Sailor Moon

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[[Image:Sailor_Moon_not_Uranus.jpeg‎|r500px|right|thumb|The main character.]]
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{{Infobox television
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| show_name=Sailor Moon
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| image=[[Image:Sailor moon title.jpg|240px]]
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| caption=All of them are hot, it's hard to [[Prostitute|choose one]].
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| format=[[Anime]]
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| genre=<s>Action</s>-adventure<br />Softcore [[pornography]]
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| creator=Naoko Takeuchi
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| voices=Miscast [[French]]-[[Canadian]] actresses
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| opentheme="The One Named Sailor Moon"{{small|, performed by Puffy AmiYumi}}
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| network=[[Cartoon Network]] (Toonami)
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| executive_producer=Andy Heyward<br />[[4Kids|Al Khan]]
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| company=Toei Animation<br />[[Dick|DiC Entertainment]] {{small|(1998–99)}}<br />Cloverfield Inc. {{small|(2000–02)}}<br />Optimus Productions
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| location=Tokyo, Japan
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| country=[[Japan]]
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| language=[[English language|English]]<br />[[Japanese|Japanese]]
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| num_seasons=<s>5</s> 4
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| num_episodes=<s>200</s> <s>166</s> 159
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| runtime=22 minutes
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| first_aired=June 1, 1998
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| last_aired=July 5, 2002
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| preceded_by=''Cutie Honey''
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| followed_by=''Magic Madoka''
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| related=''[[Japanese TV series centered around battles where powerful creatures are summoned using some small object that usually has a real-life equivalent of these battles in the form of a game, except in real life, you don't actually get to summon any creatures]]''
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|}}
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'''''Sailor Moon''''' is a [[1990s|'90s]] [[animu|anime]] that aired on [[Cartoon Network]]'s otherwise-testosterone-addled block Toonami. The story revolves around ditzy schoolgirl Usagi Tsukino, who wins love by daylight, and fights evil by moonlight under the [[magical girl]] identity of Sailor Moon, along with her fellow Sailor Senshi (though they're pretty much useless). They battle Flaming Queen Beryl, a [[homosexual|superfiend]] who attempts to unite the three realms—Human, Beast, and Demon—and destroy the world.
   
{{wikipedia}}
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There are five seasons of ''Sailor Moon'', each of which features a new group of nutjob villains who suck at their jobs, but only four of which aired in 'Murica. As the show progresses, it gets more plot-driven and complex, but still manages to deliver the odd [[Panties|pantyshot]] on a steady basis. At the end of the series, Usagi marries the love of her life, Tuxedo Mask, and passes on her job to three [[shemale|shemales]] called the Sailor Starlights.
   
{{Q|In [[Russia|Soviet Russia]], Sailor Moons you!|[[Russian reversal]]. }}
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Through ''Sailor Moon'', creator Naoko Takeuchi brought many important [[Japan|Japanese]] cultural themes and motivations to American audiences, including [[schoolgirls]], overlong transformation sequences, consumption of toast, and enormous fire-spouting monsters destroying Tokyo. Thus, it is no surprise that the series was a worldwide hit, especially with young girls, young boys who were [[Masturbate|just hitting puberty]], and [[Pedophile|ephebophiles]].
{{Q|Ooh, I wanna see your moon.|[[Pervert|Random geek]]}}
 
{{Q|GODDAMMIT, '''I'M''' THE CHAMPION OF JUSTICE!!!|[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]}}
 
   
Sailor Moon is a manga/anime series created by Naoko Takeuchi. She is believed to be the mentor of [[Twilight (novel)|Stephanie Myers]]. Takeuchi made a cameo in Myer's dream and was originally planned to be a Twilight character. The story revolves around some whiny bitch named Usagi Tsukino (Serena in the Wild West) and her adventures using her true identity, Sailor Moon. Along the way, she meets the other Sailor Senshi (Scouts in the Space Western version), but they're pretty much useless. Se also meets the love of her life, <s>Fag</s> Tuxedo Mask.
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==Premise==
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===Plot===
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{{Wikipedia}}
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''Sailor Moon'' centers on Usagi Tsukino, a whiny teenage schoolgirl living in [[Tokyo]]. One day, Usagi meets Luna, a talking [[Roadkill|black cat]] who tells her that she is really Sailor Moon, and has been recruited by the Japanese government into the Sailor Senshi magical girl program. Usagi goes to meet the other Senshi, and learns that they must protect the [[Earth]] from evil.<ref>Because, you know, girls have to save the earth. [[Superman]], eat your steel heart out.</ref> Each Sailor Senshi is named after a planetary body; for example: Sailor Moon (the [[Moon]]), Sailor Mercury ([[Mercury]]), and Sailor GX-42356 (the newly discovered moon orbiting Earth).
   
Sailor Moon is the leader of the Sailor Senshi. The plot starts out with young Usagi going to school one day when she sees a <s>roadkill</s> black cat named Luna with a crescent moon on her head. She tells Usagi that she is really Sailor Moon, and must protect the Earth from evil (because, you know, girls have to save the earth. [[Superman]], eat your steel heart out.) Then she meets some other Sailor Scouts in a romantic story that is WAY more complicated than AP algebra (but not enough for Mercury, of course).
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Then it delves into a story that is WAY more complicated than AP algebra. There are five main story arcs: ''Sailor Moon'', ''Sailor Moon R'', ''Sailor Moon S'', ''Sailor Moon SuperS'', and ''Sailor Stars''. There is a "Lost Arc" where the Senshi get trapped in a fighting game and are sexually abused by slime and a black floating circle. Another story follows the Senshi as they go to an island resort, which is actually a rejected idea for another manga from 30 years ago. Then there was another pointless story where some random Egyptian man demanded the Silver Crystal. And there was a long, convulsed four-musical series which blended Jewish mythology, vampires, and historic serial killers.
   
Each Sailor is named after said planetary body. For example: Sailor Moon (the Moon), Sailor Mercury (Mercury), and Sailor GX-42356 (after the newly discovered Moon orbiting Earth). They were once employed by the Japanese government under the Magical Girl program, where their mission was simple: defeat [[Emperor|the Emperor]], the [[Nazis]], Zeon, [[HAL9000]], Zaft, Bill Gates, [[Emperor Constantine|the Byzantine Empire]], the Brazilian international soccer team, hackers, vandals, 4kids, [[your mom]], {{USERLINK}}, and the Red Sox. While under this program, they met the [[Powerpuff Girls]], whom they defeated in 1999 in a dogfight. Currently, all live in the Juban district in Tokyo, Japan.
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The characters' pasts are mysterious and hidden even to them, and much of the series is devoted to them discovering their true identities and pasts. More boring than ''InuYasha''. Luna, who teaches and guides the Sailor Senshi, doesn't know <s>every</s>anything about their histories either, and the Senshi eventually learn that Usagi is the real Moon Princess. The Moon Princess' mother had her reborn as a Sailor Senshi to protect her. Gradually Usagi discovers the truth about her own past life (boring...), her destined true love (*yawn*), and the possibilities for the future of the Solar System.
 
