Today's Featured Article
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
and Todd "Howlin'" Lyons worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Some "Fingers" User .
Tomb of the Unknown Contributor
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
On this day...
1337 d4y ( February 25: 133714)
1966 - Palestinians informed that they are not the Chosen People. Jews celebrate, only to be told that they, also, are not the Chosen People.
1337 - 1337 15 c0mm0n.
1337 - Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Albert Einstein are born. The world almost explodes. They said they'd kill me if this was done in 1337.
1338 - 1337 mysteriously falls out of usage. Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Albert Einstein put into cryogenic freeze until the 20th century.
1980 - Al Gore creates the year 1980
1997 - Space is invented.
3137 - 173471041nrnn 1337 4494nrm 4dy.
7331 - 5dr4wkc4b 51 7331.
π - F**k it, no one can read it anyway.
7331337 - In Soviet Russia, 1337 can't f**king read YOU !!
... - AFK day.
N00B - WTFWJDFAKBZOMGLM AOROTFLOLZOMGBBQHAXNOOB13 37KAMSABP11!!111 !!1!1(WHAT THE F **K WOULD JESUS DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR ZOH MY GOD LAUGHING MY A SS OFF ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUG HING OUT LOUD ZOH MY GOD BA RBECUE HACKS NOOB LEET KOOL-AID MAN SAUSAGE AN D BACON POUTINE11!!111!!1!1)
1985 - Bill Gates invents Glass and pwns everyone on his computer
2005 - Man finds God then loses him again
2011 - A Trouser Snake named Sherlock beats IBM super computer Watson in a game of Cluedo.
2012 - George W. Bush replaces Tony Blair as Middle-East Peace Envoy, Sauron said to be looking forward to talks.
Word of the Day
Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power.
In the news
writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
Oscar Wilde of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint Editors -human hybrid to manage Recent News.
earwig was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
Jesus people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
Gothic The commit mass suicide, but emos nobody cares...duh...
Mourners flow through the streets of in New York fashion, melodramatic demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
All are wearing black armbands.
Uncyclopedians The are comitting mass seppuku.
Japanese The are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In British France, rioting ensues.
Physicists at publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
IITb The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
All the are drunk. All the Russians are Dutch . Peyote use at an alarming high among stoned .
Native Americans In the the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
middle east The have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
If anyone cares on a day like today...
*...that your birth certificate is an apology letter from condom factory?
...that The Oldest Trick in the Book is the infamous "Tapping on a person's left shoulder when you're standing on their right"? This trick was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia.
Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.