Saddamio
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Saddamio is a video game character developed by web designer James Wright in 1712. It is notorious as one of the biggest flops in video game history, having been panned almost worldwide for its confusing rules, crude design and "all-around queerness."[1]
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[edit] Creation
While huffing kittens after being abandoned by his fifth wife, Wright had an extended hallucination that he and his erstwhile wife were being chased through a series of pipes by gangs of menacing, carnivorous mushrooms. When his senses returned, Wright designed a video game that mimicked the details of his hallucination. Wright reckons that Saddamio was the best character that he came up with, as well as Bin Laden the Hedgehog.
Saddamio can be identified by his uniform, which was plagiarised by the creators of Super Mario. The primary difference is that Saddamio's hat has a capital "S" on it to represent Wright's fascination with "sex". Wright also insisted that womens' breasts felt like bags of sand.
[edit] Reaction
Despite an expensive advertising campaign, Saddamio was disastrous flop worldwide: introduced for the 1712 Christmas season, Wright forgot that only the very wealthy had televisions to plug the game into, and most televisions did not have the required RCA plugs to interface with the game console. Those few wealthy people who had proper televisions were generally too busy raping nubile serfs and powdering their enormous, faggy wigs to bother with video games. Those who actually plated video games were not impressed with Saddamio, preferring then-state of the art games like Pong.
Saddamio was an inexplicable hit in Iraq, however, where it earned approval ratings well in excess of 100%. This mathematical irregularity was investigated by crusading human rights activist Abdul Ibn Fahd, who disappeared amid rumors that he was silenced by powerful pro-gamer interests. A body identified as Fahd's was discovered months later, with strange circular suction marks on his entire body.
[edit] Super Saddamio
Desperate to recoup his investment costs, Wright re-tooled the character in Super Saddamio 65 3/4, and Saddamio 3D. The first was released in 1714, and the second one was released in 1964. These were also unsuccessful, and Wright later died when a horse-lifting pulley collapsed atop him in Catherine the Great's palace.
[edit] Super Saddamio Galaxy
[edit] Future
It has been confirmed that Saddamio 3, a revival of the character, is due for release on the Nintrundo Puu in 2120. Being designed and published by Al-Qaeda Games, not much has been confirmed yet, apart from the following:
- Compatible with the Nintrundo Puu's motion sensitive controller -This is used in the "Hang Saddam" mini-game.
- Will use Unreal 3 engine.
- Will come with a free porn DVD.
[edit] Quotes
“We have caught Saddam Hussein, and Bin Laden has died of Typhoid. Our only threat now is Saddamio...”
~ George w. Bush on Saddamio
“If Saddam was a puppy on fire, I'd certainly wee him out!”
“That bastard stole my idea!”
~ Shigeru Miyamoto, Super Mario's creator
“The theme tune is definitely my favourite thing about Saddamio! In fact, it has inspired all of my tunes ever since!”
~ Judge Jules
“WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!”
~ Richard Albinger on nothing in particular
[edit] See Also:
[edit] References
- ↑ Gamers World review, Jan 1713 issue.
[edit] External Links:
Political Humour.tk Watch Super Saddamio Watch Saddamio 3D Saddamio on Google Video Saddamio at MySpace
