinlein came out of his corner, looked at the bespeckled and quivering Ray Bradbury, drew back his right fist, then clocked Bradbury with his left, thus winning the fight at 9 seconds of the first round.
 
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As a child [[wikipedia:Ray Bradbury|'''Ray Bradbury''']] apparently grew up in ravines, where sticks and stones ''did'' break his bones. He later grossed out the world with his [[wikipedia:Dark Carnival (book)|horror]] [[wikipedia:Something Wicked This Way Comes|fiction]], and inspired thousands of scientists and space explorers with his sci-fi. While taking his readers to Mars, or transporting them via time machines to their [[wikipedia:Dandelion Wine|inner]] [[wikipedia:The Halloween Tree|child]] and [[wikipedia:Fahrenheit 451|inner arsonist]], Bradbury's honoring of the human psyche defined sci-fi in [[Gay|new]] and [[Gay agenda|emotional]] ways.
 
   
===Kilgore Trout, the Bard===
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The series has been hailed as one of the most original trilogies of all time.
[[wikipedia:Kilgore Trout|Kilgore]] [[Kurt Vonnegut|Trout]], nicknamed "The Bard" by his jealous colleague Robert Heinlein, is the author of the Nobel Prize winning sci-fi opus [[wikipedia:Venus on the Half-Shell|Venus on the Half-Shell]]. One of his several hundred pulp novels, "Venus" tells the story of humanity on the brink, ready to topple at the touch of a feather but saved by the [[People Who Like to Fuck Naked|love]] of a [[Whore|good woman]]. Trout's other accomplishments range from the creation of the annual "Sci-fi Parade for Peace", which is held in hundreds of major international cities, to the invention of the word "quagmire" to describe the world's present situation regarding [[Catholicism|religious]] [[Islam|fundamentalism]].
 
   
===Arthur C. Clarke, the Visionary===
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====Time travel====
[[Arthur C. Clarke]], a proper Sri Lankan-born Englishman who wrote [[2001: A Space Odyssey]], invented the satellite communication network, and brought the Sci-fi literature on wax into the 21st Century with his ''Waxmen of Jupiter'' trilogy, personified the prophetic branch of science fiction. He is also known for what came to be known as [[wikipedia:Clarke's three laws|"Clarke's Three Laws"]] which stated that "elderly scientists are always wrong", "all possible things are impossible", and "[[A wizard did it|magic exists]]."
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In what may be the most creative and enabling method in all media of storytelling, many science fiction authors have taken to incorporating the idea of [[time travel]] into their works, in which they [[ignorance|make up]] their own rules of time and space. By doing so, they avoid the need to follow the rules of good storytelling by avoiding the need to adhere to any distinct order of events. This conveniently sidesteps the usual continuity concerns, as this way there is no inconsistency between event A and the incongruous event B that followed, because event A ''never actually happened''.
   
==Sub genres of science fiction==
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Though it makes the writing itself more complicated, however, many modern time travel books and films have taken to attempting to distance themselves from the average [[acid trip]] by adding a complication, sometimes referred to as a '[[UnScripts:Star Trek (film, 2009 reboot)|plot contrivance]]', designed to connect the events in different timelines more concretely. This gives the events meaning, thus convincing producers why they really need to film them, as anything can have disastrous consequences. Stepping on a [[Firefly|dragonfly]] will bring the Nazis to power, and while going back to meet Marilyn Monroe and give her some modern day lovin' may seem enticing, it could well end the world.
One of the reasons why there are varied definitions of science fiction is due to science fiction being broken up into various sub-genres. A listing of these (and accompanying examples) is as follows:
 
   
===Hard SF===
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[[File:Doctor who amy kiss.png|thumb|left|250px|In an ironic twist, the Doctor's newest assistant attempts to sexually harass him.]]
Hard Science Fiction consists largely of books that have never been finished, due to the extreme technical and specific nature of their texts. Most Hard Sci-Fi books go so far into every tedious process that is happening that no plot or story ever breaks thru. It wasn't until 1961, after twenty straight years of writing, that Arthur C. Clarke published the first Hard Sci-Fi book [[wikipedia:A Fall of Moondust|A Fall of Moondust]]. This book was written in three volumes, with the first 200 pages explaining the respiratory system of every being on Earth and how the constant conversion between Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide affected the weather which in turn affected the launch of the rocket which in turn...
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Of the many science fiction series involving time travel, [[The Doctor|Doctor Who]] is perhaps the most well known. A "British" television series that involves a crazy man who flies through time and space in a police box picking up [[hookers|women]] and saving the world with a screwdriver, it is largely believed to have started around the mid 1900s, when people finally started picking up a television show that had actually been continuously beamed to earth by some form of alien intelligence since before mankind could walk upright. The motives behind this broadcasting are unknown, but are thought to be part of some sort of plot against Earth which results in large delays between the airing of each season while the episodes are being checked for any sort of harmful presence.
   
See? Clarke couldn't help but bore us and drive us to drink. Heinlein couldn't write hard Sci-fi if his wife depended on it. Bradbury, don't even go there. Even [[wikipedia:Ben Bova|'''Ben Bova''']] and [[wikipedia: Charles Stross|'''Charles Stross''']] have tried it, only to be rebuffed at the geeky sci-fi conventions and at the fancy-dan bookstores. In fact, in the annals of science fiction only four of these books have ever been completed and published. And because of the sheer immensity of these books, they are normally used to counterbalance elevators or alter gravitational fields.
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What harmful presence this may be is also unknown, as the main character of the alien show, called "The Doctor" most times, has already been bringing worlds to their collective planetary knees using only semi-witty banter and the aforementioned screwdriver the entire time.
   
There are some people who actually read these four books, but they don't read them for any reason other than to find the smallest possible fallacy in the writer's calculations. The readers of these books call this [[You're Screwed|"The Game"]].
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[[Back to the Future]], on the other hand, is considered to be the archetypical example of this genre, suffering from few to no technical complications or plot contrivances. This series centres around the idea that the protagonist could go back in time and get his mother liquored up and become romantically involved with her in his car while his father becomes slowly rejected and feels that he has been visited by an alien from another galaxy in his sleep, though such things are usually called dreaming. 
   
[[File:One ringworld.jpg|left|thumb|220px|One Ringworld to rule them all...]]
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Due to the social mores of the time the storyline instead was twisted instead so the protagonist helps his father sleep with his mother instead of doing it himself, despite the obvious [[psyche|Freudian sub-text]]. This concept combined with vaudevillian humour, something never before seen in a science fiction film, resulted in a blockbuster success.
====Ringworld====
 
One example of [[You're Screwed|"The Game"]] is the number of fans who spend lifetimes examining top-soil erosion charts just to announce to the [[Nobody Cares|world]] that in Larry Niven's novel [[Discworld|Ringworld]], the entire landmass would have long been washed away. Luckily these people use their massive amounts of time and intelligence finding fallacies in works of fiction instead of doing unimportant tasks like solving the energy crisis, saving the environment, or abolishing world hunger.
 
