Today's Featured Article
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
and Todd "Howlin'" Lyons worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Some "Fingers" User .
Tomb of the Unknown Contributor
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
On this day...
May 4: Jedi New Year
321 - The date no one thought would ever happen, finally did.
1367 - King Philo of Wallachia discovers flatulence.
1594 - Dwarf Hunting declared illegal in France.
1904 - USA begins first efforts to curb illegal immigration with groundbreaking of Panama Canal, separating North and South America.
1905 - Weebles wobble.
1924 - Weebles still won't fall down.
1930 - A time-travelling Jimbo Wales accidentally causes the Great Depression.
1939 - Thomas Jefferson ends up being the first president to become a rock star.
1953 - Ernest Hemingway awarded the Pulitzer Prize for his maritime opus, Shark Tale.
1960 - John Prescott wins the first of many pie eating contests.
1961 - Martin Luther King has a dream about going to school naked.
1965 - Tony Blair announces the John Prescott Widening Project in order to increase the amount of pies John Prescott can eat. This reduced his ability to make incomprehensible sentences. Millions rejoice.
1966 - Robin Cook appointed as Cheif Incomprehensible Sentence Maker by the Queen. Millions saddened.
1968 - Robin Williams visits Earth and pals around with Gene Roddenberry and William Shatner. More than 40 years of science fiction hub-bub and techno-crap follow, creating really cool inventions like the transporter and Klingons.
1977 - Star Wars is released with the tag line "May the fourth be with you". The Director was later fired to making up such a ludicrous pun. Douchebag.
1980 - Ronald Reagan loses in a winner-take all paintball tournament sponsored by Jodie Foster.
1986 - Ronald Reagan awakes to a new day, but has no idea why.
2004 - First annual Nigerian Email Writers Convention held.
2005 - The entire country of Portugal secedes and moves to Canada.
2007 - Queen Elizabeth prepares enjoy the Kentuckistan Derby by buying a beer bong.
2009 - Jimmy Carter creates the Anti- Weeble, which never gets up off the floor. This brings chaos to the Weeble-balance and the Weeble Wars begin.
Word of the Day
Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power.
In the news
writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
Oscar Wilde of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint Editors -human hybrid to manage Recent News.
earwig was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
Jesus people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
Gothic The commit mass suicide, but emos nobody cares...duh...
Mourners flow through the streets of in New York fashion, melodramatic demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
All are wearing black armbands.
Uncyclopedians The are comitting mass seppuku.
Japanese The are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In British France, rioting ensues.
Physicists at publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
IITb The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
All the are drunk. All the Russians are Dutch . Peyote use at an alarming high among stoned .
Native Americans In the the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
middle east The have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
If anyone cares on a day like today...
*...that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
...that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.