Rush Hour

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“What the fuck! How can you crash and block goddamn traffic for two hours if you weren't fucking moving in the first place!!!”

~ A driver on why he is currently angry

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Rush Hour.

I am currently in a traffic jam while I tell you about it, and may sometimes have to blank out and

Don't cut me off bitch! I'll cap your ass!

talk to the people in front of me. Traffic jams can sometimes be a

Don't flip me off, you bastard! I invented that gesture!

MOVE DAMN YOU!!!

minor inconvenience.

[edit] Why there are Traffic Jams

It is because God is punishing me, by putting all these

FUCKING DUMBASSES

in front of me. He also makes all lights red when I reach them. I don't

I wouldn't have to drive safely around your baby on board sign if you used a goddamn condom!

do anything bad to deserve it. If you are in a traffic jam, it is because

Damn! I broke my horn honking at the fucktard in front of me!

That is my car. In the very back of all this. See it?

I am nearby, and God is currently sending a plague of these unexperienced drivers at

Go to Hell, and learn how to fucking drive while you're there, pissant!

me. Sometimes people give me bad hand gestures, or yell profanity at me. Why are such crude people

Get off the goddamn phone, you tit!

on the road?

[edit] Where am I going in such a hurry, you ask?

Yeah, I bet you really need to get to your father's funeral! I bet you killed him with that fucking driving of yours!

I need to get to some anger management class. I don't understand why

MOVE UP! My car's growing roots!

I had nothing to do with this.

I must go. A judge ordered me, and accused me of

If you cut me off one more time, I'm gonna hit your car with a golf club, you dick!

being obscene on the road. I don't know what he was talking about when

DID YOU JUST CUT ME OFF AGAIN!?

he did that. Also, he said that I might either be Bipolar or have ADD, and that

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I JUST HIT YOUR CAR WITH THAT GOLF CLUB!

I might need help.

[edit] You think that I do need help?

DON'T PULL A FUCKING GUN ON ME! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU FOR THAT!

I don't know where you got that from. I am a perfectly normal functioning member of society. In fact

YES OFFICER, I SHOT THAT RAT'S ASS IN THE LEFT MOTHERFUCKING EYE!

Oh sorry guys, I'm off to jail for some reason. I'll be back. Just you wait...

HOW DARE YOU ARREST ME, FUCKFACE!

Article written in the style of its subject This article is funny because it is written in the real or imagined writing style of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is probably because you are an ignorant cultural philistine who does not recognise this without explanation. If you still do not find the article funny, that is probably because a joke loses its humor when it is explained. If you hadn't been so ignorant, then you wouldn't have needed to have the joke explained to you in the first place.