   
The same fans also point out that the Ringworld was not in a stable orbit, and would crash into the sun without active stabilisation. Niven fixed these errors in his sequel, [[Ringworm|The Ringworm Engineers]], by explaining that the world was stabilised by copies of [[wikipedia:A Fall of Moondust|A Fall of Moondust]] being place at significant points, and the sheer weight of the the tomes was enough to keep the world in balance.
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[[File:Solarflare1.jpg|thumb|250px|The ending many science fiction writers secretly hope [[God]] has in store for us.]]
   
[[Image:Wizarddidit.PNG|thumb|right|252px|When the Soft SF fans allowed this to win the [[wikipedia:Hugo Award|'''Hugo Award''']] at the 1998 [[wikipedia:Worldcon|'''WorldCon''']], the Hard SF fans rioted, injuring four Wookiees and a Klingon.]]
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====Military====
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Military science fiction is an important area of science fiction, as its purpose is to warn and prepare humanity for the [[UnNews:Stephen Hawking warns extraterrestrials may be "too tasty"|inevitable war]] with the first [[Alien|aliens]] we come across. Most military science fiction is written by ex-soldiers, and so their books tend to focus on the [[Teabag everything that moves|military values]] of loyalty, bravery, duty, and hardcore [[pornography|porn]] rather than on mundane things such as an original plot. Inspired by the worldwide military policy of taking whatever they want, most military science fiction authors lift their plots from historical wars (such as the American [[Civil War]] or the [[Battle of the Bulge in my Pants|Battle of the Bulge]]).
   
===Soft SF===
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[[Starship|Starship Troopers]] is often referred to as the original book in the genre of military science fiction. It centres around the story of armoured infantry in a war against [[Spider|arachnids]], otherwise known as ''[[Bug]]s'', who have destroyed [[Buenos Aires]].  The novel has been criticised as being overtly [[Politics|political]], [[Military|militaristic or pro-military]], [[Fascist|fascistic]], [[utopia]]n, and [[Racism|racist]].
Soft Science Fiction generally refers to Science Fiction that is more focused on plushy, soft or cuddly things. The most famous man to write in this sub-genre is Philip K. '''Dick''', mainly because people like to make fun of his name. Another major writer in this sub-genre is Ray Bradbury who epitomized the ideal "soft and cuddly" by writing stories with tiles such as [[wikipedia:The_Long_Rain|"The Long ''Plushy and not Irritating to the Point of Insanity'' Rain"]], "The Smiling People", "The ''Soft, Plushy, Cuddly and not Homicidal'' Illustrated Man", [[wikipedia:Here There Be Tygers|"Here There be ''Soft and Cuddly'' Tygers"]], "Bang! You're Dead! ''But Soft and Plushy!''", and many more.
 
   
Soft Science Fiction draws much criticism from Hard Science Fiction readers/writers on account that it contains a plot and is readable. Because of this closer connection to regular fiction, many more Soft Sci-Fi books are published than Hard Sci-Fi; however the fans of each type number roughly the same. The differences between these two groups can be seen at many different Sci-Fi conventions where the Hard Sci-Fi zealots act in a similar manner to the [[IRA]]. Well, they use lengthy papers full of incomprehensible theorems and large, strange diagrams instead of bombs and guns; but the hate is still there.
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The book was made into a motion picture by legendary science fiction director [[:wikipedia:Paul Verhoeven|Paul Verhoeven]], who made major changes to the story to remove many of these [[boobs|elements]] whilst exaggerating others. The resulting film has been widely criticised as being just plain terrible, but with awesome co-ed showers.
   
====Bradbury's Influence on Soft Sci-Fi====
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====Space Opera====
Due to his early acceptance as a "[[Impotence|Soft]] Sci-Fi Master", many publishers stopped actually reading Ray Bradbury's work but just accepted his submissions. After twenty years of this negligence it was discovered that many of Bradbury's short stories, which had been printing faster than Deutsch Marks during the Weimar Republic, did not actually meet even the loosest criteria for Science Fiction; as they were about [[wikipedia:I_See_You_Never|aliens of the Earthly sort]], [[wikipedia:The_Murderer|men who don't like the advancements in technology]] (which tends to be the opposite of Science Fiction), and [[wikipedia:Green_Shadows,_White_Whale|believing himself to be a metaphorical Captain Ahab]]. To hide their mistake, publisher's criteria for Soft Sci-Fi was all but obliterated, making almost [[wikipedia:Lolita|every]] [[wikipedia:Lassie Come-Home|book]] [[wikipedia:Silent Spring|ever]] [[wikipedia:Anne of Green Gables|printed]] technically fall under this category.
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Space Opera, which focuses on portraying [[wikipedia:Space Truckers|space battles]], inherits its name from the musical storytelling form that is normally associated with [[Mozart]], [[Viva Piñata|Vivaldi]], and fat women with loud voices. The term "Space Opera" was coined when William Shatner, who played Captain James T. Kirk on Star Trek, sang through the entire first episode of the series (although some say he was just talking). It is known for large, flashy battles, main characters with strange speech patterns, and music composed by [[wikipedia:Lost_in_Space#Music|John Williams]].
   
====Brave New World====
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=====Star Trek=====
[[Brave New World]] was a Soft Science Fiction book that supposedly takes place in 2011, in which the two main characters Ridley Scott and Leonardo DiCaprio ingest large amounts of [[Soma]] and have a shared hallucination. In this hallucination, they see men who have apparently all become letters of the Greek Alphabet as they all classify themselves as Alphas, Betas, Deltas, Upsilons, Kappas, and Plutos. Everyone in this hallucination also ingests soma, and the "Brave New Worlds" that each creates through their hallucinations are what the title refers to. Throughout this book, the men and women all realize that if everyone pitches in together and works to help the government and global elites, then everyone will be happy and joyful. Realizing that "joyful" and "government" were antonyms, this book was immediately labeled as Heinleinian fiction, and later "Soft Science Fiction" under the Bradbury loophole.
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[[File:Chekov.gif|frame|Sadly, none of the redshirts pictured get killed.]]
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:<div class="noprint">''Main articles: [[Star Trek]], [[Star Trek: The Next Generation]], [[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine]], [[Star Trek: Enterprise]], [[Star Trek: Voyager]], [[Star Trek: Series Guide]], [[Red Dwarf]] (which is, contrary to popular belief, part of the British version of Star Trek) and [[Star Trek Online|many]], [[Star Trek: The Vagina Monologues|many]] [[Star Trek (British Version)|more]]''</div>
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The original 1960s [[Star Trek]], which pioneered the advance of science fiction onto television, was a [[Prime Directive|prime]] example of the Space Opera sub-genre due to it's focus on flashy effects over any discernible plot. Due to Mr. Spock's logic and mutated ears, [[James T. Kirk|Captain Kirk's]] broad muscles and suicidal disregard for himself and his crew, and storylines which broke new ground solely because television was in its infancy and just starting to get around to some of the really good stuff, twenty-thousand men and twenty-five women across America have since adapted the show into a religion. Filmed on a measly budget of $47 and change, and using only thrown out cardboard boxes for scenery, the show was able to "wow" Americans by having William Shatner rip off his shirt before killing a red-shirted minor character, or a piece of rock, or a mop, or a barely describable patch of fog. The afterthought of a plot in each episode was so full of holes that male fans would dispute what actually happened until they went on [[St. Valentine's Day Massacre|enraged killing sprees]], while its female fans would understand that Kirk was only trying to do his best.
   
