Sam Mraovich

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MRAOVICH

Behold, Sam Mraovich. This is a picture of him from his website sammraovich.com in it he is advertising his current job. Behind him is a metaphor or pun for his ego... we don'y quite know yet... .

MRAOVICH2

A picture of Sam during a period in which he was advertising Wendy's on his site. If you or anyone you know would like to place an add on his website click on this link.

Bouncywikilogo9
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Sam Mraovich.

“Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes... but fuck me there's a limit!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Sam Mraovich

“Sam Mraovich? Oh Sam Mraovich! Sam Mraovich, Mraovich, Mraovich, Mraovich!”
~ Sam Mraovich on Sam Mraovich
“Who the fuck is Sam Mraovich?”
~ the average person on on Sam Mraovich
“Mur... av... ow.. M..ravon.. ich... Mur-av-on-ich... Mur-our-vich”
~ the average person trying to pronounce Mraovich
“DAM IT SAM!”
~ Jamie Brett Gable on Sam Mraovich
“What The Actual Fuck?”
~ Oliver Stone watching the end of Ben & Arthur
“Fuck off... You got my sugar yet?”
~ Mildread on Sam Mraovich
“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
~ Sam Mraovich on A Typical Day
“you... F-U-C-K!”
~ Angry Sam Mraovich
“Are you ready to accept Jesus as your saviour? An.. And free your soul from all these daemons? An.. erm... I'm not gay!”
~ Victor on Sam Mraovich
“This film is an epic work of art and anyone who says it isn't is just an ignorant childish cunt from Vermont who has no real taste in brilliant movies”
~ Sam Mraovich on Everyone's opinion of Ben & Arthur


Arthur Sails Sam Murourvich Sam Arthur Mraovich is a cult hero. His films have bought many many people from around the world together to bask in the glory of his dangerously underrated movies. Ben & Arthur, Steve's Hollywood Story, Sparring, Sight Seeing and many more have become known as the greatest films ever made. Universally acclaimed film Ben & Arthur almost took home fifty Oscars. Sorry, somehow Sam was able to sabotage the page... In reality, and not in Sams own ego filled world he is a Hollywood looser. He is a man who, with no effort or sacrifice at all, put his foot in the door (of the movie industry). Something thousands of people would kill for and something nobody has ever before fucked up so badly on. All his productions most of all Ben & or and Arthur has come under ridicule, insult, mass Trolling and has also become very controversial with Christians, homosexuals, people of all ethnicity, Vermont, L.A., Alaskan Airlines, Scott Joplin and many more. Sam is currently living in an imaginary world where he is an icon for the next generation of film makers. He occasionally blogs about the current state of the film industry he believes he was once (in Sams mind "he is") apart of. He is famous, and now hated for quoting the words "I" "Inspired" "Christopher Nolan" Now he didn't necessarily say those words in that order or even in the same sentence, but he has said those words which means he is a liar and a cheat. He can never use the word "Inspired" because he has none to give out, he is an "It" therefore not an "I" and how dare he say the name of God.

Apart from constantly dreaming of one day winning an Oscar and bitching about it on Facebook and Twitter, Sam is best known (as mentioned above) for his epic-fail of a film Ben & Arthur. Its basically a film about two gay guys who want to get married, that's it. All the other plot elements in the film is Sams way of showing his arrogance, ignorance and hatred towards things he doesn't understand in life. The film made a huge change in the way movies were done, made, thought about and watched because every single human in the world realised no matter hard they tried they could never make anything that amounted to being as shit as Ben & Arthur. It is also notable that the pure genius of Ben & Arthur Sam has been named a modern day scholar and pioneer in movie making by Tommy Wiseau, the blind and Mraovich's family. (Although they lied as parents should do, no matter how shit they really think what there accidental offspring has produced)

Early Life (Of Sam)

Parents

Sam parents arn't important enough for there own page or profile, so they get there own content as a sub-content. Sam's parents say they were college educated, and that is how they met each other. However they really only ever have (and will) graduated from a high school in Canada. Which inturn, insistently got both of them that of an equivalent to an American college scholarship. Soon after they graduated they could only afford to move down to the dom ahss dum ass state of Ohio. Life was (and still is) difficult for two well educated, literate Canadian's living in a racist illiterate confederate Red Neck neighborhood, that honoured Conway Twitty and lived life stuck in the 1950's. But they were able to get by day to day by following the state motto "At least we're not Michigan." It was here they had there wedding and started there own bussiness which thrived due to the large number of KKK in the town. In 1972 Sam was born, whom was the eldest of the litter, and they started there very own family.


Husband Sam and Father Raybin got married.

Birth & Chilledhood Childhood

He was "apparently" born in 1976, to a now soft ass pussy Liberal family. Because of this change of political beliefs his upbringing was very different to the other kids in the village, who were smacked to with an inch of there lives. Unfortunately Right from the day he was born, Sam was a family outcast, and became the "Meg" of the growing Mraovich family. Although Sam was born into a loving family and taught in the typical pussy Liberal manner. His father could not stand the sight of him and his mother despised him due to the pain he put her through whilst she was giving birth to him. Sam was in the constant supervision by his grandparents and was mostly brought up by his racist Jewish grandfather.When he was six, Sam learnt about film making on a series of short youtube videos, and from these short clips believed he gained the equivalent to a scholarship in many many parts of the movie making business. From that day his aspiration was to work in the movie making industry.

