Scarfing
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There have been a lot of stories in the news lately regarding the sexual fetish referred to as scarfing. One of my friends' ex-wife always used to tell him that he should "stop scarfing all the pizza." Understandably, he was curious to know if this scarfing fetish involved the eating of lots of pizza? If it did, he felt it might be a fetish that he would be very good at, and he was wondering if this now meant he was some kind of kinky bastard.
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[edit] Etymology
Fortunately - or maybe unfortunately, depending at how one looks at it - the scarfing of pizza has absolutely nothing at all to do with the onanistic perversion known as scarfing. As you can see, they are pronounced differently. Of course, if you come from Boston, EVERYTHING is pronounced differently! The term scarfing - as it refers to the fetish, not the pizza eating - is simply a more vernacular reference to the kinky proclivity whose more correct medical term is Auto-erotic asphyxiation or AEA.
The origin of this vernacular term is because the sexual fetish AEA involves doing something very kinky with scarves ... so perhaps, you are already thinking, this sexual proclivity should really be called scarving instead? The problem is, one really only needs just the one scarf in order to pursue it. And then you don't really need that! The real reason that the AEA kink is called scarfing is that nobody actually uses any scarves at all in the pursuit of it ... except, of course, for Doctor Who! ... we'll be getting to him shortly.
You see, it's like this. If you go back and reread everything you've ever read about AEA, you'll quickly realize that scarves are never ever mentioned ... it's always lengths of cord, pieces of rope, strips of elastic, neck ties, belts, suspenders, stockings, tights ... just about anything, in fact, EXCEPT for scarves! So that's why they call it scarfing! It's pretty obvious, really, when you stop to think about it.
[edit] What it is
The sexual fetish known as autoerotic asphyxiation (AEA) is actually based on the fact that, like other forms of breath play, restricting one's breathing actually causes one to get a humungus hard-on. BTW, this is a purely male kink, so if you're a female fascinated by the possibilities of what scarfing could do to float your own boat, all that can be recommended to you gals is that you might want to give this one a miss and KNOT (pun intended) try this one at home. Now where were we? Oh, yeah ...
- "Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia." - Mark Twain
- "I wish I had said that." - Oscar Wilde
- "Ah, you will, Oscar, you will." - Winston Churchill
- "No, no, asphyxia is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia." - Tom Baker
- "Hee, hee, therein lies the rub ... and the bliss!" - Stephen Milligan
The erotic appeal of scarfing has something to do with the severe lack of oxygen flowing to the ... erm, lungs ... no, no, brain ... oh wait, nix that, penis ... yeah, well, I'm pretty certain it's one of those. It's exactly the same effect as when you see a drop-dead gorgeous woman that takes your breath away ... you immediately respond by getting a big, fat, juicy erection. Well, maybe YOU don't, but at least some of us horndogs do. And that's what counts here. The true origins of the kink go back to when public hangings and lynchings were commonplace - well, at least more commonplace than they are today. People passing the newly executed, freshly asphyxiated bodies dangling from the gibbet, or swinging from the gallows pole (did I mention that Robert Plant was into scarfing?), could not help but noticing that these corpses invariably had stupendous stiffies! No, no, really ... I'm not making this shit up! There is plenty of "hard evidence" to back up what I'm saying here. What? ... what? ... what?
[edit] Who does it ... yes, yes, Doctor Who does it!
Perhaps the most famous practitioner of the scarfing kink is Doctor Who. Remember him? Doctor Who always wore that really long dangly scarf that wrapped a few times around his neck. That's a dead give-away. For a scarfer, wearing a long scarf like that all the time is the equivalent of someone into, say, bondage, wearing tight leather clothing with a pair of handcuffs dangling from the waist. Or, for that matter, a transvestite dressed to the nines in his petticoats, ribbons, bows and frills. It just screams to those others in the know, "Hey! This is what I am, this is what I do, so please come grab my sorry ass and abuse me!" Thus Doctor Who's long scarf actually serves as a clear come-on to his fellow AEA kinksters as well as being a kind of cosmic talisman for him ... and not to mention making a very distinctive fashion statement, to boot!
[edit] Cosmic Edge Play
When it comes to scarfing Doctor Who was definitely an edge player. While the trick for most Earthbound AEA players is to suspend themselves in some manner from the ceiling, and then when they achieve sufficient tumescence to satiate their passion - or their face turns a dark shade of deep purple (did I mention that Roger Glover was into scarfing too?), whichever comes first - they hit some kind of instant release mechanism that is the AEA kinkster's equivalent of the free-fall parachutist's rip-cord. Of course, just as the case where the chute fails to open for the parachutist, if the scarfer's instant release mechanism fails, the results for him can be as equally fatal. That pretty well accounts for why the only people you ever hear about that are really into AEA are dead scarfers ... at which point it's kinda too late to invite them along to the next monthly meeting of your local BDSM support group.
[edit] Getting His Rocks Off