===Cyberpunk===
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After a half a dozen films, four more television series, and thirty or so stars on the walk of fame in Hollywood, the Enterprise enterprise is still going strong, though the writing remains as uniformly over-played as William Shatner's acting. <!-- Seriously, if you can think of something better... what was there just made no sense at all. -->
Cyberpunk sci-fi, like most things now considered passé, emerged in the early 1980s<ref>As long as you discount the 1927 movie ''[[Superman|Super-]][http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metropolis_(1927_film) Metropolis]''.</ref>. It's name is a [[portmanteau]] combining "''cyber''" (an abbreviation of [[Cybersex]]) and "''[[:wiktionary:punk|punk]]''" (an archaic term relating either to a prostitute or a male used for [[HowTo:Become A Rapist|unwilling sexual congress]], or alternatively, a [[now|modern]] term relating to a person with anti-establishmental tendencies who [[Poop throwing monkeys|doesn't follow societal rules]]).
 
   
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=====Star Wars=====
"If this was a real article you'd all be dead" ~ '''[[wikipedia:Hiro Protagonist|Hiro Protagonist]]'''
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:<div class="noprint">''Main Articles: Star Wars episodes [[Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi|four,]] [[Star Wars|five,]] [[Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi|six]], [[Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace|one]], [[Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones|two,]] and [[Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith|three]]''</div>
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The first use of the sub-genre's name was [[Mintrubbing|coined]] by author Bruce Bethke in his 1983 self-named "Cyberpunk" short story set one hundred years into the past. By cleverly relating old west prison inmates having ''virtual sex'' by use of the then futuristic ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morse_code Morse Code]'' the foundations of the franchise were set for all future [[Emo|would-be hacker-wannabes to obsess over]]. As can be gleaned from the name, the genre usually relates to dark, oppressive societies, and often included advances in [[Dialup|pre-internet]] ([[Internet|Internet-like]]) information technology infrastructure meshed with advanced "gotta-have" commercial products. [[Nihilism]], [[Guide to a Postmodernist Art Exhibition|post-modernism]], and [[film noir]] themes and techniques are commonly used, often repeated endlessly to a point of [[redundancy]].
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Take one part Edgar Rice Burroughs' Mars' princess in distress, two part's Heinlein's militaristic nightmare, a dash of Shakespeare here and there, some cool sound effects, and mix them together with any good sniffing glue, and out pops [[Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace|Star Wars]]. Geeks left their basements [[Locust|in the millions]] to witness the spectacle of a [[Yoda|midget]], a Jonas Brothers [[Luke Skywalker|wannabe]], and two automated can-openers defeat the Lord of the Universe-- [[Darth Vader|a guy]] with breathing problem [[Gay|dressed in a cape]]. After the merchandising cashflow windfall from the first film, the special effects money flowed and the first true trilogy was formed. The only things of importance that lasted after the first three films (labeled 4-6) was the promise of six more films, and Starship captain [[Han Solo|Harrison]] [[Harrison Ford|Ford]] going on to be featured in his own line of dusty hat and surprised look pseudo-science fiction [[Indiana Jones|series]], and a endless amount of other science fiction films with "Star" in their titles.
   
Although noted for its focus on "''[[Microsoft Knowledge Base|high-tech]] and [[low-life]]''" themes, Cyberpunkology is best experienced in a "''low-tech, [[stoned|high-life]]''" comic-book form. Primarily known through radio and [http://www.cyberpunkreview.com/cyberpunk-movies-by-decade/ film], CSF is no longer available through government programs, but now easily accessible to its fanbase through the ironic courtesy of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megacorp Megacorporations]<ref>Such as [[Disney]] or [[AOL|AOL-Time Warner]]</ref>.
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==Notable Authors==
   
{{Cquote|It was a cold musky morning in [[wikipedia:William Gibson|'''William Gibson's''']] head when the terms Cyberpunk and Cyberspace were coined. The draft coming from the cerebral cortex cleared the clouds of billowing smoke typically obscuring Gibson's conscious thought. A crowd of semi-conscious hackers, wearing slacks covered with machine oil and stray Ethernet cables, were nodding their head gloomily as they listened to Gibson laying out his plan to conquer the world of Science Fiction by force.
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[[image:asimov1.jpg|left|200px|thumb|Asimov. A visionary or a loony with excessive sideburns?]]
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====Isaac Asimov, the Nerd====
''"Don' 'stand you, mon, but we mus' move by [[wikipedia:Jah|'''Jah''']] Love, each one"'' said one of the nodding hackers. ''Just remember - I no come to hear about how horse dead an' cow fat. Jah love man, Jah love".
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"The Zeroth Law of Robotics is - do not question the laws of robotics" ~ '''[[wikipedia:R. Daneel Olivaw|R. Daneel Olivaw]]'''
Gibson, completely oblivious of the Rastafari proverb, ''and'' busying himself by hacking the pentagon, took the Rastafari's words as a vote of confidence. He let his busy mind fly, thereby bringing about--by the grace of Jah and Jah's honored prophet [[wikipedia:Neal Stephenson|'''Neal Stephenson''']]--cyber-sci-fi. |20px|20px|[[wikipedia:Philip K. Dick|'''Philip K. Dick''']]|on the birthing manual of what many call Cyberpunk - '''''[[wikipedia:Neuromancer|Neuromancer]]'''''}}
 
 
[[File:Matrix admin.png|190px|thumb|The Matrix code for when humans finally get to Mars. Don't hold your breath.]]
 
====The Matrix Trilogy====
 
The first film of [[The MatriX3 Trilogilogilogy|The Matrix Trilogy]] featured a reluctant hero, Neo, who discovers he has been subjected to a virtual universe created by sentient robots who had taken over the world, but then escapes by using extreme violence. It was followed by the groudbreaking second movie which is set predominantly in a virtual world where the reluctant hero, Neo, has to use extreme violence on sentient robots in order to escape. The third movie in the series, a real nailbiter, centers on Neo escaping from a virtual world created by sentient robots by using extreme violence.
 
 
The series has been hailed as one of the most original trilogies of all time.
 
 
===Time Travel===
 
The Time Travel sub-genre of Science Fiction derives its name from a multitude of overly complex discussions, correspondences, and fireside chats which eventually were encompassed in two easy to say words. Thus, the sub-genre of Time Travel was formed.
 
 
Sci-fi's Time Travel books and movies adhere to some of the most rigid criteria of all time, which state: "Something must move or interact with time in some way within a work of known literature." It was quickly noticed that everything was always moving through time, including the books and movies themselves. This led this outlet to be defined as just another sham sub-genre, although it became, and has remained, the most popular form of science fiction.
 
 
[[File:Amy-kiss-doctor.jpg|thumb|left|200px|In an ironic twist of fate the Doctor's newest assistant attempts to sexually harass him.]]
 
====Doctor Who====
 
[[The Doctor|Doctor Who]] is a well known "British" television series that involves a crazy man who flies through time and space in a police box <s>abducting</s> picking up <s>hookers</s> women and saving the world with a screwdriver. Largely believed to have started around the mid 1900s, the television show "Dr. Who" has actually been being beamed to earth by some form of alien intelligence since before mankind could walk up-right. The motives behind this broadcasting are highly unknown, but are thought to be some sort of plot against Earth which results in large delays between the airing of each season while the episodes are being checked for any sort of harmful presence. The main character of the alien show, called "The Doctor" most times, has been seen bringing worlds to their collective planetary knees using only semi-witty banner and the afore mentioned screwdriver; which is believed to be a "show of strength" by the aliens who are beaming the programme.
 
