Samene

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Samene, known as lapps or samis, are the self proclaimed indigenous people of Sameland. Samene today lives in an area totalling 264,000 sqm spanning over the northernmost parts of Norway, Sweden and Finland.

Originally one culturally homogenous group, the bloody civil war on the 15th of October 1929 between 2 and 3 pm split the samis into different sami fractions. The war ended following a year-long ceasefire negotiated at Camp David in Vietnam. This again is the reason that the expression "same, same, but different" has become a hugely popular sales pitch throughout South-East Asia.

[edit] History

The origins of the sami people are unknown, yet DNA analysis and cultural excavations suggest that the samis are stay-behinds from an early 18th century invasion attempt by the People's Republic of China arriving on reindeers through Russia. A central theory is that the Chinese originally wanted to overtake Norway for tea growing due to the sudden increase in tea prices after the Boston Tea Party in 1776. This invasion attempt was soon thwarted when polar bears ate all their initial crop.

In 1801 the first Sami Parliament, [Sametinget] or Samediggi was established, which became the model for the Norwegian [Stortinget] in 1814. On its opening, it was decided that their main sources of income would include reindeer hunting, fishing and tourism.

Most of what we know about the Sami people is the result of the ground-breaking studies of Christian Nicoleisson. This renowned scientist, graduate of the Faculty of Anthropology of the University of Central Vietnam, spent over 20 years with Sami, learning their language and observing their customs. He is best known for the 5-volume "Sexual Initiation of the Sami Male - the Reindeer Factor". Oscar Wilde, who is known to have been an avid reader of Nicoleisson`s work, is said to have remarked: "Christian Who?".

[edit] Language

The Sami language is a unique blend of Chinese, Norwegian, Islandic and Duck and is sometimes erroneosly considered to belong to the Finno-Yrchic language family.

The Sami language has been adapted to their natural surroundings. For instance, there are 300 different words for snow, including separate words for the first snow of the year that falls but melts (muohtavádjolit), the first snow that falls and stays (muohtagievra), the second snow that stays then melts (muohtavajuldit), flying snow (muohtabodga) and the first snow that falls, stays for a while, melts, and then kills someone (mouhtaheavvanit). There are also 32 different ways to describe a reindeer, and 15 ways to order a Big Mac.

As Sami people have to dress in layers to avoid the blistering cold, there are no way of telling whether one faces a man or a woman while talking. This has led to the lingual oddity that there are no sexes in the language and no reference to whether an object is considered male, female or asexual. This lingustic feature is however not unique, as it is shared by the people sharing similar climatic conditions, such as Greenland, Iceland and Portland.

[edit] Music

Sami music is considered to be an early predecessor to Black Metal, using vocals, hollow reindeer bones, snowballs and fishing boats to create a distinct and original sound which can be heard from miles away, especially when played through a radio.

Among the most popular performers of Sami music are today Mari Boine, Björk and Varg Vikernes.

As their language, the sami music has adapted through decades to form an efficient way of communicating feelings during important stages of sami life and events. Snow music, hunting music, funeral music, and trying to stay alive in the blizzard music are all integrated parts of cultural expressions which are being taught to sami children even from a very young age.

[edit] Doing business

After the 1978 WTO ban on all reindeer meat combined with introducing Norwegian governmental taxation in 1979, the samis were forced to adopt the Polish currency system which is now widely accepted in Russia and in the North Norwegian banking system.

One Norwegian Lutefisk is the approximate equivalent to 4 Polish Litres.

Contract negotiations tend to be a cultural shock for people doing business in Sameland for the first time, since entering any contract requires marrying the counterpart's sister. The tradition, which originally derives from the need to secure a family's status and economic well-being, has been required by law since 1983.

All contracts are written on the back side of two polar beer furs whereas each part keeps one original each, a practice that has been endorsed by Greenpeace since the beginning. As arbitration is unbeknownst to Sami people, most contract or marriage disputes are settled at the International Court of Juice.