Today's Featured Article
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
and Todd "Howlin'" Lyons worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Some "Fingers" User .
Tomb of the Unknown Contributor
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
On this day...
Take a Venomous Animal to Work Day, also National Australian Pavlova is Ours Day.
1143 - Pope Innoocent II rejoins God after taking his wife to work.
1554 - Francisco Vasquez de Coronado, Spanish explorer, dies after taking a rattlesnake to work.
1774 - Pope Clement XIV (b. 1705) expires after taking a lionfish to work.
1972 - The French word "capitulate" is added to the OED (the French themselves have been using the word since 600 BC).
1974 - Two whole words, both alike in dignity, "Capulet" and "Montague", are added to the OED.
1979 - Olympics held in Wigan for the second time.
1986 - Ozzy "Ozzy" Osbourne catches a crazy train. Is late for work. Rioting ensues.
1989 - Songwriter Irving Berlin dies when the platypus he brings to work strikes him with its venomous leg spines.
1990 - First "cow catapult" launch observed in controversial computer game "Nuclear War".
1995 - Samantha T. is born as a baby
2002 - Revolution in Webbrowserland leads to crowning of Pheonix I by Mozilla rebels. Fighting start of Firefox War.
2006 - A homeless man in Australia is beaten sensless by a giant used tampon. Police reports show that the tampon was 'Carefree'.
2007 - Rhys Jones is caught in a drive-by on the way to a Used concert, his collapse to the ground causes the biggest earthquake on human record which in turn brings the end of the world ( doomsday)
2008 - Australia freaks out due to apocalypse, but then realises false alarm that it is only a duststorm.
2009 - Australia rejoices as government scientists prove that New Zealand forged pavlova recipe, meaning that Australians now have another reason to mock their cousins across the Tasman.
Word of the Day
Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power.
In the news
writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
Oscar Wilde of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint Editors -human hybrid to manage Recent News.
earwig was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
Jesus people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
Gothic The commit mass suicide, but emos nobody cares...duh...
Mourners flow through the streets of in New York fashion, melodramatic demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
All are wearing black armbands.
Uncyclopedians The are comitting mass seppuku.
Japanese The are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In British France, rioting ensues.
Physicists at publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
IITb The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
All the are drunk. All the Russians are Dutch . Peyote use at an alarming high among stoned .
Native Americans In the the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
middle east The have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
If anyone cares on a day like today...
*...that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
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