==Basic Plot==
 
 
[[Image:Moon-Mdf-2005.jpg|right|thumb|Moon, but no sailor]]
 
 
Basically, if you're gonna watch an episode, keep this list in mind (or, if you're a geek, especially the kind who loves to go incognito on [[Google|Google Chrome]] and look at pics of the Senshi, print it out.)
 
   
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Basically, each episode follows this formula:
 
# Usagi pretty much just talks to her friends in a weird, unpunny way. Either that or she bitches about bullshit that can only be controlled by [[God]].
 
# Usagi pretty much just talks to her friends in a weird, unpunny way. Either that or she bitches about bullshit that can only be controlled by [[God]].
 
# The monster of the episode shows up and destroys the town while Usagi, completely able to peek from behind the wall, pays no attention and 1) zones out or 2) actually figures out what's going on but overlooks it while thinking about [[Sex|going on a date]] with Mamoru.
 
# The monster of the episode shows up and destroys the town while Usagi, completely able to peek from behind the wall, pays no attention and 1) zones out or 2) actually figures out what's going on but overlooks it while thinking about [[Sex|going on a date]] with Mamoru.
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# The Senshi all get themselves in trouble.
 
# Luna reminds Usagi and the others to transform into their Sailor alter egos.
 
# Luna reminds Usagi and the others to transform into their Sailor alter egos.
 
# All of the transformation scenes take minutes to occur, but because of total [[UnNews:Stupidity, new source of energy|logic]], the monsters don't try to attack or anything.
 
# All of the transformation scenes take minutes to occur, but because of total [[UnNews:Stupidity, new source of energy|logic]], the monsters don't try to attack or anything.
# The Senshi all get themselves in trouble.
 
 
# Mamoru shows up as Tuxedo Mask and saves the girls or flirts with them. He then reminds them to use their [[Shit Pie|special attack]].
 
# Mamoru shows up as Tuxedo Mask and saves the girls or flirts with them. He then reminds them to use their [[Shit Pie|special attack]].
# Sailor Moon yells out, "Moon Tiara Action"! and takes another minute to use her attack.
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# Sailor Moon yells out, "Moon Tiara Action"! or some random shit, as do the other Senshi and they take about, oh, ANOTHER FUCKING MINUTE to use their attack.
# The enemies are still waiting.........
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# The enemies are still waiting...we already forgot who they were.
# The attack finally hits. IT '''NEVER''' MISSES AND '''ALWAYS''' KILLS IN ONE HIT. (Unless you're God. Then you could have poked her with a finger and sent her dead, flaming body down to [[Hell]].)
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# The attack finally hits. IT '''NEVER''' MISSES AND '''ALWAYS''' KILLS IN ONE HIT.
# Another shameful, old 90's pun ruined by Usagi's crappy voice. End Episode.
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# Usagi makes a corny, forced '90s pun.
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# The End.
   
==The Sailor Senshi==
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===Characters===
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* '''Usagi Tsukino / Sailor Moon''' – The loud, whiny, [[Blonde|dumb blonde]] leader of the group. She's madly in love with Tuxedo Mask, who she is destined to be impregnated by to spawn Chibi Usa. In early episodes, she used her gold-plated metal tiara as a Frisbee to gruesomely decapitate enemies. Since this was too violent for a kids show, she was later given various types of magic wands.
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* '''Mamoru Chiba / Tuxedo Mask''' – A [[Sexy guy|bishounen]] in a tuxedo, Tux is always there to save Usagi and friends, but never sticks around to fulfill their lustful desires. Oddly, he's [[pedophile|attracted to a middle schooler despite being in college]]. His deadly rose attack can instantly level ten city blocks and has completely destroyed Tokyo in numerous episodes.
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* '''Ami Mizuno / Sailor Mercury''' – The smart one of the group, a dedicated computer hacker. Her attack is the weakest, since it only creates thick fog that results in multiple traffic accidents. However, her strength was demonstrated when she survived a 24-hour chess match while fully frozen, without losing a limb to frostbite.
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* '''Minako Aino / Sailor Venus''' – The self-centered, conceited valley girl of the group. Despite being [[American|blonde]], she engages in traditional activities of Japanese schoolgirls, such as selling her used panties and pleasuring her [[Furry|cat guardian]] Artemis by prancing around in her underwear.
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* '''Rei Hino / Sailor Mars''' – The [[wicca|priestess]] of the group. Aside from bitch slapping Usagi and dating her boyfriend, she likes to set things on fire. Her school uniform, notably, [[Pervert|has the shortest skirt of the group]]. She practices [[wiccan|witchcraft]], proving that she is in fact a [[White people|white person]] and not an [[Asian]].
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* '''Makoto Kino / Sailor Jupiter''' – The [[drama queen]] who's always looking for a boyfriend, only to be disappointed that he reminds her of someone she's already had sex with. The only things notable about her is that she shoots lightning, and her uniform is green, balancing out the other Senshi color-wise.
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* '''Hotaru Tomoe / Sailor Saturn''' – The goth girl of the group, Sailor Saturn is pretty much useless. She can heal wounds? Cool. She can summon mass destruction? Done that millions of times before. Dies after doing this? Fuck. She actually is the only Senshi to retain her name in the American version. She is considered the strongest Senshi (just because of her [[weapons of mass destruction|power]]), but not many people outside of Japan know about her ''or'' Pluto. That tells you a lot right there.
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* '''Haruka Tenoh / Sailor Uranus''' – The one in the group with a funny name. Contrary to popular belief, she is not [[lesbian]] in a relationship with Sailor Neptune; rather, they are [[cousins]]. Her earthquake attack made her the subject of [[CIA]] investigation following the [[9/11|collapse of the Twin Towers]].
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* '''Michiru Kaioh / Sailor Neptune''' – The [[art school]] drop-out of the group. Her attack is "the sea", apparently ignorant of the fact that Sailor Mercury had the idea first. She is a wanted war-criminal due to the numerous tsunamis caused by her attacks.
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* '''Setsuna Meioh / Sailor Pluto''' – A Senshi who didn't get much screen time due to producers denouncing her appearance as "[[too old]]", compared to the other young, sexy Sailors—and also because [[Pluto (planet)|Pluto]] isn't a damn planet anymore. She has fallen into massive depression after being demoted, and was last seen at an all-you-can-eat buffet, claiming that she's "Working on regaining her previous title."
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* '''Chibi Usa (Sailor Chibi Moon)''' – The obligatory [[loli]]. During one season of the series, she maintained a [[bestiality|healthy, romantic relationship with a horse]]. During another season we discover that, *gasp*, she is actually Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask's daughter from ''the future''!
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* '''Luna''' – A cat. A talking cat. A talking, female cat who is the ruler of the known universe. Refuses to return Garfield's phone calls. She can also take on the form of a plushie, a grown-up female human, a human girl with cat ears and a giant purple squid. Has the ability to create magical objects from her behind.
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* '''Sailor Starlights''' – Relatively minor characters, to say the least. They are [[shemales]], and each share the name Kou. For some reason, Tokyopop named them "Lights" in the magna.
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* '''Queen Beryl''' – The Queen of the Negaverse, and main villain of the first season. Notable for her and extremely long hair and long fingernails. Beryl tried to destroy Sailor Moon with her army of [[ghosts|lost souls]], but failed and went into seclusion.
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* '''Professor Tomoe''' – Leader of the Death Busters, and another villain. His daughter is Hotaru, a super [[emo]] depressed Bitch of Darkness. He is aroused by his own wicked laughter.
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* '''Sailor Galaxian''' – Galaxian used to be a Sailor Senshi, that is, until she got possessed by an evil power or something. She is a ruthless villain, possibly the biggest evil [[bitch]] in the entire series, and also the world record holder of killing the most heroes, as well as her subordinates.
   
