Ruby

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“Ruby Ruby Ruby Ruby!”
~ Kaiser Chiefs


Artificial Creation

The stone was artificially created by the Japanese supercomputer programmer Yukihwhichiro Matsumoto, who thought it might be funny to build a stone out of abstract materials such as integers, Turing machine tape, and atoms.

Physical Properties

Ruby is said to follow the principle of least surprise, meaning that the stone behaves intuitively. For example, if you drop it off a tall building, it will begin swearing and cursing, just as you would expect.

However, the most intuitive stone can behave strangely. Ruby is no exception. For example, for some reason it frequently believes it is, in fact, a pearl. Other possible surprises include the following:

  • The stone may surprise you by choosing not to surprise you. If this happens, consider seeing a psychiatrist.
  • The stone will seek to attach itself to the nearest computer by quantum-entangling it with powerful laser beams.
  • The stone may do something completely useless and have infinite ways of doing something compeletely useless.
  • Will add a fiery quality to any object you socket it into

Useless, and Therefore Unsurprising Facts

  • Ruby is the birthstone associated with the month of Smarch, even though it was manufactured a long time before Smarch was invented.
  • Ruby's chemical formula is Al2O3, which, coincidentally, is also the cellphone number of a famous prostitute in downtown London, also named Ruby.

Hello world in Ruby

puts('Hello world !'.gsub(/./,'AA')+'!!')

External Links

  • AllThoseGems - for more information about rubies and other gemstones
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