His grandfather, being a Jew from Germany who survived the Holocaust brainwashed him to believe that all Christians are the most evil and hateful people on the planet and will kill a Jew whenever given the chance. Sam quickly rose to be a tolerant racist (only against Christians) and made his hate for Catholicism known in drawings and disgusting poems, he also made a few short films with his mothers video camera, where he acted out dong twisted sick things to Jesus and the pope.

DeadNiggerStorage

The Mraovich family business in Ohio.

When Sam became eight, his father forced him to work in the family business. He was a slow learner and found it difficult to chop through bone and dispose of decomposing afro-American bodies properly. He decided to go into the media side of the business and he made advertisements for the business that he posted round the town. Such places were the police stations, schools, night clubs and the KKK club house where niggers are usually murdered. The posters were noted for there detailed depictions of the dead niggers in the storage area. Even though the Golden age had passed, the Dead Nigger Storage Business was booming in the late seventies, and the most common and recognized of the customers were the friendly Ohio police officers.

Sam got the business up and running better than his parents had and made them a lot of money, enough to send him and his siblings into private education whilst his parents spent most of the time in Miami & Bannock. By 1980 they opened up sister branches (Austin in Texas and Dallas and the Bronx in New York.) By 1981 Sam was still the most unpopular member of the family, his parents and siblings still laughed at him and called names and he was much the expense of physical, mental and on some nights sexual abuse. He was also excused from games the family played such as monopoly and yahtzee which hurt him the most.

Elementary School and Incarceration

SamBook

Sam, in that "special place"

He was even more unpopular at school, and was the kind of kid that was even bullied by the Teachers and geeks. After his first year of school Sam hadn't made one single friend (Awwwww). This continued throughout the second year, the third year and in the fourth year, but at the beginning of the fifth grade Sam made an imaginary one he called Ben. Ben and Arth... Sam became close friends. Sam would always be having imaginary conversations and playing chess and other such two player games with him. Nobody gave a shit about Sam to relay notice this was going on. It could have been going on much longer than the fifth grade to be honest. In his final year at elementary school he was seen playing with himself in the changing rooms during recess. Which raised awareness by the teacher who caught him in the act (who gave himself a little action on the side if you know what I mean) and wrote a letter to his parents. They tossed the situation aside and just replied in the pussy as liberal way, "boys will be boys". Everything was going Ok in Sam's life, in the middle of his final year at elementary school, (apart from the horrid bullying and the sexual abuse from the gym teacher) he was caught making several offensive prank calls to Chuck Norris and seen on CCTV burning down seven Churches, Killing two Priests and one Vicar in the proses. His parents were questioned and sad they never even noticed his strange behavior, and even commented at the police station "do we even have a son called Sam?". When he turned twelve (Legal age of corporal punishment in Ohio) his parents sent him away far away. To the wasteland state, Utah!

Incarceration

Samboy

Sam was targeted for being bullied.

It was at this special place where Sam was locked up until he was cured of his disease. Which took a long time. Very long. When Sam wasn't being studied on he would be locked up in his own private room, where he red hours up on hours of movie making books, which kept him calm to the doctors pleasure. But when he was studied, the time and patience put into Sam was stressful at best and the medication he was put on retracted his deep desires from burning down churches and trolling Catholicism. When Sam turned fifteen, instead of being forgotten about like most of the other mentalists his parents picked him up and took him home (The Dead Nigger Storage went out of business in 1988, no body was killing Niggers any more not even other Niggers. His parents needed all the child support cash they could get to fund their newly found drug addiction). Sam was officially legally released from the Asylum after seven years of careful treatment (In case your an idiot the year is now 1989) and joined his local High school just as the new term was beginning. Unfortunately, Sam once again sent out a bad Impression, but thanks to the cliche rules of High School he had one fat lesbian friend called Mildred through out his entire time there.

His first gay experience with another human was in late December of 1990 with an unknown boy. Sam connected well with this other boy and was the first person he really felt he connected with. To Sam's dismay this boy was shot dead by a homophobic Christian in mid 1991 ending his first, and to date only, sexual partner. The shooter was never caught but there seems to be a subliminal message in his film Ben & Arthur that reveals the killer was a fictional character.

High School Musical

SamGlittery

Sam prepares to sing in the school canteen.

SamBefore

Sam was doing the "After" side of a Before and After poster, he was moved in the "Before" spot.

It was in high school that Sam started to show interest in George Michael and showed funny behaviour. He had very little friends, well he did have one huge fat friend called Mildred but spelt "Mildread". He had extremely poor grades and was moved in to the underdeveloped class for retards. Or to be more liberal the "very, very Special class" for "very special boys and girls." You know, the kids that eat grass and constantly smile. Even with the help from Special Education he still couldn't work out what comes after the number 10, he couldn't progress through the alphabet after "A, B, C" and failed his report on why the dish did indeed find it necessary to run away with the spoon.