Listed by appearance in the story. All the Senshi are named after planets (Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Mars, Sailor Tatooine, Sailor 51, Sailor Krypton, etc.)
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==American version==
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[[File:4kids from wikipedia.png|thumb|right|220px|Nudity is naughty, so DiC ensures cleanliness in ''Sailor Moon'' by having characters bathe in what appears to be blood. Because that's so much better.]]
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When ''Sailor Moon'' came over to America to be dubbed, network executives and censors ordered a lot of things to be changed or removed. These included:
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* Five episodes being deleted from the first season and two episodes being morphed into one.
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* Removal of any and all violence, especially violence towards children.<ref> There was a small blood mark on Sailor Moon's leg in the pilot episode, but it was probably near-fatal in the original Japanese version.</ref>
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* Adding a "Sailor Says" [[PSA]] at the end of each episode.
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* Making Uranus and Neptune lesbians rather than [[Love bugs|cousins]].
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* Changing names to make them sound "more American"; this was despite DiC being a French company. For example: Sailor Senshi → Sailor Scouts, Usagi Tsukino → Serena, Ami Mizuno → Amy, Rei Hino → Raye, Tuxedo Mask → The Masked Tuxedo
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* For scenes of near-nudity, such as transformation sequences or bathing, breasts were digitally erased.
   
===Sailor Moon===
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The problem with the removals? This is the stuff people ''wanted'' to see. The Japanese version was a little weird, but the Americanized version went way too far, being '90s cheesy and cliche wherever possible.
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[[Image:Sailor Moon 01.jpg|250px|right|thumb|This is Sailor Moon. Looks hot and sexy eh?]]
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==Merchandise==
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===Manga===
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''Sailor Moon'' began in 1992 as a [[manga]], originally released in 18 volumes. It was later rereleased in 12 volumes in 2011. Why? Because people wanted less bang for their [[Europe|Euros]]. Takeuchi actually went to the trouble of redrawing the whole manga to make it seem less artistic and more like it was drawn by a five-year-old.
   
'''Usagi Tsukino, a.k.a. Sailor Moon''', is the leader of the Sailor Senshi. They are called Scouts in the US.
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===Video games===
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[[Bullshit!|Video games]] based off ''Sailor Moon'' were produced. This was a '90s anime, so guess what we got? Lots and lots of [[Street Fighter 2|fighting games]], most of which were ripoffs of ''Street Fighter'', ''[[Mortal Wombat|Mortal Kombat]]'', or ''Final Fight''. But hey, you expected a ''good'' game from ''this'' kind of anime? Funny...
   
{{Q|What? I'm not a Scout! I don't go around selling popcorn or cookies, for fuck's sake!|Sailor Moon}}
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===Live-action series===
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In 1993, Rocky Solotoff, president and founder of Toon Maker Inc. had hoped to capitalize on the success of Saban Entertainment's ''[[Power Rangers]]'' by creating an American live-action/western-animated version of ''Sailor Moon''. Solotoff wrote, directed, and produced a pilot episode of his version of ''Sailor Moon'' for a company called Renaissance-Atlantic, who helped Saban [[steal|procure]] ''Super Sentai'' from Toei to create the ''Power Rangers''.
   
She Is undisputedly the loudest, whinest, and laziest girl in the entire multiverse (and let me tell you, being louder and whinier than the entirety of the female gender is no easy feat!). She cries when she has her period, cries when her grades are poor, cries when she steps in [[dog]] [[Shit nobody cares about|doodoo]], and cries when the monsters rape her (well who wouldn't?). Her grades in school are far, far, below failing. In fact, they are so low, whenever she takes a test, at least five people sitting around her also fail just by being close to her. And she is destined to save Earth from the evil? God help us all. She had a special pen that allowed her to change into the form of another person, but it was taken away after she kept transforming into Lady Gaga.
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To this day, Solotoff's version of ''Sailor Moon'' has not been exhibited publicly. Why? Because it was awful, just awful. Unfortunately, some poor soul had the strength to bootleg part of it and posted it on the Internet years later.
 
*Usagi Tsukino
 
*Sailor Moon
 
*Princess Serenity
 
*[[Yo Mama!]]
 
*Princess Sailor Moon
 
*Neo-Queen Serenity
 
*Super Sailor Moon
 
*Popeye the Sailor Moon
 
*Eternal Sailor Moon
 
 
She war arrested in 2006 for "unintentionally" stabbing a 32-year-old mother and her 6-year old son with her Moon Wand. (How could it be unintentional if you stabbed both?[[Boring|Hmm...]] [[Maybe we'll [[Undictionary:Boring|find out]] later.) She escaped because Tuxedo Mask showed up and you know what happens when he shows up. If you don't you clearly haven't been reading this article. It means you skipped directly to Sailor Moon's description because you were lured in by her [[Sexy|hotness]]. Don't deny it.
 
 
Eyewitnesses may have spotted her working at a [[Another Castle®|restaurant]] alongside [[Dilbert]]. This still needs to be verified.
 
 
===[[Sailor Mercury]]===
 
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[[Image:Sailor_Mercury_close-up.JPG|left|thumb|This is the smartest Sailor Soldier (or so they say).]]
 
