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“This article is rubbish”
Rubbish™ is a breakfast cereal manufactured by Post, it is fortified with iron, non-essential vitamins (Q,T,W, and §), DDT, nicotine, and badgers. Eat a bowl of Rubbish™ every day to get your daily requirement of hemp fibre. Rubbish™ is made predominantly from rice, and other waste products from Asian households. It comes in boxes, bins and bags. It is also famous for its alliteration.
Back of the Box Rubbish™ Facts
get it, rubbish? Ah-hahaha...
What a crunchy and sweet foodstuff! Due to its interesting chemical properties, rubbish never goes soggy in milk. Rather, by changing the milk green, it allows for a unique texture that will follow you all the way to your esophagus. You can also find a unique toy in the bottom of each box, but despite such surprises as LED lights and cockroaches, the nutritional value of this plaything remains steadfast. In fact, the toy provides an astounding majority of rubbish's iron content!
Sure, rubbish causes cancer, just like plastic shower curtains and hands bigger than your face, but rubbish can cure cancer as well. Similar to the hair of the dog that choked on your store-brand baking soda, rubbish has multiple uses that all can contribute to a healthy lifestyle. Ever found yourself without cement or solid state rocket fuel? Just add water and watch in wonder! Rubbish, as the only useful thing that has no use whatsoever, Is Just That Good!
- It recorded a CD in 1990 that went quintuple platinum.
- Don Henley wrote "The Boys of Summer" about Rubbish™.
- It was on the list of prohibited substances at the 2006 Winter Olympics
- It was the forth original Blue Man until it was fired for failing to catch a marshmallow that was thrown at it.
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