RECNETLY THE STAFF HERE AT THE FREE NIGERIAN PRESS HAVE NOTICED THAT YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR WORK WITHIN OUR INDUSTRY. WE ARE HAPPY TO OFFER YOU AN OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE OVER $2,000 (TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS) A WEEK, ALL FROM THE COMFORT OF YUOR HOME.
SOUNDS TO GOOD TO BE TRUE? WELL IT IS, TRUE SO STOP PINCHING YOURSELF!
WE'D BE MORE THAN HAPPY FOR YOU TO JOIN THE STAFF HERE,applicant, ONCE YOU PASS THE BASIC ASSESSMENT TESTS OF COURSE. HAVE YOU PUT TOGETHER A PORTFOLIO OF YOUR JOURNALISTIC ATTEMPTS TO DATE? THAT'S THE FIRST AND FOREMOST THING. IF YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE PUTTING THIS TOGETHER OUR STAFF HERE CAN HELP YOU COMPILE THIS FOR A MEASLY COST OF USD$359.99, OR 3 MONTHLY PAYMENTS OF USD$129.99.
Secondly we'll need to get a police clearance of yourself as well. This will require 100 points of ID. Now due to recent regulatory changes this means you will need to post originals of your birth certificate, passport, driver's license, a copy of your recent bank statement, and your eftpos card. When sending through the eftpos card we will need to check it's digital autenticity, so you will need to inform us of your pin for it as well. Oh, and the police check does have a 79.99 fee attached to it, so we'll also need that, paid by credit card.
ALSO, AS YOU ARE AWARE, OUR EDITOR IN CHIEF HAS HAD TO FLEE THE COUNTRY DUE TO PERSECUTION OF HIS ENEMAS. NOW WE HAVE BEEN EXTREMELY IMPRESSED BY YOUR PROFESIONALLISM IN BUSINESS, SO WE ARE ENTRUSTING YOU TO HELP US GET THE $40,000,00 (FORTY MILLION USD) WE HAVE MANAGED TO HIDE FROM HIS ENEMIES OUT OF THE COUNTRY. THIS IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH, AND WE ARE HAPPY TO GIVE YOU 25% OF THIS SUM FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE. PLEASE, DO NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS, AS WE CANNOT TRUST ANYONE WITH THIS SECRET. IMMEDIATELY, SEND US YOUR BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS, AND PLEASE PLACE 2,000 USD IN THE ACCOUNT IMMEDIATELY TO COVER BANKING COSTS.
OH, AND WE WOULD LIKE TO GET AN IDEA OF WHAT YOUR HEALTH STATUS IS, AND THAT OF YOUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY. OUR DOCTORS ARE EXPERTS IN DIAGNOSIS VIA PHOTO RECOGNITION, SO SEND US AS MANY PHOTOS AS POSSIBLE OF YOURSELF AND ALL YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS NAKED.
ONCE AGAIN, WELCOME TO THE TEAM!
- HARDEEP KUMAR
- EDITOR IN CHIEF (ACTING)
- NIGERIAN FREE PRESS
- TOLLEMHAUS SQ.
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