 
{{Q|I actually got my ass kicked by this girl... with [[confusion|calculus problems]].|[[Chuck Norris]]}}
 
{{Q|She's also hot. Not as hot as Sailor Moon, but then again, the smart ones are never as hot.|[[Andy Samberg]]}}
 
{{Q|Twenty-five million, six hundred and fifty-four thousand, eight hundred and sixty-nine multiplied by three-hundred thousand, eight hundred and forty-six is so totally five. Why? Because my IQ is bigger than yours and I goddamn say so!|Sailor Mercury}}
 
 
'''Ami Mizuno, a.k.a. Sailor Mercury''', is believed to be the smartest person in the universe with an IQ of zero. Her main attack is pretty much useless; all it does is fog up your screen. Be prepared to face this challenge every single episode. She is a hacker at heart; as a [[Prove|matter of fact]], she defeated [[Justin Bieber]] by hacking into his [[Facebook]], [[Twitter]], and [[Myspace]] at the same time. Bieber still can't get back into his account, and Ami repeatedly posts/tweets "I'm gay and I hate girls. [[Beethoven]] is way better!"
 
 
She was a regular competitor in [[Jeopardy!|Jeopardy]], but after a terrible loss to {{USERLINK}}, she decided to play [[Wheel of Deities|Wheel of Fortune]] instead. She also defeated Anatoly Karpov to become the World Chess Champion in 1999, but was also defeated by {{USERLINK}} in 2000 and 2002 and by [[Garry Kasparov]] in 2001. She has since then retired from chess and married Usagi's younger brother, Shingo.
 
 
===Sailor Mars===
 
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[[Image:Sailor_Mars.jpeg|150px|left|thumb|The Senshi want her name changed to Sailor Pyro or Pyromaniac. Not surprising.]]
 
 
{{Q|Hello? [[Nobody|911]]? Some girl burnt down my house!|What your next phone call will be if you mess with Mars}}
 
{{Q|And when I saw that house, I thought [[Jesus Christ|Jesus]] was having a [[barbeque]]!|Witness of Mars' first house-burning.}}
 
 
'''Rei Hino, a.k.a. Sailor Mars''', is a member of the Professional Pyromaniac Priestesses International, Inc., Ltd. (PPPIil, a subsidiary of A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.S.), She used to preach at a Shinto shrine before it "for some reason" burnt down and placed a curse on her causing her to be a total hottie. She also worked at [[Burger King]] where she developed a new menu item, "The Fireburger", but it was only sold for two days before the restaurant burnt down due to excess grilling, causing a gas leak. And what happens when she uses Mars Fire Ignite? She may look cute, but you can only date her if you have blood type O. The curse allows her to sense it, and if you have blood type A, B, AB, BA, ABA, AOB, BOB, or anything but O, she'll make you spontaneously combust. Known to "accidentally" cause people to be engulfed in flames.
 
 
She has a criminal record including two counts of arson and beating up an officer. No kidding, eh? She was offered membership in the [[Klu Klux Klan|KKK]], who greatly applauded her act, specifically for burning crosses. She turned this down after not only converting to Catholicism and thinking [[Black|black]] people are better but even thinking about going to [[China]] or [[Russia]] to study [[Communism]].
 
 
In a 1993 poll, Sailor Mars placed sixth most popular. She would have clinched third had she not burnt down most of the polled people's houses because they voted for Jupiter instead, JUST because of her breasts.
 
 
===Sailor Jupiter===
 
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[[Image:SailorJupiter.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Sailor Jupiter, the big breasted one of all Sailor Senshi.]]
 
 
{{Q|One word: HAWT.|[[n00b]] on Sailor Jupiter}}
 
 
'''Makoto Kino, a.k.a.w.h.a.t.e.v.e.r. Sailor Jupiter''' is, put simply, the HOTTEST SAILOR SCOUT EVER! She has a lot of talent. And by talent we mean [[Boobs|boobies]]. Every normal person just wants to go out with her, <s>maybe even fuck her,</s> and have tried to many times in the past. Those people, however, got bitch slapped so hard in the face... [[Give up|you can't do it]]. Besides, she's way too tall. Even [[Goliath]] would be scared of her. She's a bitch, but let me tell you, don't fuck with her. Sailor Jupiter was originally just another regular lady wrestler (aged 15 under the name of Makoto Kino), until she got banned for life for [[Masturbation|unknown reasons]]. She then went back to her home town of Tokyo to continue her education. There she met a girl whose cat gave her a magical stick to transform into who she is today. She had a mean look, annoying voice (although you couldn't comment on it unless you were [[Beavis and Butthead|Beavis, Butthead]], Moe, or God), and a gold belt in karate, but her dojo was closed when she put floral prints on the walls. Oh yeah, and remember how Mercury fogged up your screen (given you were actually reading the article)? Well, watch out. If Sailor Jupiter so much as uses her electric attack, you're screwed. Keep a towel with you at all times near your computer.
 
 
She's what you would call 'lightning hot".
 
 
'''''Note: Scientists believe her boobs gained 2 sizes during her first transformation. They also found that staring at a picture of her for over 15 seconds will produce a boner.'''''
 
 
===Sailor Venus===
 
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[[Image:SailorVenus.jpg|thumb|left|Sailor Venus, not to be confused with Sailor Moon]]
 
 
{{Q|...|[[Perv]] staring at Venus}}
 
{{Q|I wish I could bang a hot blonde chick like her!|[[Marriage|Married man]]}}
 
{{Q|I brought her into the world to bring love and peace. Totally done did the opposite. Dammit, that bitch didn't do that!|Whoever the fuck brought her into this world}}
 
 
'''Minako Aino, a.k.a.l.o.l. Sailor Venus''' can easily be described: she's so self-centered and conceited, she thinks everything about her is cute, naturally. She's the cutest Senshi of them all, naturally. She can probably kick your ass, naturally. She was originally an [[Formula One|F1]] driver, having a short career with only a 1994 British Grand Prix win, a 1994 Belgian Grand Prix pole, and . Her career ended when she crashed at Whatever Circuit in Suzuka, Japan, while racing head-to-head with Haruka Tenoh as practice for the Japanese GP later that day. Loss at home course. Sad...
 
 
[[Image:ferrarigrandprixchallenge.jpg|300px|thumb|right|You would never see Venus on the podium. Tenoh maybe...]]
 
 
She was brought into this world by [[God|Allah]] or [[Buddha|that fat guy]] or whoever the hell it fucking was for who knows what. She was supposed to bring love into the world. [[EPIC FAIL|Wow]]. Not exactly what happened.
 
 
She is naturally confused with Sailor Moon; in fact, when they appear together, they appear to be twins. Venus, however, is considered a mere clone created by the government to pose as Moon. The attempt failed when they realized Minako is way too different. "Wait, what?" Many believe they are twins. How and why, the world will never know. She is almost as <s>dumb</s> blonde as Sailor Moon. Venus was the original Sailor Senshi created by Naoko Takeuchi for the manga Codename: Sailor V. Her editors then told hernto add more soldiers, and Sailor Moon took the lead role; that's why the two share a bitter rivalry and compete for the title of <s>dumbest</s> best blonde.
 
 
I'm sure by now you have a massive boner. If you don't, you have no comedic taste and should probably go see the [[Wikipedia]] article.
 