None the less he slowly became a greasy, spotty teenager (it was unnaturally greasy, and we MEAN unnaturally, imagine lube covering his entire body, yeah like that) and after seeing Scarface for the first time he decided he wanted to be an actor, NOT be an actor and be good at it, just, be an actor. Sam was the first to audition for the school play, Romeo and Juliet where he went for the main roll. Although this would become Sam's début on the stage, he had years worth of experience of dancing and performing. At least several times before Sam had broken out in song in the School canteen and jumped up and down the place singing about pointless teenage problems and feelings. He had even made the rest of the school join in with the song and the strangely choreographed dancing. Sam may not have got the main roll but he was given the roll as Mercutio, but throughout the rehearsals his part was dropped to a lesser roll over and over until he gained a spot as tree number four and a very special job as curtain puller, or as he put it "Chief Curtain Supervisor" where he believed he had the authority to tell the other actors what to do. He was thrown off curtain duty and from the play after several complaints were made by other students.

School Memories

People look back on their school photos and laugh at the good times. Sam looks back on this and cry's himself to sleep

After the play Sam developed a taste to glittery hats and tight clothing and it was when his egotistic problems started to come out. Like everyone in Sam's position he was bullied. But IT WAS Sam, he was bullied towards suicide, but unfortunately for the world of cinema he never attempted it. Sam was never involved with the school functions or parties and at a particular Christmas party he and Mildread were forced to leave after they were pelted with pigs blood and fish guts, the teachers responsible were suspended for a week. In the new year Mildread made some new "Lesbian" friends. Sam having no one else to socialise with hung out with "The Ming Pussy" (a clever pun on posse) as they became known. Sam wasn't entirely pleased with the group of girls he clinged on to, or as he put it "they started to hang out with me".

Unlike most people Sam didn't know what he was good at and even though it was against school policy he milked his way through and decided to take a go in everything, particularly within the media and performing arts. This meant that even though Sam could not sing, he sang, he couldn't act, yet he acted (small rolls) Sam could not film, yet he made several student films, he had no idea what the differentness were between the Romans and the Saxons, he could not tear apart Oscar Wild from Edgar Allan Poe he couldn't run, throw, swim or kick balls but insisted on trying out Gym Class anyway, but he could paint, he could paint, draw and sketch extremely well but he said Art is for douche bags. He was then bullied by all the arts students and the majority of the Douche bags that went to school. Probably worst of all was the modelling, we could say Sam is ahead of his time by saying "he is one of the first ugly persons to model" but no, he's just a fat ugly man in denial who thinks he's attractive.

Script Writing

The absolute worst thing of all, was when Sam joined script writing class in high school and began to write his first story "Ben, Arthur and Steve's Sparring Hollywood Sight Seeing Attorney's Story Of Expression" a thirty hour long story with thousands of plot holes and pointless plot elements, un-likeable characters and dialogue combined with writing and spelling at an age 3 level and very poor CGI. Thirty hours was too long for even the biggest of movie fans, Sam realised, so he cut all the plots and characters down into two individual scripts which was named "Ben & Arthur's Sight Seeing Of Hollywood" and "Attorney Steve's Sparring Expression Story" but again the script were cut down into plausible film size scripts. Sam was left with five individual scripts which became know as "Ben & Arthur" Mraovich's EPIC FAIL!"Steve's Hollywood Story" a film which is now completed but Mraovich is holding off in order to, as he say's on his so called website "rise the tension and sales". "Sparring" who actually gives a flying fuck and "The Attorney" which is so far an un-copyrighted script posted on his website wich is avalible for free viewing on the internet (Wink Wink, get what I mean Warner Bros).

He failed script writing class, his teacher told him to never, NEVER go into writing and if he ever does it will be the worst mistake he'll ever make. Sam ignored him if you look below.

Sam went under a hideous loss of hair during his final high school months and by the time he was twenty two he was almost completely bald.

Later Life and Balding

A Wart On Society

Prostitutsam

Sam at his usual spot where he was picked up by older men.

Samgutter

Attempting to play the guitar, after four hours he gave up and went back to filming.

Sam finished high School at the bottom of his class, and left with lower marks than some other classes. On his website Sam clams to have been educated at a music and arts school in Boston. But as you know if you have given the slightest shit to read the above paragraphs that he was incarcerated, and attended a low rate High School. So it is quite obvious that he's lying. But regardless, he did in fact lave high school with poor grades that would make it difficult to get a job at Burger King and unfortunately left with no friends after his one and only fat lesbian friend Mldread committed suicide (due to homophobic bullying) on the night of the school prom.

Failed Rock Star Aspirations

Sam got a cheap flat in Vermont, where he had aspirations of becoming a rock 'n roll star. He did a few favours for the local fags, and after getting some connections, he was given a knock-off version of a Fender Stratocaster. He spent an entire month listening to The Rolling Stones, David Bowie, The Clash, and N.W.A.. He was "inspired" by their music. He wrote the lyrics and composed the music to nine songs which he published under the album title Only By The Mraovich. The songs, in order, were "Woke Up This Mraovich", a song about waking up and realising something has happened thus making the day a struggle. "Smells Like Mraovich Spirit", I don't think anyone quite knows what this song is actually about. "Mraovich Calling", a song about Sam calling people on the phone and pranking them. "The Importance Of Being Mraovich", in this song Sam explains to the listener why he is the best and why it is important to be him. "When You Were Young Mraovich", a song about Sam thinking back to his childhood when a tornado started spinning and a man who looked nothing like Jesus. "Nuthin' But A Mraovich Thang", Sam raps about things and this and that and the struggle of every day life in the "Ghetto". "Smoke On The Mraovich", Sam slurs about a hotel and things burning down. "I Heard It Through the Mraovich" Sam talks about how he heard some commotion through a Mraovich (it isn't explained what it is in the song) and finally "Don't Stop Believing (In Sam Mraovich)" A song where Sam urges you to don't stop believing in him. And he also mentions a city boy and a small town boy taking trains to a place called anywhere. When Sam came to write the chords he found the guitar an un-playable instrument and wrote in his diary that the guitar is unconquerable and must be an instrument for the highly intelligent. He sold the guitar and returned home with the 18 dollars he got for the guitar.

