Today's Featured Article
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
and Todd "Howlin'" Lyons worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Some "Fingers" User .
Tomb of the Unknown Contributor
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
On this day...
July 20: Window Licking Day ( Scotland)
14 CE - Romans begin installing glass windows in buildings. Rock throwing becomes a popular sport.
1276 - Chartres Cathedral officials make it a sin to lick stained glass windows after dozens of worshippers are found dead in the previous winter, stuck to windows by their tongues that had frozen to the glass. How they were able to do that on windows 35 meters (115 ft.) above ground level remains a mystery.
1580 - Sir Francis Drake circumnavigates the globe, after licking windows in over 50 lands.
1903 - The Ford Motor Company ships its first car, the Model R, with an engine that powers its four wooden wheels with whale oil.
1928 - The government of Hungary issues a decree ordering Gypsies to settle in one place, surrender their Gypsy gold, and take a bath goddammit!
1944 - Adolf Hitler survives a bomb blast in the bunker. A build-up in flatulence is blamed. Chef Claus von Stauffenberg is shot.
1969 - NASA astronaut Louis Armstrong becomes the first man to set foot on the moon (pictured) when Apollo 11 splashes down in the Sea of Tranquillity.
1974 - Turkeys invade Cyprus.
1981 - The chemical compound Anime is first isolated in a Japanese laboratory.
2017 - O.J. Simpson is released from prison, vowing to find his ex-wife's killer. Thousand of mirrors are mailed to him.
Word of the Day
Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power.
In the news
writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
Oscar Wilde of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint Editors -human hybrid to manage Recent News.
earwig was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
Jesus people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
Gothic The commit mass suicide, but emos nobody cares...duh...
Mourners flow through the streets of in New York fashion, melodramatic demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
All are wearing black armbands.
Uncyclopedians The are comitting mass seppuku.
Japanese The are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In British France, rioting ensues.
Physicists at publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
IITb The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
All the are drunk. All the Russians are Dutch . Peyote use at an alarming high among stoned .
Native Americans In the the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
middle east The have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
If anyone cares on a day like today...
*... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?
Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.