 
===Sailor Uranus===
 
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[[Image:Sailor_Uranus.jpeg‎|left|thumb|Sorry buddy... Doesn't look like your perfect soul mate anyway.]]
 
 
{{Q|Dammit, I wish they weren't lesbians!!!|People who read [[Playboy|magazines]]}}
 
{{Q|Man, you're referred to as ''URINE-US '''''AND''''' ''YOUR-[[Buttocks|ANUS]]!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!|Your average jerk}}
 
 
'''Haruka Tenoh, a.k.a. Sailor Uranus:''' First off, before we go on, I'd like to remind you '''NOT''' to make fun of her name, or so help you God she will [[Fighting|kick your ass]]. Anyways, the most obvious thing about the Urine-us? She's a [[Lesbian|lesbo]] who likes to fuck Sailor Neptune (below). They became one of the first lesbian couples married in Japan.
 
 
Along with Sailor Venus, Sailor Uranus is a professional F1 driver. She made her debut at a practice session for the American Grand Prix in 1994. She took Venus out of her career when she made her crash in Suzuka. See above unless you don't care. She is one of few people to defeat Michael Schumacher and Sebastian Vettel in the same season.
 
 
Don't think about asking Neptune out. Unless you're not Japanese (see Neptune below). If you're American consult Uranus. Otherwise, if you saw it in a country where they're lesbian, Uranus will kill you. [[Kill|Literally.]] Actually, see Today below. They're married already. Which will mean you're breaking the [[The Ten Commandments|sixth commandment]]. Ah, who cares, being lesbian is already bad enough. Even worse, during her first appearance she looked like a boy, meaning either bigger lesbianism AND adultery in Japan, or lesbianism and cousins and... Damn, it's just so confusing. Much, much worse is that the ''god'' (keyword here) was male! Talk about college finals being easier than cake compared to figuring this bullshit out. Sailor Uranus has been described as having "clearly masculine traits", and that she protects Usagi "as a man would a woman".
 
 
Ugh. That's just so sick.
 
 
'''''You decide: Urine-us or Your-anus? Leave your answer in the talk section. '''''
 
 
===Sailor Neptune===
 
----
 
 
[[Image:Sailorneptune.jpg‎|right|thumb|I think Poseidon was better.]]
 
 
{{Q|Would you please stop looking at my boobs? I'm lesbian, dammit!|Sailor Neptune}}
 
 
'''Michiru Kaioh, a.k.a. Lesbian Neptune''' is a lesbian who likes to fuck Sailor Uranus. She is just as conceited as Venus and will always be looking at her mirror even during combat.
 
 
Whenever she senses trouble or evil, she will say, "I sense turmoil in the sea." All her attacks are water-based, and just as useless as Mercury's. However, during the Lost Arc, the Senshi are actually able to fight (but people don't do that because they want to see a [[Slimer|slime]] (called Slime Plus) use its drill attack to cum inside the Senshi), and actually manages to defeat the perverted Kung Fu Man.
 
 
Until she gets fucked by Kuromaru, and Uranus dumps her because she, too, wants to be a [[Heterosexuality|straight]] person.
 
 
She likes to play music, especially on her cello. She once tried out for the school band but was replaced by a frog who was given a first place medal for "Best Performance" by shattering all the [[Gymnasium|gym]] windows and 55 students' eardrums. Great chance you're one of those lucky [[deaf]] people.
 
 
In the Italian dub, Uranus and Neptune were merely close friends who had a sister-like relationship. In the French dub, the relationship was explained that Uranus poses as a man in civilian form, and Neptune only pretends to be "his" girlfriend, to help protect their identities. Which doesn't make matters any better, really. Most European dubs portrayed their relationship to be merely platonic. The Taiwanese dub also toned down the relationship. In the United States dub, her relationship with Sailor Uranus was redefined as being cousins, and an ex-boyfriend was mentioned, further defining her as heterosexual.
 
 
She's still lesbian, though. Flirt with her (or attempt to) and Uranus (luckily not your anus) will kick your ass (because your anus can't kick itself).
 
 
===Sailor Pluto===
 
----
 
 
{{Q|Pluto is a planet. Why? Because I think Sailor Pluto is hooooooooooooottttt!|[[Mad scientist]] on Sailor Pluto}}
 
 
[[Image:Sailor_Pluto.jpeg|left|thumb|Please do not turn this into another one of those "Zero is a number!" debates. I don't care.]]
 
 
Sailor Pluto was kicked out because of the fact that [[Pluto (planet)|Pluto]] is not a fucking planet, goddammit!
 
 
Well, the truth is, the manga was written before this whole debate. So fuck off, all you [[Sexist|haters]]. Anyways, '''Setsuna Meioh, a.k.a. Not a Sailor Pluto''' is the oldest and most sophisticated of the Senshi, for a person who's position in the Senshi is debatable. The say that she is one of the strongest Senshi, too. She also has this scepter, even though she's not a monarch. Talk about getting all the power and benefits when you're not even a member! She's not that good-looking, so don't bother unless you REALLY, TRULY believe Pluto is a planet. Then she'll think you're perfect for her.
 
 
'''''Do you think Pluto should be a planet, much less a Senshi? Leave your answer in the talk section.'''''
 
 
===Sailor Saturn===
 
----
 
 
[[Image:Sailor_Saturn.jpeg|right|thumb|The most useless Soldier of them all.]]
 
 
'''Hotaru Tomoe, a.k.a. Sailor Saturn''', is pretty much useless. She can heal wounds? Cool. She can summon mass destruction? Done that millions of times before. Dies after doing this? Fuck. What, does she think she's [[Jesus|God]] or something (except for the fact that God cannot die, even though [[Christ]] died for our sins as ''God'' the son)? Damn. Pretty interesting for a rather minor, unknown, rarely discussed Senshi. Just goes to show you that [[Satanism]], [[Buddhism]], [[Islam]], and even [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonicism]] is much more popular than [[Christianity]]. [[Awesome|Pretty lame]].
 
 
She actually is the only one to retain her name in the American version. Wish they could have done it for the others instead, she rarely ever shows up and is useless when she does. She is considered the strongest Senshi (just because of her [[weapons of mass destruction|power]]), but not many people outside of Japan know about her ''or'' Pluto. That tells you a lot right there.
 
 
===Other Senshi===
 
----
 
 
[[File:Popeye.png|thumb|'''[[Popeye|Popeye the Sailor Moon]]''': Strongest of them all, she/he was kicked out because Usagi would rather eat sweets than spinach. Who wouldn't, though?]]
 
 
There are dozens more of Soldiers in the galaxy. The problem with that is that there are countless Senshi all over. This problem could be easily explained, but for the benefit of those who have ADD, we will stretch it into an entire paragraph.
 