Mraovich moved back to his parents' house, where he started to leech off of them and got into the popular American sport, World of Warcraft. Due to the excessive hours he spent on this game, he started to suffer from acne, weight gain, and a condition known as Warcraft's Wrist. Sam had it very easy, leeching off of his parents until his mother took an overdose on the popular brand of weed called Pineapple Express. His father blamed Sam for not saving her and, after the funeral, became an alcoholic. Not the asshole kind, but the funny kind that you can taunt, rob, hurt and take the piss out of to his face 'cause he's too pissed to do anything now, and too pissed to even remember what happened when if he sobers up.

Rent Boy :P

Sam's dad became to distraught over his wise's death and kicked Sam out the house blaming him for all that's wrong in his life cured his name and wished him dead. Sam found a park bench to live on until he found the locals insults to unbearable. Sam was able to find a job that was also his sexual preference, he went to the closest heavily wooded aria where he sold hiss ass to older men. Over the next year its safe to say he made a decent living as a rent boy.

Word of Sam spread throughout the gay community like cancer in a Brest and he eventually got V.I.P. visitors such as local cult leader Fred Phelps paying him handsomely for a game of hide the sausage. Sam's ass may have been in similar if not greater with than the channel tunnel but he continued to work as a rent boy until he had enough money to buy a home and find his destiny.

With the new life he was living Sam was able to enjoy himself a lot more, to his fathers dismay. Sam's ego once again took over his fragile little mind and he thought he could make it in life as a rock star (he got the idea when he found his album "Only By The Mraovich" when packing his things), shortly after finding it very difficult to hit the Em chord he gave up. Although after earning enough money from whoring himself to older men during spring break, he packed his bags and moved to Hollywood California (To his fathers joy) and moved to an apartment which would become the location for 90% of the film Ben & Arthur.

Career

In 1998 Sam moved to Hollywood and was instantly sent to work in the nearest KFC. It wasn't until three years after selling murdered chickens and cleaning the floor (for idiots the year is now 2001) that Sam's "magnificence" was recognised. A "movie" producer accidentally walked into the Kentucky Fried Chicken Sam was working at believing it to be the location of his latest film. Sam got (started to pester him until he finally gave in and listened to what Sam had to say) talking to the "Movie" producer and handed him his script, which he carried on him at all times, entitled 'Sam Mraovich, Why I am great, sexy and a good singer'. The "Movie" producer was so astonished (text sucks at sarcasm) by the script, that after reading it he went blind and immediately gave Sam all the money he needed to make the film.

The film took twenty hours to film and was completed over a six week period. It was an utter disaster. The entire film had been shot without the lens cap being taken of, but the camera microphone had been turned on, which was rather funny because it still won best film at all the independent film festivals that year. All the recently graduated left-wing hippy critical dickheads were so smashed of their face that they thaught it heled some sort of hidden messege about blnd people, Sam won by a fluke, but now his name was out there.


Ugly award in 2001 Sam Mraovich was voted ugliest man alive by a poll that the entire world voted on which makes sense in your whole life honeslt have you seen a Uglier man.


Move Deal with Culture Q Connections

CultureQ

The logo of C.Q.C, it cost near to nothing to design

A film company, who were very close to going out of business, wanted Sam to make a film for them to put them back into the spotlight. At an interview with the company executive (Yes... we only have one) Sam was mistaken for a simpleton who had mistakenly wondered in of the street. But everything was settled over cookies and a warm cup of Joe. They asked him to write them a screen play that would be worth making into a movie. These guys over at Culture Q Connections (They don't exist anymore) tell told people how it is how it was. Sam was given one of the companies slaves Mexicans hard workers, Pablo, to assist him with whatever he needed.

Of all the ninety-four scripts Sam had written, over the previous years, he didn't like any of them. Sam dug out the scripts he had written in high School and went through a delicate proses of choosing[1] which script to show to the film company. After the delicate posses of choosing the script Sam had picked the first one he had written "Ben & Arthur". The next time they met up, Sam and the executive, Sam gave the screen play to the executive to give to the company boss. Sam was told he will be contacted with inn one week. Around two weeks later Sam was called by the company boss asking for the screen play, Sam explained to him that he had given the screen play to his executive. After a few phone calls and just a few broken legs it turned out the executive had left it on the bosses desk early in the morning before the boss had arrived to work. But when the boss saw it he had mistaken it for a pile of toilet paper, used toilet paper to be precise. There were no worries though, Sam had a copy and presented it the next day.

A month passed and Sam had just about given up and was ready to start working the corners again when at the very last minute (believe us 100% when we say VERY LAST MINUTE) Sam got the call from the company boss. The boss explained to him that the company is now in dept and the only way they can possibly get out of dept is to make a box office hit. The boss and everyone had faith in Sam to turn "Ben & Arthur" into the film they needed. But if the film is a world wide failure than the company will be bankrupt, go out of business and everyone who works there will be owend by the Bank of America and Fox.

