Today's Featured Article
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
and Todd "Howlin'" Lyons worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Some "Fingers" User .
Tomb of the Unknown Contributor
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
On this day...
International February 14: Suck Day
32 - Jesus Christ contracts bad case of crabs from Mary Magdalene.
35 - New cure for crabs invented that does not involve crucifiction.
69 - Two young lovers get it on in a groovy new position.
269 - St Valentinus is castrated, horsewhipped and disembowelled. 1500 years later, this day is celebrated through romance.
1799 - Bad pun day in history - Apparently, James Cook was killed on the Sandwich Islands. Historians aren't laughing.
1852 - Ash Ketchum says "I choo choo choose you" to Ted Williamson shortly before his death by being hit by a train.
1917 - In Soviet Russia, woe is you
1994 - Canada successfully build space shuttle capable of flying back to Earth
2000 - Some people are woefully alone on this day.
2001 - Everyone who was woefully alone in 2000 is still alone on this day.
2002 - They're still woefully alone.
2003 - One of the people who is woefully alone proposes an alternative holiday, entitled Go Out With A Loser Who Has Never Had A Date Day. However, no girl will still talk to him.
2004 - Not willing to give up, the guy who made the holiday in 2003 decides to make Trek-mance Connection. Now, even nerdy girls still won't talk to him, and everyone mocks his horrible naming skills.
2005 - Lonely guy starts an Emo band. Bandmates ask him not to name the band. Girls still won't talk to him.
2009 - St Valentinus is reborn and executed for the second time for molesting small farm animals.
2010 - St Valentinus is reincarnated as a charismatic frog and gets away with years of outrageous self-abuse.
Word of the Day
Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power.
In the news
writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
Oscar Wilde of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint Editors -human hybrid to manage Recent News.
earwig was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
Jesus people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
Gothic The commit mass suicide, but emos nobody cares...duh...
Mourners flow through the streets of in New York fashion, melodramatic demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
All are wearing black armbands.
Uncyclopedians The are comitting mass seppuku.
Japanese The are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In British France, rioting ensues.
Physicists at publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
IITb The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
All the are drunk. All the Russians are Dutch . Peyote use at an alarming high among stoned .
Native Americans In the the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
middle east The have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
If anyone cares on a day like today...
*...that bestiality just got 15 percent more legal?
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