 
Numerous debates occur on whether there is a Sailor Earth and Sailor Sun or not. People say that since there is Sailor Moon, each moon should have its own name. As a matter if fact, since the planets of their namesake are the names of gods, they think each god AND planet should jave ta respedtive Sailor. The real Senshi are often visited by their evil clones (Sailor Artemis (not to be confused with the cat in the anime, whose future spouse, Luna, can actually turn into a Sailor in the manga), [[Zeus|Sailor Zeus]], [[Poseidon|Sailor Poseidon]], Sailor Hermes (NOT [[Herpes|herpes]]), Sailor Ares, etc.) Real sailors always thought they should also be Soldiers, but this was debunked on the fact that over one billion [[Sailor|sailors]] would call themselves Moon and wear terrible [[Disguise|cosplays]], thus causing confusion on who the real Moon was. Many celebrities try to become Senshi, too, but they just suck.
 
 
We have not gone though ALL the Senshi, and we're not describing them in detail. Too bad for you.
 
 
===Senshi from the actual Show===
 
 
*Sailor Starlights
 
Relatively minor characters, to say the least. They each share the name Kou. For some reason, Tokyopop gave their manga name "Lights".
 
*Sailor Galaxia
 
 
Yeah, that's... pretty much it... All the others are dead or fake.
 
 
====A Galaxy, Far, Far Way====
 
 
*Sailor Tatooine
 
*Sailor Coruscant
 
*Sailor Mustafar (has a rivalry with Pyro (er, Mars))
 
*Sailor Dantooine (as useless as Saturn)
 
*Sailor Alderaan (died when the Death Star blew said planet up)
 
 
===="Other" Sailors====
 
 
*[[Popeye|Popeye the Sailor Moon]]
 
*[[Sailor Ban Ki Moon]]
 
 
==Production history==
 
 
Sailor Moon was originally planned to be a [[Reality TV|reality show]], but due to the fact that they're not even fucking realistic, it was turned into a [[manga]]. An [[Pornography|anime]] was later produced. Basically, there are five main arcs: Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon R, Sailor Moon S, Sailor Moon SuperS, and Sailor Stars. There is a "Lost Arc" where the Senshi get trapped in a fighting game and get sexually abused by a slime and black floating circle. A story in which the Sailor Senshi go to an island resort turns out to be a rejected idea for another manga from 30 years before. There was another plotless story where some random Egyptian man demanded The Silver Crystal and a long convulsed four musical series which was a mix of Jewish Mythology, vampires, historic serial killers and overthrowing God.
 
 
{{Q|A new anime was announced for summer 2013. It's spring 2013 as I write this. God help us all.|Creator of this article}}
 
 
Seriously, [[Satan|God]] help us all.
 
 
Some [[Bullshit!|video games]] were made off the series. This was a 90's series, so guess what we got?
 
 
Fucking [[Street Fighter 2|fighting games (FFG)]]. They were a few in millions if not thousands of Street Fighter, [[Mortal Wombat|Mortal Kombat]], and Final Fight clones. But, hey, you expected a [[Crap|good]] game off this kind of franchise? Funny...
 
 
The manga was originally released in 18 volumes but later rereleased in 12 volumes in 2011. Why? Because people wanted less bang for their [[Europe|euros]]. Takeuchi actually went to the trouble of redrawing the whole manga to make it seem less artistic and more like it was drawn by a five-year-old.
 
 
===Americanization===
 
 
{{Q|Before ''''DAMN YOU AUTOCORRECT!!!'''' there was ''''DAMN YOU AMERICANIZATION!!!''''|[[IPhone|iPhone]] user who was a 90's kid}}
 
 
So basically, in America, a lot of things were changed. They were minor, such as the Senshi being called Scouts, 5 episodes being deleted from the first season and two episodes morphed into one, toning down of violence, burning your dad's hair, adding a "Sailor Says" panel at the end of each episode, making Uranus and Neptune [[Love bugs|cousins]] rather then lesbians, and turning male watchers into kabuki performers (Kabuki is when men dress up like women and act like them on stage. They're more feminine than real women, it's so scary because you could be dating a transgender child or dating a [[Homosexual|faggot]]). The Japanese versions always seem different and weird, but the Americanized version goes way too far, being totally cheesy and cliche wherever possible. Not to mention the theme song which is a total ripoff of the much better 60's [[Batman]] show.
 
 
====Names====
 
 
Before Sailor Moon's American debut, Dick (whoops, I mean DiC...k) distributed a promotional tape to syndicators and stations to sell the series. This tape is notable in that it features completely different names for the five main characters; Usagi was called Victoria, Ami was Blue, Rei was Dana, Makoto wasSarah, and Minako was Carrie. Tuxedo Mask was temporarily "The Masked Tuxedo." Pssh. However, when the series aired the names were made to sound closer to their original form.
 
Well, they failed in ''THAT'' department.
 
 
*Usagi Tsukino - Serena (from "Serenity")
 
*Ami Mizuno - Amy
 
*Rei Hino - Raye
 
*Makoto Kino - Lita (a pun of the word "lightning")
 
*Minako Aino - Mina
 
*Haruka Tenoh - Amara
 
*Michiru Kaioh - Michelle
 
*Setsuna Meioh - Trista
 
*Mamoru Chiba - Darien
 
*Chibiusa - Rini (as "Chibiusa" from "Usagi", diminutive of "Serena")
 
The only Sailor Senshi who retains her original name is Hotaru Tomoe, but to be safe to [[Spanish language|English]] pronounciation, the 'e' remained, silent-thus the pronounciation Toe-moe rather than Toe-moe-eh.
 
 
They always have to do [[Pokemon Anime|that]], right? And then you wonder why the Japanese names are used in the article, die-hard Americann SM fans.
 
 
====Censorship====
 
 
For scenes of near-nudity, such as transformation sequences, body lines were removed around the breasts and pubic regions. Throughout the actual anime, many breast lines would be removed. For bathing scenes, the situation was solved by either digitally "raising" the water level around the cleavage or by eliminating body visibility by toning the water a solid color with the rest of the body being hidden. Also, there were removals of "any violence" including violence to children. The only problem with the whole thing? This is what people ''want'' to see. There was a small blood mark on Sailor Moon's leg in the pilot episode, but it was probably near-fatal in the original Japanese version.
 
   
 
==Reception==
 
==Reception==
  +
Most of ''Sailor Moon''{{'}}s viewers, ironically, were male. Some claimed that despite being aimed at young girls, the show had an adventurous and boyish feel to it. But ''really'', we all know it's because it gave '90s boys a [[Boner|strange sensation in their pants]]. This sensation felt so good that they rushed home every day to watch another episode and recreate this feeling.
   