 
===Alternate History===
 
<div style="float:right;width:30%;background:#f8f8f8;border:1px solid #888;padding:5px;margin:15px;font-size:90%;">
 
"He who controls custard, controls the universe" ~ '''[[wikipedia:Paul Atreides|Paul Atreides]]'''
 
 
</div>
 
</div>
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[[Isaac Asimov]] decided early on to write about robots and only robots. He wrote a Robot Series, the collection of stories "I, Robot", the Foundation Series, the Laws of Robotics, the Guidelines of Robotics, the Wax Robots, the Suggested Instructions to Follow if You are a Robot, and various other novels and short stories featuring robots. His publisher noticed the overabundance of the mechanical beings in Asimov's writings, and changed a portion of them into humans before publication. Luckily, Asimov never noticed these changes and continued his writing, operating at a frenzied pace only later equaled by Stephen King and Nora Roberts.
   
The majority of alternate history science fiction centers around three main concepts.
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====Robert Heinlein, the Dean====
  +
[[Robert Heinlein]] settled comfortably into the science fiction world and eventually dominated it with books about his favourite pastimes--drugs, orgies and totalitarian regimes. His epic and complex stories of sexuality and lovers waging war against intergalactic space insects won the hearts of millions.
   
# ''What if [[Nazi|someone else]] won [[World War II|a war]].'' The earliest example of mainstream alternate history science fiction followed theme 1, it was written by a [[Bat Fuck Insane|patriotic]] Frenchman Louis Geoffroy, in which [[France]] won the [[Napoleonic Wars]], this prompted the [[British Empire]] to write a strongly worded letter claiming the story was 'A pile of bloody crap', the [[Russian Czar]] on the other hand took matters further, forcing [[Yakov Smirnoff]] to abandon the famed [[Russian Reversal]] debating technique and claim that "Russia beats YOU!!!" This caused a minor international incident, resulting in a huge dent in the popularity of the genre.
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His works included classics such as ''Stranger in a Strange Land'', a drug- and orgy-filled tale of a young man from Mars who transforms human society into [[Hippies|Hippie]] [[Hippie Seperatist Movement|Heaven]] and a [[wikipedia:Time Enough For Love|series]] [[wikipedia:Lazarus Long|of]] [[wikipedia:The Past Through Tomorrow| books]] about longevity and how living longer leads to new and innovative ways to incorporate drug use into one's orgies. Other strange series concerning further hippy themes amidst backdrops of exotic totalitarian governmental experimentation were made into [[wikipedia:starship troopers|films]] - although films with Hollywood glitter morals replacing insightful commentary on society, government, war, and of course, interaction with innumerable exotic species in intergalactic space.
# After this early setback most writers opted for a new theme, ''What if someone went back in time and killed [[Hitler]]'', resulting endless repetitions of the idea that:
 
## Someone even worse took over and the Nazis won the war. (A potentially dangerous overlap with theme 1)
 
## The rise of an even more powerful [[Soviet|Soviet Union]] and the Cold War escalating into a real or 'hot' war.
 
#:Understandably this also resulted in rather mixed reviews, drawing a large amount of criticism from the [[Jewish]] community, but is often hugely popular in certain [[KKK (disambiguation)|American]] and [[Neo Nazi|German]] sub-cultures.
 
# The resulting controversy prompted many authors to abandon any attempt at seriously thinking about major world politics and turn to the far more intriguing idea of ''What if you went back in time and changed your past.''
 
[[File:IMG 3289.JPG|thumb|left|200px|If you're going to build a time machine, at least make it out of a vehicle that has the commercial appeal of a can opener.]]
 
Though a great deal of authors began by [[Masturbation|toying with the idea]] of protagonists accidentally becoming their own fathers, this was widely rejected by the mainstream as being far too [[Gross|Freudian]].
 
   
====Back to the Future====
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====Ray Bradbury, the Geek====
[[Back to the Future]] is considered to be the archetypical example of this sub-genre. This series centres around the idea that the protagonist could go back in time and get his mother liquored up and become romantically involved with her in his car, while his father becomes slowly rejected and feels that he has been visited by and alien from another galaxy who tortures him by playing heavy metal at him in his sleep.
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As a child [[wikipedia:Ray Bradbury|'''Ray Bradbury''']] grew up in ravines, where sticks and stones ''did'' break his bones. He later grossed out the world with his [[wikipedia:Dark Carnival (book)|horror]] [[wikipedia:Something Wicked This Way Comes|fiction]], and inspired thousands of scientists and space explorers with his science fiction. While taking his readers [[wikipedia:The Martian Chronicles|to Mars]], or transporting them via time machines to their [[wikipedia:Dandelion Wine|inner]] [[wikipedia:The Halloween Tree|child]] and [[wikipedia:Fahrenheit 451|inner arsonist]], Bradbury's honoring of the human psyche defined science fiction in [[Gay|new]] and [[Gay agenda|emotional]] ways.
   
Due to the social mores of the time the storyline instead was twisted instead so the protagonist helps his father sleep with his mother instead of doing it himself, despite the obvious [[psyche|Freudian sub-text]]. This concept combined with vaudevillian humour, something never before seen in a sci-fi film, resulted in a block buster success.
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====Philip K. Dick, the Mystic====
  +
When [[Philip K. Dick]] began his journey into his own psyche he decided to take a struggling world along for the ride. His fans squeal in delight as each new movie based on his work emerges to bring pieces of his shattered mind into public consciousness. ''[[Blade Runner]]'', in which androids pretend to be people and people pretend to care, ''[[wikipedia:Minority Report (film)|Minority Report]]'', in which murder is forseen and stopped by a group of busybodies, and ''[[wikipedia:Paycheck (film)|Paycheck]]'', which portrays the horror of seeing ones deductions skyrocket as ones bank account vainly attempts to keep up with inflation, are movies viewed yearly by millions of frightened people. Near the end of his life Dick thought his mind was living in one of his novels while his body was actually a citizen of ancient Rome. For this, and his other creations, [[wikipedia:Philip K. Dick|Dick]] is on everyone's lips most of the time.
   
===Apocalyptic Science Fiction===
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====Kilgore Trout, the Bard====
[[File:Solarflare1.jpg|thumb|250px|The ending all Apocalyptic Sci-Fi writers secretly hope [[God]] has in store for us.]]
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[[wikipedia:Kilgore Trout|Kilgore]] [[Kurt Vonnegut|Trout]], nicknamed "The Bard" by his jealous colleague Robert Heinlein, is the author of 117 novels and over 2000 short stories, all published in men's magazines and illustrated by pictures of women with their blouses being torn off by ravenous wolves (none of which ever had anything to do with his stories). Trout's only other accomplishment is the invention of the word "quagmire" to describe the world's present situation regarding [[Fundagelical Christianity|religious]] [[Islam|fundamentalism]].
Apocalyptic science fiction deals with the [[end of the world]] and usually the bit that happens after the end of the world as well. At the heart of every apocalyptic fiction novel is the struggle of the [[Emo|angst]] ridden protagonist to deal with unending loneliness and a desperate attempt to preserve what little remains of their society.
 