No pressure drop ahy Sam?

Ben & Arthur

Pre Filming

Ben&Arthur

The cover of Ben and Arthur. The attractive cover and eye catching design has been regarded as a cheap feeble attempt as a way to make people watch the film.

Tryingtobecool

Sam before the filming of Ben & Arthur, notice the facial hair? That's Sam trying to be cool.

He was given the go ahead by CQC, Sam was ready to go out into the world and make his very own first movie. He had the so called script, his VX2000 dgital camera with a collection of video tapes, his Mexican assistant Pablo and he bought over his unemployed brother Chris and sister Holly to do the things most befitting them. Sam turned his apartment into the set of Ben and Arthur by decorating the walls with pastel paintings drawn by a five year old. He baught a computer of unknown origin, that could only just about cope to run on windows 97. He built the set for the church out of cardboard and shuger paper, and topped it off with a stolen picture of Jesus painted by Stevie Wonder. Sam also rented a red car that of which the ex-owner was Paris Hilton (which earned him a place in her ex-sexual partners list) now all Sam needed was a team of actors.

Sam wanted to find the best possible people and actors to star in the film, and he managed to find a cast to rival the best of Hollywood. Sam employed the following actors. One went by the name of Jamie Brett Gabel, who plays Ben, was first approached by Sam as he urinated in the street. Sam offered the ex-professional tennis player a role in his film for $50.00 Jamie refused and punched him n the face. Sam continued to send him letters until Jamie accepted to do the film if Sam would never contact him again after it was over. Michael Haboush a Gay T.V. presenter was given the role of Victor, Haboush had already had experience in a few low budget movies and had also had a few encounters with Sam before.

Bill Hindley, an exp-paedophile and Vicar was given the part because in the auditions he improvised with the "Your banned from church because of your gay brother" scene, Sam loved it and put it into the script. Otto Brezina, a Grammy award winning actor and major pot head, who just happened to be passing by was given the part as the Priest.(notice how you know all these actors and can find so much about them on google (again, I wish to say how crap text is at sarcasm)) Loretta Altman, who plays Ben & Arthur's lesbian neighbour, who s actually a lesbian neighbour of Sam in real life. Julie Belknap a woman who is as crazy as her hair. Richard Hitchcock (No relation to you know who) and Gina Aguilar, an actual lawyer who can't act.


It is believed Sam found these actors by one of three scenarios.
One: He blackmailed most of these people with the life of a loved one or some very embarrassing photographs. Sam would have held onto these close objects until they did what he wanted them to like the real Hollywood does.
Two: He locked them up in his cupboard and gave them a daily dose of random pills which kept them calm and quiet, if this scenario is true it would probably explain why the acting is so stale and dry.
Three: He found them on the street and asked them if they want to be movie stars... oh, just like the real Hollywood lol.

Upon beginning the production of the film Sam saw that the budget was in jeopardy and decided that it was better to give people multiple jobs instead of hiring trained and qualified processionals. Before giving everyone else their second jobs, Sam decided to give himself the jobs he thought he was most qualified for which were...

  • Lead actor, actor, background actor, supporting actor, cameo appearance,
  • Assistant director, director, casting director,
  • Composer, song writer, singer, assistant singer (Backing vocals)
  • Writer, assistant writer, script writer, script supervisor,
  • Light operator, assistant light operator,
  • Assistant producer, producer, executive producer,
  • Assistant editor, editor, chief editor, Camera operator,
  • Assistant to everyone, assistant to assistant of everyone, the guy who cleans up afterwards, the guy who holds the clipboard and runs around in circles and the guy who gets the drinks.

But Sam still taught he wasn't doing enough for his first project and was close to telling everyone else (this was all the actors, a Mexican and his siblings Chris and Holly Mraovich) to piss off. But Sam felt it a bit to weird thanking only himself at the Oscar awards, so he decided to keep the team on. But under the minimum wage, he wanted to save as much as he could for the set of the church.

Filming

ArthurSails

Sam "Acting" in the "film" Ben and Arthur... holy shit that manic stare is creeping me the fuck out!

Ben on a typical day

Jamie Brett Gable's thought's on a typical day of filming

Filming began in early August and Sam's plan was to shoot the film from start to finish in linear order but his Mexican assistant Pablo recomended filming what they could when they could so the best way is in none-linear. So Sam constructed a plan to film the movie backwards. After shooting the final scene, evidently beeing the first scene to be filmed, his Mexican assistant agian told him, that shooting the film backwards "literally" wasn't what he had in mind and that it is neither linear or none-linear just stupid.
VictorB&A

A very happy Victor played by Michael Haboush

Stoned Priest

Otto, completely smashed out of his head on cheap weed

So regardless to the footage of the final film having to be scraped, filming continues a week later at the start of September 2002. The first part of the film to be completed was the first part of the film, truthfully Sam had no idea what linear or none-linear meant so he ignored his Mexican assistant, Pablo, and filmed it in the order the screen play went. After the filming of the first few scenes, everything was going swimmingly until Sam realised it has been filmed with the lens cap on the camera, so he went back and did it all over again.
FartherRabid

Real life Priest and Ex-Paedophile plays Farther Rabin

Tammy

Cousin It from The Adams family was given the roll of Tammy

Eventually the time came back round when needed to film at the local diner. He was originally going to film at a Wendy's branch but missed the filming date due to a fall out with Jamie Brett Gable, whom Sam taught could play any sort of instruments and drive a motorcycle, but he couldn't do any. Sam was furious and the script needed some heavy alteration. I.E. Ben can still do all of those things we just never see him playing an instrument... or riding his motorbike.