Most of the viewers, ironically, were men. People ''did'' say that the anime intended for young girls had a boyish feel to it... And you could tell if a man was sitting nearby watching Sailor Moon.
+
==References==
+
{{Reflist}}
{{Q|Mmm, look at those big breasts, oh, I want some of that... Jupiter is such a hottie, but I can't decided between fucking a cardboard cutout of her or Venus... *licks lips*|Dude that makes you go o.O}}
 
 
The most popular purchase was the cutouts, available exclusively in the back of video rental stores, farther back from the porn. The anime helped pave the way for scientists to learn what a [[Boner|"boner"]] is. Also, many houses with young males were evacuated due to said person [[Urinating|jizzing]] in their pants, then throwing them out on the floor and/or hiding them below the house. This caused a smell that was a mixture of Sailor Moon and [[Feces|poop]].
 
 
==Today==
 
   
Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask live in a [[Condominium|McMansion]] in Chiba, Japan. Their daughter, Chibiusa, is currently attending UCLA and has a bachelor's degree in magic. Tuxedo Mask is a computer programmer, while Sailor Moon is an avid gamer. Sailor Mercury is attending Geneva Medical College in New York studying surgery. She has won the World Chess Championship, defeating defending champion Anatoly Karpov. She later married Usagi's younger brother, Shingo. Sailor Mars was killed after her house caught on fire, but she respawned and converted from Shinto to Methodist after seeing a vision of God and her two crows, Phobos and Delios. Sailor Jupiter is a five-time female heavyweight champion in boxing. Sailor Venus is an actress in [[Pornography|mixed-review]] films. Sailor Uranus and Neptune became the first lesbian couple married in Japan, and have three kids. Don't ask why or how. Sailor Pluto and Sailor Saturn co-host a TV show on women's rights.
+
[[Category: Anime]]

Latest revision as of 18:40, August 7, 2015

Sailor Moon
Sailor moon title
All of them are hot, it's hard to choose one.
Genre Action-adventure
Softcore pornography
Format Anime
Created by Naoko Takeuchi
Voices of Miscast French-Canadian actresses
Opening theme "The One Named Sailor Moon", performed by Puffy AmiYumi
Country of origin Japan
Language(s) English
Japanese
No. of seasons 5 4
No. of episodes 200 166 159
Production
Executive
producer(s)
Andy Heyward
Al Khan
Location(s) Tokyo, Japan
Running time 22 minutes
Production
company(s)
Toei Animation
DiC Entertainment (1998–99)
Cloverfield Inc. (2000–02)
Optimus Productions
Broadcast
Original channel Cartoon Network (Toonami)
Original run June 1, 1998 – July 5, 2002
Chronology
Preceded by Cutie Honey
Followed by Magic Madoka
Related shows Japanese TV series centered around battles where powerful creatures are summoned using some small object that usually has a real-life equivalent of these battles in the form of a game, except in real life, you don't actually get to summon any creatures

Sailor Moon is a '90s anime that aired on Cartoon Network's otherwise-testosterone-addled block Toonami. The story revolves around ditzy schoolgirl Usagi Tsukino, who wins love by daylight, and fights evil by moonlight under the magical girl identity of Sailor Moon, along with her fellow Sailor Senshi (though they're pretty much useless). They battle Flaming Queen Beryl, a superfiend who attempts to unite the three realms—Human, Beast, and Demon—and destroy the world.

There are five seasons of Sailor Moon, each of which features a new group of nutjob villains who suck at their jobs, but only four of which aired in 'Murica. As the show progresses, it gets more plot-driven and complex, but still manages to deliver the odd pantyshot on a steady basis. At the end of the series, Usagi marries the love of her life, Tuxedo Mask, and passes on her job to three shemales called the Sailor Starlights.

Through Sailor Moon, creator Naoko Takeuchi brought many important Japanese cultural themes and motivations to American audiences, including schoolgirls, overlong transformation sequences, consumption of toast, and enormous fire-spouting monsters destroying Tokyo. Thus, it is no surprise that the series was a worldwide hit, especially with young girls, young boys who were just hitting puberty, and ephebophiles.

edit Premise

edit Plot

Bouncywikilogo9
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Sailor Moon.

Sailor Moon centers on Usagi Tsukino, a whiny teenage schoolgirl living in Tokyo. One day, Usagi meets Luna, a talking black cat who tells her that she is really Sailor Moon, and has been recruited by the Japanese government into the Sailor Senshi magical girl program. Usagi goes to meet the other Senshi, and learns that they must protect the Earth from evil.[1] Each Sailor Senshi is named after a planetary body; for example: Sailor Moon (the Moon), Sailor Mercury (Mercury), and Sailor GX-42356 (the newly discovered moon orbiting Earth).

Then it delves into a story that is WAY more complicated than AP algebra. There are five main story arcs: Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon R, Sailor Moon S, Sailor Moon SuperS, and Sailor Stars. There is a "Lost Arc" where the Senshi get trapped in a fighting game and are sexually abused by slime and a black floating circle. Another story follows the Senshi as they go to an island resort, which is actually a rejected idea for another manga from 30 years ago. Then there was another pointless story where some random Egyptian man demanded the Silver Crystal. And there was a long, convulsed four-musical series which blended Jewish mythology, vampires, and historic serial killers.

The characters' pasts are mysterious and hidden even to them, and much of the series is devoted to them discovering their true identities and pasts. More boring than InuYasha. Luna, who teaches and guides the Sailor Senshi, doesn't know everyanything about their histories either, and the Senshi eventually learn that Usagi is the real Moon Princess. The Moon Princess' mother had her reborn as a Sailor Senshi to protect her. Gradually Usagi discovers the truth about her own past life (boring...), her destined true love (*yawn*), and the possibilities for the future of the Solar System.

Basically, each episode follows this formula:

  1. Usagi pretty much just talks to her friends in a weird, unpunny way. Either that or she bitches about bullshit that can only be controlled by God.
  2. The monster of the episode shows up and destroys the town while Usagi, completely able to peek from behind the wall, pays no attention and 1) zones out or 2) actually figures out what's going on but overlooks it while thinking about going on a date with Mamoru.
  3. The Senshi all get themselves in trouble.
  4. Luna reminds Usagi and the others to transform into their Sailor alter egos.
  5. All of the transformation scenes take minutes to occur, but because of total logic, the monsters don't try to attack or anything.
  6. Mamoru shows up as Tuxedo Mask and saves the girls or flirts with them. He then reminds them to use their special attack.
  7. Sailor Moon yells out, "Moon Tiara Action"! or some random shit, as do the other Senshi and they take about, oh, ANOTHER FUCKING MINUTE to use their attack.
  8. The enemies are still waiting...we already forgot who they were.
  9. The attack finally hits. IT NEVER MISSES AND ALWAYS KILLS IN ONE HIT.
  10. Usagi makes a corny, forced '90s pun.
  11. The End.

