SMS
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“WHY IS IT MONKEYS?? THIS DISEASE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MONKEYS!!!”
~ King Kong on Monkey Rights.
Stupid Monkey Syndrome (SMS) is a mental deficiency that usually attacks people with mobile phones. Not to be confused with Short Message Service, which is a popular service to send and receive short messages, Stupid Monkey Syndrome is more of the disease that formed from modern mobile phones or cell phones, even banana phones. The syndrome resulting in a drastic changes of people towards telecomunication and phones, as they started to press random buttons in a short period of time. The syndrome also made a huge impact on human's body organ, such as shrinking mouth, fingers and expanding eye lenses (although the eye lid is shrinking).
The first case of SMS was found in the early 20th century when the USA invaded Japan, the country referred as SMS-san. In that period, people in Japan stoped talking to each other and banned the use of Internets and Sushi. Nowadays, the SMS virus has spread to all countries, even Gibraltar.
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[edit] History
If we want to explore the history of the syndrome, firstly we need to discover the history of Short Message Service. The history of SMS dated back in 1931, when the first generation of mobile phone was invented. At that time, scientists, with Junichiro Koizumi as the leader, was thinking about adding more funtions to the current mobile phone, besides taking pictures. On April 25, 1932, finally they was able to send the first message via mobile phones, with "Hello World, testing 1 2 3" as the message. The research was a huge success and Ichiro decided to name it Message, or generally referred as M. Five years later, his company was sued by a company called M, which is stands for Massaging because having the same name. Due to this issue, Ichiro assembled a meeting with his workers to find a new name. After a period of hard time, the name M was changed to MS since the word "Service" is added after "Message". The origin of the word "Short" is still unclear by the time you read this article, although some experts define it as "Not-long", possibly because of the nature of the messages.
- Starting from here, Short Text Message will be referred as "text message" to avoid confusion.
From now on, the history of Stupid Monkey Syndrome can be explored. In 1942, during the World War One (WWO, not to be mistaken with WoW or World of Warcraft), the Japanese sent a lot of text messages to ask for help. The reason behind is that text messaging does not require them to speak or produce any sound, which is a huge advantage for them. However, due to excessive usage of text messaging and some various reasons, they were contaminated with the network and resulted in the syndrome
[edit] Social ramifications
Although it was thought for quite some time that SMS was a convenient way to mask infidelitous affairs, it has recently been discovered that wives know how to read cell phone bills.
SMS is therefore blamed for the demise of approximately 80% of marriages in the north-western quadrisphere, which is really odd when you consider that only 50% or so of them actually do collapse.
Math never was our strong suit.