So the six minuet scene where two customers completely disappear with no explanation was filmed in one hour twenty minuets, it was here Sam had his overweight racist homophobic lesbian neighbour play Arthur's overweight racist homophobic lesbian neighbour. But some credit has to go to Sam for finding a way to fit her on screen. The filming crew were interrupted numerous times by the owner whom wanted to close the diner for the weekend, although he was happy his place was the setting for part of a "movie" he could not stand being in the same room let alone the same building as Sam Mraovich, whom he referenced to on countless occasions as "A balding tatty piece of shit." The proprietor of the dine also made an appearance as customer number 2 who, just like customer number 1 sitting behind him disappears from the set for reasons unknown. Believe us its fucking weird [2]

Mraovich filled some bits in-between with close ups of him, mid shots of him, establishing shots of him, a dance scene of him and a scene where he applies for jobs and for some reason an apartment. Then he dances, out of nowhere he films a job interview in some twat's basement and decides to dance like a complete and utter prick. For an example just look at the pictures above where he's in the sparkly costume, it's kind of like that cept without the sparkly costume.

The firs scene with Michael Haboush who plays Victor was filmed on the same night. For a character claiming to be a devoted Christian and straight he doesn't necessarily pull it of 100%, his physical appearance, tight tank tops, hair style and tattoos don't support it either. But Michael Haboush does do a good job playing a twat, Victor's views on homosexuality make Fred Phelps look like a supporter on gay rights. Any how, Sam bought in a lawyer who can't act, and did her scene's. After her small bit was done, Sam, for some reason Sam decided to film a shot of a plane landing in L.A. for a scene in the film when the characters go to Vermont.

After the wedding scene, set in Vermont filmed in down town Los Angles, the camera broke. Sam made an attempt at mending it himself but only made it worse. Sam ordered his Mexican assistant, Pablo, to fix it. He took it away and came back with it fixed, looking as god as new. Sam was able to rent a prop gun from a professional company (that gives gun props out to the real movie makers) and filmed the scene where his attorney is killed by victor. Instead of changing location, he filmed the scene at the same place as victors apartment. Pablo, his Mexican assistant told him of continuity. Sam has a prissy-fit and got his own way.

Final Filming Stages

Shit Church

The so called "set" the the interior of the church. WTF! is that a picture of Jesus!

The filming after that went to a scene set in a church, Sam was forbidden to film in any local church's and so he made a se of a church entirely out of cardboard, including a picture of the Christian prophet painted by a retard, probably Sam. These scenes included Ralf Harris whom is a priest in real life, ex-paedophile and good friend to Fred Phelps. The filming continued for a further eight days until the last scene had to be filmed.

To date, Ben & Arthur is Sam's only on screen appearance, this is not inclueding an episode of Family Fortunes where he was audience member number 61, and with very good reason. The company were placed in more dept with replacing cameras, becouse

Joplin, Mozart, Vermont, L.A., Fed-Ex, Alaska Airlines, The Vatican and C-Q-C Lawsuit Against Mraovich

In January of 2003 the film was released to "Epic Fail!" reviews. Sales were worse, on it's opening weekend it only managed to sell four, three of which were returned to the gas station they were purchased at. In the first week four copies were bought and also returned along with the other copy bought in the opening weekend. In the first month of the DVD release it hit the Blockbuster shelves and only two copies were sold with "NO REFUNDS" written in big red letters. To date (2007) it gained Sam $40,000. That is your money going into his pocket... DON'T BUY BEN AND ARTHUR JUST WATCH IT FOR FREE HERE!!![3]

Anyway, back on track. The film was found to have numerous copyright allegations within the soundtrack, establishing shots and basic background images in some scenes. The first was the song "The Entertainer" by Scott Joplin which was used on the opening credits. Sam filled out a form to have the copyright but sent the letter to the wrong address. The letter ended up being delivered at COPY-RIGHTS a printing company for movie posters and there fore Sam was never given the rights. For the closing credits he used one of Mozart's songs. He had the song as a ring tone on his Russian mobile phone (that's why it sounds so crap and tacky in the film) again he sent the letter for the copy-rights to the same place, but wrong company. Sam also sent letters into COPY-RIGHTS for Alaska Airlines and Fed-Ex logos to appear in the film and a large assortment of stores and food chains that show up in the background of some scenes. He was sued a total of 4.6 Million dollars for copy right infringement.

Worst of all was the portrayal of Christians n the film. The Vatican was disgusted with the assumption that Christian men are homosexual. The pope put a hit on Sam, but it was unfortunately called of for unknown reasons, the Vatican settled to sue him for 100 million.

The state of Vermont filed a lawsuit against him for a false portrayal of the state. In one scene, also the one where the Alaska Airlines appears, the scenery is littered with tropical plants and palm trees. The people of Vermont were discussed when they saw it on youtube. They sued him for 50 million. But over all those were nothing to Culture-Q-Connections' court hearing. Printed on the contract Sam signed when he first joined them was a line much much smaller than the rest. He had signed a contract to give them 90% of the profits the film made, and that he would pay them 4.3 billion if the film failed. After five months... everyone won there lawsuit against Mraovich.