edit Characters

  • Usagi Tsukino / Sailor Moon – The loud, whiny, dumb blonde leader of the group. She's madly in love with Tuxedo Mask, who she is destined to be impregnated by to spawn Chibi Usa. In early episodes, she used her gold-plated metal tiara as a Frisbee to gruesomely decapitate enemies. Since this was too violent for a kids show, she was later given various types of magic wands.
  • Mamoru Chiba / Tuxedo Mask – A bishounen in a tuxedo, Tux is always there to save Usagi and friends, but never sticks around to fulfill their lustful desires. Oddly, he's attracted to a middle schooler despite being in college. His deadly rose attack can instantly level ten city blocks and has completely destroyed Tokyo in numerous episodes.
  • Ami Mizuno / Sailor Mercury – The smart one of the group, a dedicated computer hacker. Her attack is the weakest, since it only creates thick fog that results in multiple traffic accidents. However, her strength was demonstrated when she survived a 24-hour chess match while fully frozen, without losing a limb to frostbite.
  • Minako Aino / Sailor Venus – The self-centered, conceited valley girl of the group. Despite being blonde, she engages in traditional activities of Japanese schoolgirls, such as selling her used panties and pleasuring her cat guardian Artemis by prancing around in her underwear.
  • Rei Hino / Sailor Mars – The priestess of the group. Aside from bitch slapping Usagi and dating her boyfriend, she likes to set things on fire. Her school uniform, notably, has the shortest skirt of the group. She practices witchcraft, proving that she is in fact a white person and not an Asian.
  • Makoto Kino / Sailor Jupiter – The drama queen who's always looking for a boyfriend, only to be disappointed that he reminds her of someone she's already had sex with. The only things notable about her is that she shoots lightning, and her uniform is green, balancing out the other Senshi color-wise.
  • Hotaru Tomoe / Sailor Saturn – The goth girl of the group, Sailor Saturn is pretty much useless. She can heal wounds? Cool. She can summon mass destruction? Done that millions of times before. Dies after doing this? Fuck. She actually is the only Senshi to retain her name in the American version. She is considered the strongest Senshi (just because of her power), but not many people outside of Japan know about her or Pluto. That tells you a lot right there.
  • Haruka Tenoh / Sailor Uranus – The one in the group with a funny name. Contrary to popular belief, she is not lesbian in a relationship with Sailor Neptune; rather, they are cousins. Her earthquake attack made her the subject of CIA investigation following the collapse of the Twin Towers.
  • Michiru Kaioh / Sailor Neptune – The art school drop-out of the group. Her attack is "the sea", apparently ignorant of the fact that Sailor Mercury had the idea first. She is a wanted war-criminal due to the numerous tsunamis caused by her attacks.
  • Setsuna Meioh / Sailor Pluto – A Senshi who didn't get much screen time due to producers denouncing her appearance as "too old", compared to the other young, sexy Sailors—and also because Pluto isn't a damn planet anymore. She has fallen into massive depression after being demoted, and was last seen at an all-you-can-eat buffet, claiming that she's "Working on regaining her previous title."
  • Chibi Usa (Sailor Chibi Moon) – The obligatory loli. During one season of the series, she maintained a healthy, romantic relationship with a horse. During another season we discover that, *gasp*, she is actually Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask's daughter from the future!
  • Luna – A cat. A talking cat. A talking, female cat who is the ruler of the known universe. Refuses to return Garfield's phone calls. She can also take on the form of a plushie, a grown-up female human, a human girl with cat ears and a giant purple squid. Has the ability to create magical objects from her behind.
  • Sailor Starlights – Relatively minor characters, to say the least. They are shemales, and each share the name Kou. For some reason, Tokyopop named them "Lights" in the magna.
  • Queen Beryl – The Queen of the Negaverse, and main villain of the first season. Notable for her and extremely long hair and long fingernails. Beryl tried to destroy Sailor Moon with her army of lost souls, but failed and went into seclusion.
  • Professor Tomoe – Leader of the Death Busters, and another villain. His daughter is Hotaru, a super emo depressed Bitch of Darkness. He is aroused by his own wicked laughter.
  • Sailor Galaxian – Galaxian used to be a Sailor Senshi, that is, until she got possessed by an evil power or something. She is a ruthless villain, possibly the biggest evil bitch in the entire series, and also the world record holder of killing the most heroes, as well as her subordinates.

edit American version

4kids from wikipedia

Nudity is naughty, so DiC ensures cleanliness in Sailor Moon by having characters bathe in what appears to be blood. Because that's so much better.

When Sailor Moon came over to America to be dubbed, network executives and censors ordered a lot of things to be changed or removed. These included:

  • Five episodes being deleted from the first season and two episodes being morphed into one.
  • Removal of any and all violence, especially violence towards children.[2]
  • Adding a "Sailor Says" PSA at the end of each episode.
  • Making Uranus and Neptune lesbians rather than cousins.
  • Changing names to make them sound "more American"; this was despite DiC being a French company. For example: Sailor Senshi → Sailor Scouts, Usagi Tsukino → Serena, Ami Mizuno → Amy, Rei Hino → Raye, Tuxedo Mask → The Masked Tuxedo
  • For scenes of near-nudity, such as transformation sequences or bathing, breasts were digitally erased.

The problem with the removals? This is the stuff people wanted to see. The Japanese version was a little weird, but the Americanized version went way too far, being '90s cheesy and cliche wherever possible.

edit Merchandise

edit Manga

Sailor Moon began in 1992 as a manga, originally released in 18 volumes. It was later rereleased in 12 volumes in 2011. Why? Because people wanted less bang for their Euros. Takeuchi actually went to the trouble of redrawing the whole manga to make it seem less artistic and more like it was drawn by a five-year-old.

edit Video games

Video games based off Sailor Moon were produced. This was a '90s anime, so guess what we got? Lots and lots of fighting games, most of which were ripoffs of Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, or Final Fight. But hey, you expected a good game from this kind of anime? Funny...

edit Live-action series

In 1993, Rocky Solotoff, president and founder of Toon Maker Inc. had hoped to capitalize on the success of Saban Entertainment's Power Rangers by creating an American live-action/western-animated version of Sailor Moon. Solotoff wrote, directed, and produced a pilot episode of his version of Sailor Moon for a company called Renaissance-Atlantic, who helped Saban procure Super Sentai from Toei to create the Power Rangers.

To this day, Solotoff's version of Sailor Moon has not been exhibited publicly. Why? Because it was awful, just awful. Unfortunately, some poor soul had the strength to bootleg part of it and posted it on the Internet years later.

edit Reception

Most of Sailor Moon's viewers, ironically, were male. Some claimed that despite being aimed at young girls, the show had an adventurous and boyish feel to it. But really, we all know it's because it gave '90s boys a strange sensation in their pants. This sensation felt so good that they rushed home every day to watch another episode and recreate this feeling.

edit References

  1. Because, you know, girls have to save the earth. Superman, eat your steel heart out.
  2. There was a small blood mark on Sailor Moon's leg in the pilot episode, but it was probably near-fatal in the original Japanese version.
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