   
Before 1945, all apocalyptic science fiction attributed the end of the world to an act of [[God]], but after the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki humanity realised that they could [[End of the World|do it themselves]]. Modern apocalyptic science fiction sees humanity destroying itself through the frenzied use of, [[viruses]], [[Nuclear missile|nuclear weapons]], [[Global Cooling|weather manipulation]] and [[Zombies]].
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====Arthur C. Clarke, the Visionary====
  +
[[Arthur C. Clarke]], a proper Sri Lankan-born Englishman who wrote [[2001: A Space Odyssey]], invented the satellite communication network, and brought wax-oriented science fiction literature into the 21st century with his ''Interplanetary Flight'' trilogy, where men fly to Jupiter in a spacecraft made from wax and sticks. He is also known for what came to be known as [[wikipedia:Clarke's three laws|"Clarke's Three Laws"]]: "Elderly scientists are always either wrong or lusting", "All impossible things are tomorrow's paycheck", and "[[A wizard did it|Magic exists]], but don't count on it to do the laundry."
   
====The Bible====
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==The future of science fiction==
<choose>
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[[File:Startrek-BSoD.gif|frame|Science fiction led this bright-eyed lad to believe that a computer running Windows could actually work.]]
<option>::''Cool Main article: [[New Cooler Edition|The Bible]]</option>
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The ability of science fiction to predict the technology of the future, such as the automatic sliding door (first featured in [[Star Trek]]) or human flight (first featured in Greek mythology), has often led to disastrous attempts to use technology before it is fully developed.
<option>::''Repent today: [[New Cooler Edition|The Bible]]</option>
 
</choose>
 
   
The first example of apocalyptic science fiction to enter popular culture was the [[Bible]], which featured not just one, but two apocalyptic events, which could go some way to explaining its enduring popularity and the [[Christianity|cult-like]] following that surrounds it.
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Though most science fiction-based accidents are harmless (such as running headfirst into closed sliding doors, or getting hit with a fake lightsabre), occasionally tragedy strikes. The bad news always comes at the end of the party, or, in this case, both at the end of this article and human history.
   
Most readers enjoy the [[Old Testament|first half of the book]], in which the descendants of Noah and his family (survivors of the first apocalypse) struggle to re-establish civilisation and populate the world aided by [[God]], doves, and wax. The [[New Testament|second half of the sci-fi novel]] introduces two of the most popular characters, [[Jesus]] and his [[Virgin Mary|his mom]]. Soon [[Gay Jesus|Jesus]] and [[wikipedia:Jah|God]] embark upon a quest to save the world from itself, a common sci-fi theme, and in an unexpected twist this quest results in both the death of the [[Raptor Jesus|hero]] and humanities slow decline into oblivion. What did the human race do wrong? They failed to accept the hero as their lord and saviour! This bleak message has often led to critics describing the final chapter of the sci-fi classic, entitled [[Revelations]], as being 'too preachy', 'too confusing', or, recently, just 'too trendy'.
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Here it is: We are all going to die in 2012. This can be directly blamed on science fiction. That's right. This inevitable date with destiny, long seen and admired by Aztecs, psychics, and people on good mushrooms, involves a "[[Tropical cyclone|perfect storm]]" of science fiction themes turned deadly.
   
====Soylent Green====
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We can pin this on [[Dune|Frank Herbert]], the creator of the classic ''[[Dune]]'' series. Starting with Herbert and working its way through Roddenberry, [[wikipedia:Greg Egan|Greg Egan]], and [[wikipedia:Rudy Rucker|Rudy Rucker]], nanotechnology came about ''because'' writers wrote about it, and then unscrupulous scientists went ahead and built it. So it turns out that the massive 2012 sunspots will send giant particle storms sweeping over the Earth's electrical grid, thus releasing all of the nanobots into the world's water supply (damn you Ice-9, damn you!). This, of course, will turn our innards to waxlike machine-guck, and there is nothing that can be done about it. Machine guck, all of us. All we are is guck in the wind.
{{main|Soylent Green}}
 
   
One of the most famous, most used as a parody base, and most used examples of apocalyptic science fiction, second only to the Bible, Soylent Green is set in 2022 in an overcrowded city. It is about a detective who is investigating a murder, and discovers that Soylent Green is PEOPLE!
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So live it up until late 2012 (some people will live a little into 2013, but don't count on seeing [[Valentine's Day]]). And so if you meet one of those science fiction geeks, all dressed up like some damn alien or a minor player in a two-bit horror film, step on their glasses and punch their lights out. It's ''all'' their fault, for encouraging the writers. 
 
===Military S.F.===
 
[[File:Flipflop.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Flip-flops - the best weapon against bugs.]]
 
Military science fiction is an important sub-genre of Sci-Fi as its purpose is to warn and prepare humanity for the [[UnNews:Stephen Hawking warns extraterrestrials may be "too tasty"|inevitable war]] with the first [[Alien|Aliens]] we come across. Most military sci-fi is written by ex-soldiers, and so their books tend to focus on the [[Teabag everything that moves|military values]] of loyalty, bravery, duty, and hardcore [[pornography|porn]] rather than on mundane things such as an original plot. Inspired by the worldwide military policy of taking whatever they want, most military sci-fi authors lift their plots from historical wars (such as the American [[Civil War]] or the [[Battle of the Bulge in my Pants|Battle of the Bulge]]).
 
 
====Starship Troopers====
 
[[Starship|Starship Troopers]] is often referred to as the original book in the sub-genre of Military Sci-Fi. It centers around the story of armoured infantry in a war against [[Spider|Arachnids]], otherwise known as ''[[Bug]]s'', who have destroyed [[Buenos Aires]]. The novel has been criticised as being overtly [[Politics|political]], [[Military|militaristic or pro-military]], [[Fascist|fascistic]], [[utopia]]n, and [[Racism|racist]].
 
 
The book was made into a motion picture by legendary sci-fi director [[:wikipedia:Paul Verhoeven|Paul Verhoeven]], who made major changes to the story to remove many of these [[boobs|elements]] while exaggerating others. The movie has been widely criticised as being [[crap|craptastic]].
 
<ref>But with co-ed showers.</ref>
 
 
===Space Opera===
 
The Space Opera sub-genre, which focuses on portraying [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Truckers space battles], inherits its name from the musical storytelling form that is normally associated with [[Mozart]], [[Viva Piñata|Vivaldi]], and fat women with loud voices. The term "Space Opera" was coined when William Shatter, who played Captain James T. Kirk on Star Trek, sang through the entire first episode of the series (although some say he was just talking in a strange speech pattern). The sub-genre is know for large, flashy battles, main characters with strange speech patterns, and music composed by [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_in_Space#Music John Williams].
 