Critical Response

Ben&Arthurshit

A more accepted version of the DVD cover.

Upon the release of Ben & Arthur 99.99.95% of critics (as the cunts at wikipedia would say) gave it a universal panning and overwhelming negative reviews. Most professional critics simply put a picture of a piece of shit where the review should have been because, to be honest the film isn't actually worth an opinion. It was the first time in history when the world accepted that a "one star" rating is not low enough for some movies. Of all the reviews the majority gave it one star to be original, some cool critics gave it half a star and overweight American virgin internet youtube vloggers gave it the new age no star rating. Just a staggering 0.05% of all critics gave the film a good review. The 0.03% critics that gave it a good review were local L.A. news paper reporters Sam did a favour for, but they still had the decency and human compassion to give it a three star rating. The other 0.02% of the reviews can be found on Imdb, that of which were written [4] by Sam himself... Pathetic! Absolutely dam right pathetic!

Some of the funniest and best comments about this film can be found on youtube, although most of the comments are aimed directly at Sam Mraovich (and are a tad insulting and sometimes praise Jamie Brett Gable) rather than the film. Here is a small taste...

  • It's almost like Sam intentionally went out and found the ugliest people in LA to be in this thing. Jamie Brett is the only exception of course.
  • Holy shit it's hard to believe this is an actual movie! Everything looks so terrible and cut together with no real style or pace at all, this film looks absolutely horrible.
  • This is hilariously bad! I thought some of the imdb reviews were being a bit over the top perhaps, but they're right, this movie sucks! This is funny though i'm howling with laughter!
  • what the fuck!
  • I've changed my mind; this movie was robbed of one Oscar; Jamie Brett should get an Oscar for best actor; I mean it is an incredible job of acting to kiss someone who looks, acts, and smells like Sam Mraovich without puking, coughing, gagging, and quitting the movie. I mean that's what acting IS: making a fictional story seem real, right?
  • Sam Mraovich couldn't hit water if he fell out of a fucking boat. This guy screws up everything he ever tries or thinks he can do.
  • Sam is the only one who does a shower scene, only one to get naked, and only one to try to have sex more than once in this movie; Does this retarded fat fuck ever look in the mirror???
  • I love this. its so terribly funny. isnt it great what a two year old child can do with a handwritten script and a camera these days??? lol(Aimed at Mraovich)
  • This film is an insult to religion, homosexuality, and my intelligence.
  • I'd rather jerk off with a cheese shredder than watch that fat ass white whale get naked again.

Underrated Ben & Arthur Reviews

Not all critics were going to go for the A'la Shit review, some believed the film's utter shitness needed to be known amongst the world. Unfortunately these reviews were not widely known or acknowledged. But thanks to our team of researchers we were able to get three, or four if you count the one done by Mraovich himself. (Can you spot which one?)


Crystal Bahl Of the Daily Growl.


Cquote1 "Oh my GOD. I bought this movie and...I...watched...the...whole...thing.! I was going to eat something after the movie but I just can't seem to get up the courage to try and hold any food down at the moment. Bad? Yes VERY bad. Wait, bad doesn't seem to get the message across in quite the right way. Hmm... FUCKING SHIT... no... There isn't a word to describe just how awful.... not awful... disgustingly horribly cast-acted-filmed-directed-written. Now I don't know what to do but throw it out. Possibly burn it. The worst movie ever since Godfather Part 3." Cquote2

—Crystal Bahl


Mr. Si Chavmo of New York Times The Times Today's Paper

Cquote1 "You will disapinted if you wah this film, it was very bad and i do not no how to discrobe it. that means it is beyond owrds and is imposible to tell you wat it was like to wach. You will want youre money bak if you buy the divd! i now i did. please do not get this it is very very vrey veryy badd. it makes no scense, the film is full ov plot holls and eloments that have no nead to be inn the film. The werst part waz wear they purtray gernolsts to be vey bad at riting articals and stuff in the start." Cquote2

—Mr. Si Chavmo


Dermot Orly of The Pun (Not an actual Pun on The Sun, it stands for Pensioners United News)

Cquote1 "Your first clue that this is a cheesy movie is that it was shot on video, not film. The story is convoluted, and the production is amazingly sloppy. Note, for example, that when the title couple are on a plane ostensibly landing in Vermont, where they've gone to celebrate their relationship in a civil union ceremony, the plane is shown coming into an airport surrounded by palm trees. Their ceremony - in Vermont - takes place in a garden of tropical plants, including palms, which wouldn't last five minutes in the New England climate. On yet another airplane trip, the establishing shot depicts a FedEx cargo plane taking off. Presumably they could only afford to travel in steerage. As for the plot, this movie expects you to believe that Victor, the devoutly Christian brother of Arthur, is a straight man, when it is quite obvious that he's a screaming faggot. Not only that, but the pastor of a church eventually sets Victor up with a hit man to have Ben and Arthur killed "to purge their souls of sin." Apparently no one in this church has ever heard of the Ten Commandments. Were it not for Jamie Brett Gabel, who is surprisingly effective as Ben, this movie would have no redeeming qualities at all." Cquote2

—Dermot Orly


Anonymous Of Anonymous

Cquote1 "(Sigh)! Ben and Arthur. Where do I begin? Just what is it about this classic that never fails to give a life changing experience every time you view it? The Oscar worthy script? The heart wrenching performances? The glorious cinematography? And talk about hot guys! Ben and Arthur, the star crossed lovers, not only play their parts so dramatically they put Charlton Heston and Marlon Brando to shame, but they are not hard on the eyes either! The tear jerking storyline ends of course in inevitable tragedy. You'll need tissues for this movie. Might not want to let your kids see it either. Our hero, the dashing Arthur Sailes, is murdered by his own brother, before our very eyes! May as well just grab the whole box of tissues. To make a long story short, this movie is a breathtaker." Cquote2

—Gee I wonder who wrote this...

