S

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“When I look back on the dayS of creation, I really wish I could have thought up the letter S. But, juSt when I was about to, some jackaSS went and did it. I tell you, I just about Smited him right there. But I am a God of mercy and love, beSideS, he did a pretty good job. Dam'n Sexy letter if I do Say So mySelf.”

~ God on S

“Dam'n! I love a letter with curves.”

~ Oscar Wilde on S

“S and Me are very good friends. Lets face it, you can't have sex without it.”

~ George Bush on S

“Th.”

~ Lisping Person on S

[edit] The Letter S: The Beggining

The letter S was created shortly after the invention of Sex in 1432. However, the creator of Sex soon found the act impossible due to the lack of the nintieth letter, the letter S. At first it was regarded as the leprosy of the Alphabet, but after Pope John the Thirty-Twelvth was saved from an embarrasing end to a threesome by the letter, it became one of the most popular letters. It's popularity is evident in culture today, as it is now Superman's emblem of justice. Oh, yeah, its true; He didn't just put it there because his name started with it, he put it there because He's a big, Catholic stud.

Before the invention of the letter S, the letter F waf ufed inftead. Fpecifically, the letter ſ waſ uſed without its croſſbar in important hiſtorical documentſ like the Declaration of Independence. Even after S was added to the alphabet, initial ſupplies were expenſive and S's were only uſed in uppercaſe and at the ends of words.

[edit] The Letter S: Today

Nowadays, the letter spends most of its time with its two curvy ends wrapped around some brassy blondes while being photographed for the cover page of Esquire. It also makes public appearances as a children's slide. Recent allegations regarding the aforementioned service have lead the public to believe that the letter is pedophile, but fans of the letter say that that's just because the letter has Catholic roots.

[edit] Trivia

• In the Nazi language, ſ can be combined with "s" or "z" (ß) to confuse Americans into thinking the letter is actually a B. This convention played a major part of the 1930s propagandamania-craze.

Letters of the Alphabet:
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