 
====Star Trek====
 
[[File:Kirk.gif|frame|359px|<center>'''"The Galaxy is alive. . .with the sound of. . .music"'''</center> <center>(<small>Starfleet gave ''this guy'' a ship?)</small></center>]]
 
::''Main articles: [[Star Trek]], [[Star Trek: The Next Generation]], [[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine]], [[Star Trek: Enterprise]], [[Star Trek: Voyager]], [[Star Trek: Series Guide]], [[Red Dwarf]] (which is, contrary to popular belief, '''part''' of the British version of Star Trek) and [[Star Trek Online|many]], [[Star Trek: The Vagina Monologues|many]] [[Star Trek (British Version)|more]]''
 
The original 1960s [[Star Trek]], which pioneered the advance of Sci-Fi onto television, was a [[Prime Directive|prime]] example of the Space Opera sub-genre due to it's focus on flashy effects over any discernible plot. Due to Mr. Spock's logic and mutated ears, [[James T. Kirk|Captain Kirk's]] broad muscles and suicidal disregard for himself and his crew, and storylines which broke new ground solely because television was in its infancy and just starting to get around to some of the really good stuff, twenty-thousand men and twenty-five women across America have since adapted the show into a religion. Filmed on a measly budget of $47 and change, and using only thrown out cardboard boxes for scenery, the show was able to "wow" Americans by having William Shattner rip off his shirt before killing a red-shirted minor character, or a piece of rock, or a mop, or a barely describable patch of fog. The afterthought of a plot in each episode was so full of holes that male fans would dispute what actually happened until they went on [[St. Valentine's Day Massacre|enraged killing sprees]], while its female fans would understand that Kirk was only trying to do his best.
 
 
After a half a dozen movies, four more television series, and thirty or so stars on the walk of fame in Hollywood, the Enterprise enterprise is still going strong. The same can't be said for William Shattner, whose career has plummeted like a Klingon war vessel.
 
 
====Star Wars, Stargate, The Last Starfighter, etc.====
 
::''Main Articles: [[Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace|Star Wars' episodes one,]] [[Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones|two,]] [[Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith|three,]] [[Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi|four,]] [[Star Wars|five,]] and [[Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi|six]], [[Obi-Wan Kenobi|then]] [[Unidentified man in green firing turret|more]] [[UnScripts:Star Wars (2010)|Star]] [[Star Wars (Japanese Opera)|Wars]], [[Stargate]], [[wikipedia:Star Jones|Star Jones]], [[Starbucks]]''
 
 
Take one part Edgar Rice Burroughs' Mars' princess in distress, two part's Heinlein's militaristic nightmare, a dash of Shakespeare here and there, some cool sound effects, and mix them together with any good sniffing glue and out pops [[Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace|Star Wars]]. Geeks left their basements [[Locust|in the millions]] to witness the spectacle of a [[Yoda|midget]], a Jonas Brothers [[Luke Skywalker|wannabe]], and two automated can-openers defeat the Lord of the Universe-- [[Darth Vader|a guy]] with breathing problem [[Gay|dressed in a cape]]. After the merchandising cashflow windfall from the first movie, the special effects money flowed and the first true trilogy was formed. The only things of importance that lasted after the first three movies (labeled 4-6) was the promise of six more movies, and Starship captain [[Han Solo|Harrison]] [[Harrison Ford|Ford]] (we told you earlier how much alien women like starship captains) going on to be featured in his own line of dusty hat and surprised look pseudo-Sci-fi [[Indiana Jones|series]], and a endless amount of other Sci-Fi movies with "Star" in their titles.
 
 
==The dangers of science fiction==
 
[[File:Startrek-BSoD.gif|thumb|250px|Science Fiction led this poor, bewildered robot to believe a computer running on Windows could actually work.]]
 
The tendency of science fiction to predict the technology of the future, such as the automatic sliding door (first featured in the visionary program [[Star Trek]]) or Human flight (pioneered in the flight of Icarus), has often lead to disasterous attempts to use the proposed technology before it is fully developed.
 
 
Though most accidents that occur due to science fiction are harmless (such as running headfirst into closed doors), occasionally tragedy can strike. The first victim of applied science fiction, as mentioned above, was a young [[Geek|Greek]] boy named [[Icarus]]. However death by sci-fi is not just an occurrence of ancient history. [[The Misunderstood|Misunderstood]] science fiction continues to claim victims even into the present day, perhaps the most chilling example is the 1995 [http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1995-04.html JATO Rocket Car incident].
 
 
The bad new always comes at the end of the party, or in this case, both this article and human history. We are all going to die in 2012, and this can be directly blamed on the Science Fiction genre. This inevitable date with destiny, long seen and admired by Aztecs, psychics, and people on good mushrooms (as well as some of those on middling quality mushrooms), involves a "[[Tropical cyclone|perfect storm]]" of science fiction themes turned deadly.
 
 
We can pin this on [[Dune|Frank Herbert]], the creator of the classic ''[[Dune]]'' series. Starting with Herbert, and working its way through Roddenberry, [[wikipedia:Greg Egan|Greg Egan]], and [[wikipedia:Rudy Rucker|Rudy Rucker]], nanotechnology came about ''because'' writers wrote about it and unsrupulous scientists then went ahead and patented it. Then what's going to happen is the 2012 sunspots and particle storms will sweep over the Earth's electrical grid and let loose all of the nanobots into the world's drinking supply (damn you Ice-9!), turning our innards to waxlike machine-goo. And there is nothing that can be done about this. Machine goo, all of us. All we are is guck in the wind.
 
 
So live it up until late 2012 (some people, those who have the ''really'' good mushrooms, will live a little bit into 2013, but don't count on seeing [[Valentine's Day]]). And if you meet one of those sci-fi geeks, all dressed up like some damn alien or minor player in a two-bit movie, punch their lights out. It's their fault, for encouraging the writers.
 
 
<small>Machine guck. God damnit!</small>
 
   
 
==See also==
 
==See also==
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* [[HowTo:Make a B-Movie Monster]]
 
* [[HowTo:Make a B-Movie Monster]]
 
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* [[Lost in Space]]
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Latest revision as of 19:08, May 26, 2012

Taft-era-lincoln-bedroom

A potential orgasm of galactic proportions.

Science Fiction offers readers and viewers alternate realities, often more realistic than reality itself. Taking them to the vast reaches of outer and inner space, putting some weird 23rd century technologies in their hands, and introducing them to attractive aliens just itching to make love to starship captains, science fiction routinely feeds its fans questionable plot devices in the midst of action-packed adventures. Time travel, Robots, faster-than-light travel and alien civilizations strangely resembling the Huan dynasty are all common elements in tales where the heroes and heroines dodge lasers, giant insects, and alien spouses.

Science fiction can be as real as a lightsabre to your midsection or as malleable and transitory as the most surreal of dreams. Never mind logic, or physics, or even common sense. Put aside everything you know about time, history, or distance; science fiction just asks you to sit back and enjoy the ride.

edit Definition

“Science fiction is what science fiction editors publish.”
~ John W. Campbell on science fiction
7489-RP-IcarusFalling2-44x28-det1

The lack of technobabble proved to be the downfall of Icarus, an early science fiction hero, when his insufficiently exaggerated flying contraption failed him.