Later Life and Legacy

The response to Ben and Arthur had put his career to a full stop and put Culture Q Connections out of business permanently. He lost contact with all the cast and crew who had gone into hiding, but Pablo stayed by his side, not because he wanted to but because he knew Sam would die if he left. But after a fall-out over what toppings would go on a pizza they ordered from Pizza Planet one night, Sam wanted to have anchovies which when ordered on a pizza a free toy came with the meal. However Pablo wanted peppers which when ordered on pizza came with a free drink. The situation was never resolved and almost ended up with Sam throwing another hissy-fit. Sam and Pablo's relationship reached boiling point a day later when Sam accidentally killed Pablo's mule involving an industrial shredder a carrot and a misunderstanding of common-sense. Finally only a week after the 'Pizza Incident' Pablo had enough, cursed Sam and moved back to Mexico after Sam accused him of being the main reason Ben & Arthur failed. Sam lived alone for most of 2003. Due to becoming bankrupt he went back to his old career as a rent boy. In mid August he caught an S.T.D and this day Sam still remains H.I.V Possessive. But regardless of some good news Sam fell into a spiral of self hatred, depression, drug and alcohol addiction and mental illness. Film making had been his dream, but he now knew there was no way he could ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever get back in to the business. He was taken, by his father, to the special place he had been during his childhood and was examined once again. The results were kept secret but he was given a large amount of drugs, mostly a combination of Cyanide, Heroin and Strychnine to keep sane and from committing self harm.

One year on after the reaction at Ben & Arthur died down Sam attempted at making several short films which he later entered into the Oscars race. The films were not only spat on but thrown away and din't even get passed the entries. Sam retrieved the films and posted them on youtube in 2007 where they were critically panned and trolled to a discussing (but funny) extent. These films included an animated sequence of a screen saver called "Expression" a Soviet Union cartoon about a comet hitting the earth and a short live action "comedy" about a guy calling his high school friends. Can you see why they never made it through to the Oscars.

A big break came through for Sam when he won $100,000,000 on a lottery scratch card, unfortunately all the money had to be divided equally between all the people and places that sued him over Ben & Arthur. He may have just lost a lot of money, but Sam felt a small celebration was in order. Sam went under his bed and pulled out all of the old screen plays he had written he pulled one out at random and picked up "Steve's Hollywood Story" and he went to work on it immediately. He worked excessively on the gay-for-pay scene for two years straight, and gained enough to fund his next "film".

There has been no sight of his new film "Steve's Hollywood Story" but there has been much chatter on the net. There is updates all the time on when it's going to be released on when it was and how it was made. Honestly no one could give a flying fuck, over all people just want to see it so we can troll it to death.

IMDb Bottom 100

there is a campaign still in progress to get Ben and Arthur to the no one spot n the bottom 100 on IMDb's website. (more information on this as it develops)

You Tube

Ben & Arthur has now since late 2006/07 become an internet meme thanks to the holy god rnigma, al hail rnigma. The film was uploaded into 11 separate parts on Youtube, and was viewed by the many people who saw the film neatly placed on IMDb's bottom 100. Many more people who saw the film in various amateur or professional "worst films of all time" countdowns saw the film as well. The film has gained a cult status on youtube as it is always trolled and spat upon by a large group of the same people. But regardless of pointing out many bad elements of the film (continuity errors (mostly committed by Sam) extremely bad acting (mostly committed by Sam) and painfully awful story line plot hole's, committed by Sam) for future first time viewers to look up on, "lol" at and thumb up the comment, they do have hilarious insults aimed at Sam, not because of what he does in the film. But of what he did in mid 2009 to late 2010.

Sam's Comments

A selection of the comments posted directly to or about Sam.

(To see any of these comments go to any Ben & Arthur videos and look at past comments) Sam found out that the film was on youtube. Apparently he welcomed people to watch the film and was happy to see it had so many views, he opened his arms to any one who had any Q&A on the film and was more than happy to reply. With inn the next 24 hours the comment had been given a record breaking -37 thumbs down and with over ten replies to the comment calling Sam all names under the sun.

Over the next months a huge argumental war broke out between the user SamMraovich09 and all the Ben & Arthur haters. Sam insulted everyone he could, constantly bitched at people and always referred to Ben & Arthur as a great work of are "for what he had". Nether the less, Sam went to far one day and made a comment which almost got him taken of youtube altogether. It was a comment referring to Vermont, Catholics, Blacks and Straight people. Since the comment was posted he has not been back.

But he did come back under the new name SMraovich. On this channel he posted videos which were all linked up as a step by step programme on screen-play writing. The videos were panned by thousands of people, some were just insulted by the fact Sam had chosen to make a video on screen play writing. The videos are still available.

Death

GRID[5].

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