Science fiction is exactly what the name might indicate - fiction involving science. What the name does not indicate, however, is that the science aspect can be nothing more than grossly exaggerated, made-up contraptions resembling street objects or soap dispensers that play little to no part in the actual plot. Instead, the fiction will typically revolve around perfectly mundane and timeless situations such as wars, politicking, bad decisions, arranged marriage, and piracy, while the science merely serves to compose a more fantastical backdrop, making for more interesting cinema posters. With increasing frequency, it will also conveniently come to the rescue of incompetent writers after they write the plot of a popular television series into a corner in which all of the main characters wind up dead. 

edit Intensity

Most science fiction will fall within a scale of intensity of Soft to Hard, much like the average science fiction fan's love life. This 'intensity' spans how technical and how seriously a story takes itself, how little plot it has, and whether its characters talk about the technical aspect of the science or they fawn over the beauty of a special-effects forest. Regardless of where a story falls on this scale, the likelihood of the plot revolving around the science remains fairly minimal.

One ringworld

Larry Niven's Ringworld (with this Ringworld I do wed) is an example of Hard science fiction. One group of European fanatics spent their short loveless lives examining top-soil erosion charts just to prove that Ringworld's entire landmass would have been washed away; the turnout was staggering.

Hard science fiction takes its fans to the extremes of what others tend to consider overly serious. It consists of books that have never been finished and scripts that have never been produced, since their excessively technical nature aligns perfectly with the tendency of the authors to die before completing their work (as they, unlike their creations, are not immortal robots). Even if the author, after several decades, does finish, it falls to their publisher to inform them that they forgot to include a plot. The end result is not dissimilar.

It wasn't until 1961, after twenty-four straight years of writing and countless gallons of gin, that Arthur C. Clarke finally published the first Hard science fiction book: A Fall of Moondust. Written in three volumes, the first 200 pages explain the respiratory system of every being on Earth. It goes downhill from there. Since then, only four other "Hard" science fiction books have been completed, each read by dozens of fans solely for the purpose of finding the smallest errors in the writers' calculations.

Soft science fiction, on the other hand, tends to contain little technical information, instead relying on epic spaceship battles or plushy, cuddly things like limp plots and inconsistent personalities. This is much more effective when it comes to sales; as a result, pretty much any science fiction widely accepted falls under the category of Soft.

edit Genres

Throughout much of recorded civilisation, there was little distinct concept of science, let alone science fiction; even now it has perhaps the most fuzzy boundaries of any literary genre, spanning pretty much anything incorporating the slightest bit of science or organised magic. Subsequently, attempting to classify subdivisions of something so inherently vague would be quite difficult, were it not for the many science fiction fans who happen to have a great deal of spare time on their hands.

edit Cyberpunk

Nixon1 092352ap

The first cyberpunk broadcast, "My little techno-enhanced canine, Checkers."

Cyberpunk science fiction, like most things now considered passé, emerged in the early 1980s. Typically set in dark, oppressive societies, the genre often includes futuristic advances in Dialup or another (Internet-like) information technology infrastructure meshed with advanced "gotta-have" commercial products, none of which involve personal hygiene. Nihilism, post-modernism, and film noir themes and techniques are commonly used, often repeated endlessly to a point of redundancy.

One of the most successful cyberpunk series was the The Matrix Trilogy, an elaborate tale featuring a reluctant hero, Neo, who discovers he has been subjected to a virtual universe created by sentient robots who had taken over the world. He then escapes by using extreme violence. It was followed by the groundbreaking second film, which is set predominantly in a virtual world where the reluctant hero, Neo, has to use extreme violence on sentient robots in order to escape. The third film, involves Neo escaping from a virtual world, with sentient robots and extreme violence.

The series has been hailed as one of the most original trilogies of all time.

edit Time travel

In what may be the most creative and enabling method in all media of storytelling, many science fiction authors have taken to incorporating the idea of time travel into their works, in which they make up their own rules of time and space. By doing so, they avoid the need to follow the rules of good storytelling by avoiding the need to adhere to any distinct order of events. This conveniently sidesteps the usual continuity concerns, as this way there is no inconsistency between event A and the incongruous event B that followed, because event A never actually happened.

Though it makes the writing itself more complicated, however, many modern time travel books and films have taken to attempting to distance themselves from the average acid trip by adding a complication, sometimes referred to as a 'plot contrivance', designed to connect the events in different timelines more concretely. This gives the events meaning, thus convincing producers why they really need to film them, as anything can have disastrous consequences. Stepping on a dragonfly will bring the Nazis to power, and while going back to meet Marilyn Monroe and give her some modern day lovin' may seem enticing, it could well end the world.

Doctor who amy kiss

In an ironic twist, the Doctor's newest assistant attempts to sexually harass him.

Of the many science fiction series involving time travel, Doctor Who is perhaps the most well known. A "British" television series that involves a crazy man who flies through time and space in a police box picking up women and saving the world with a screwdriver, it is largely believed to have started around the mid 1900s, when people finally started picking up a television show that had actually been continuously beamed to earth by some form of alien intelligence since before mankind could walk upright. The motives behind this broadcasting are unknown, but are thought to be part of some sort of plot against Earth which results in large delays between the airing of each season while the episodes are being checked for any sort of harmful presence.

What harmful presence this may be is also unknown, as the main character of the alien show, called "The Doctor" most times, has already been bringing worlds to their collective planetary knees using only semi-witty banter and the aforementioned screwdriver the entire time.

Back to the Future, on the other hand, is considered to be the archetypical example of this genre, suffering from few to no technical complications or plot contrivances. This series centres around the idea that the protagonist could go back in time and get his mother liquored up and become romantically involved with her in his car while his father becomes slowly rejected and feels that he has been visited by an alien from another galaxy in his sleep, though such things are usually called dreaming. 

Due to the social mores of the time the storyline instead was twisted instead so the protagonist helps his father sleep with his mother instead of doing it himself, despite the obvious Freudian sub-text. This concept combined with vaudevillian humour, something never before seen in a science fiction film, resulted in a blockbuster success.

Solarflare1

The ending many science fiction writers secretly hope God has in store for us.

edit Military

Military science fiction is an important area of science fiction, as its purpose is to warn and prepare humanity for the inevitable war with the first aliens we come across. Most military science fiction is written by ex-soldiers, and so their books tend to focus on the military values of loyalty, bravery, duty, and hardcore porn rather than on mundane things such as an original plot. Inspired by the worldwide military policy of taking whatever they want, most military science fiction authors lift their plots from historical wars (such as the American Civil War or the Battle of the Bulge).

Starship Troopers is often referred to as the original book in the genre of military science fiction. It centres around the story of armoured infantry in a war against arachnids, otherwise known as Bugs, who have destroyed Buenos Aires.  The novel has been criticised as being overtly political, militaristic or pro-military, fascistic, utopian, and racist.

The book was made into a motion picture by legendary science fiction director Paul Verhoeven, who made major changes to the story to remove many of these elements whilst exaggerating others. The resulting film has been widely criticised as being just plain terrible, but with awesome co-ed showers.

edit Space Opera

Space Opera, which focuses on portraying space battles, inherits its name from the musical storytelling form that is normally associated with Mozart, Vivaldi, and fat women with loud voices. The term "Space Opera" was coined when William Shatner, who played Captain James T. Kirk on Star Trek, sang through the entire first episode of the series (although some say he was just talking). It is known for large, flashy battles, main characters with strange speech patterns, and music composed by John Williams.

edit Star Trek
Chekov

Sadly, none of the redshirts pictured get killed.

Main articles: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Enterprise, Star Trek: Voyager, Star Trek: Series Guide, Red Dwarf (which is, contrary to popular belief, part of the British version of Star Trek) and many, many more

The original 1960s Star Trek, which pioneered the advance of science fiction onto television, was a prime example of the Space Opera sub-genre due to it's focus on flashy effects over any discernible plot. Due to Mr. Spock's logic and mutated ears, Captain Kirk's broad muscles and suicidal disregard for himself and his crew, and storylines which broke new ground solely because television was in its infancy and just starting to get around to some of the really good stuff, twenty-thousand men and twenty-five women across America have since adapted the show into a religion. Filmed on a measly budget of $47 and change, and using only thrown out cardboard boxes for scenery, the show was able to "wow" Americans by having William Shatner rip off his shirt before killing a red-shirted minor character, or a piece of rock, or a mop, or a barely describable patch of fog. The afterthought of a plot in each episode was so full of holes that male fans would dispute what actually happened until they went on enraged killing sprees, while its female fans would understand that Kirk was only trying to do his best.

After a half a dozen films, four more television series, and thirty or so stars on the walk of fame in Hollywood, the Enterprise enterprise is still going strong, though the writing remains as uniformly over-played as William Shatner's acting.

edit Star Wars
Main Articles: Star Wars episodes four, five, six, one, two, and three

Take one part Edgar Rice Burroughs' Mars' princess in distress, two part's Heinlein's militaristic nightmare, a dash of Shakespeare here and there, some cool sound effects, and mix them together with any good sniffing glue, and out pops Star Wars. Geeks left their basements in the millions to witness the spectacle of a midget, a Jonas Brothers wannabe, and two automated can-openers defeat the Lord of the Universe-- a guy with breathing problem dressed in a cape. After the merchandising cashflow windfall from the first film, the special effects money flowed and the first true trilogy was formed. The only things of importance that lasted after the first three films (labeled 4-6) was the promise of six more films, and Starship captain Harrison Ford going on to be featured in his own line of dusty hat and surprised look pseudo-science fiction series, and a endless amount of other science fiction films with "Star" in their titles.

edit Notable Authors

Asimov1

Asimov. A visionary or a loony with excessive sideburns?

edit Isaac Asimov, the Nerd

"The Zeroth Law of Robotics is - do not question the laws of robotics" ~ R. Daneel Olivaw

Isaac Asimov decided early on to write about robots and only robots. He wrote a Robot Series, the collection of stories "I, Robot", the Foundation Series, the Laws of Robotics, the Guidelines of Robotics, the Wax Robots, the Suggested Instructions to Follow if You are a Robot, and various other novels and short stories featuring robots. His publisher noticed the overabundance of the mechanical beings in Asimov's writings, and changed a portion of them into humans before publication. Luckily, Asimov never noticed these changes and continued his writing, operating at a frenzied pace only later equaled by Stephen King and Nora Roberts.

edit Robert Heinlein, the Dean

Robert Heinlein settled comfortably into the science fiction world and eventually dominated it with books about his favourite pastimes--drugs, orgies and totalitarian regimes. His epic and complex stories of sexuality and lovers waging war against intergalactic space insects won the hearts of millions.

His works included classics such as Stranger in a Strange Land, a drug- and orgy-filled tale of a young man from Mars who transforms human society into Hippie Heaven and a series of books about longevity and how living longer leads to new and innovative ways to incorporate drug use into one's orgies. Other strange series concerning further hippy themes amidst backdrops of exotic totalitarian governmental experimentation were made into films - although films with Hollywood glitter morals replacing insightful commentary on society, government, war, and of course, interaction with innumerable exotic species in intergalactic space.

edit Ray Bradbury, the Geek

As a child Ray Bradbury grew up in ravines, where sticks and stones did break his bones. He later grossed out the world with his horror fiction, and inspired thousands of scientists and space explorers with his science fiction. While taking his readers to Mars, or transporting them via time machines to their inner child and inner arsonist, Bradbury's honoring of the human psyche defined science fiction in new and emotional ways.

edit Philip K. Dick, the Mystic

When Philip K. Dick began his journey into his own psyche he decided to take a struggling world along for the ride. His fans squeal in delight as each new movie based on his work emerges to bring pieces of his shattered mind into public consciousness. Blade Runner, in which androids pretend to be people and people pretend to care, Minority Report, in which murder is forseen and stopped by a group of busybodies, and Paycheck, which portrays the horror of seeing ones deductions skyrocket as ones bank account vainly attempts to keep up with inflation, are movies viewed yearly by millions of frightened people. Near the end of his life Dick thought his mind was living in one of his novels while his body was actually a citizen of ancient Rome. For this, and his other creations, Dick is on everyone's lips most of the time.

edit Kilgore Trout, the Bard

Kilgore Trout, nicknamed "The Bard" by his jealous colleague Robert Heinlein, is the author of 117 novels and over 2000 short stories, all published in men's magazines and illustrated by pictures of women with their blouses being torn off by ravenous wolves (none of which ever had anything to do with his stories). Trout's only other accomplishment is the invention of the word "quagmire" to describe the world's present situation regarding religious fundamentalism.

edit Arthur C. Clarke, the Visionary

Arthur C. Clarke, a proper Sri Lankan-born Englishman who wrote 2001: A Space Odyssey, invented the satellite communication network, and brought wax-oriented science fiction literature into the 21st century with his Interplanetary Flight trilogy, where men fly to Jupiter in a spacecraft made from wax and sticks. He is also known for what came to be known as "Clarke's Three Laws": "Elderly scientists are always either wrong or lusting", "All impossible things are tomorrow's paycheck", and "Magic exists, but don't count on it to do the laundry."

edit The future of science fiction

Startrek-BSoD

Science fiction led this bright-eyed lad to believe that a computer running Windows could actually work.

The ability of science fiction to predict the technology of the future, such as the automatic sliding door (first featured in Star Trek) or human flight (first featured in Greek mythology), has often led to disastrous attempts to use technology before it is fully developed.

Though most science fiction-based accidents are harmless (such as running headfirst into closed sliding doors, or getting hit with a fake lightsabre), occasionally tragedy strikes. The bad news always comes at the end of the party, or, in this case, both at the end of this article and human history.

Here it is: We are all going to die in 2012. This can be directly blamed on science fiction. That's right. This inevitable date with destiny, long seen and admired by Aztecs, psychics, and people on good mushrooms, involves a "perfect storm" of science fiction themes turned deadly.

We can pin this on Frank Herbert, the creator of the classic Dune series. Starting with Herbert and working its way through Roddenberry, Greg Egan, and Rudy Rucker, nanotechnology came about because writers wrote about it, and then unscrupulous scientists went ahead and built it. So it turns out that the massive 2012 sunspots will send giant particle storms sweeping over the Earth's electrical grid, thus releasing all of the nanobots into the world's water supply (damn you Ice-9, damn you!). This, of course, will turn our innards to waxlike machine-guck, and there is nothing that can be done about it. Machine guck, all of us. All we are is guck in the wind.

So live it up until late 2012 (some people will live a little into 2013, but don't count on seeing Valentine's Day). And so if you meet one of those science fiction geeks, all dressed up like some damn alien or a minor player in a two-bit horror film, step on their glasses and punch their lights out. It's all their fault, for encouraging the writers. 

edit See also

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