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Welcome to Uncyclopedia in Mourning,

the content-free encyclopedia that we wished Some User and Todd Lyons still edited
Rest In Peace brave souls

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Today's Featured Article
Dead sysop

In Memoriam

Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.

Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.

A minute's deletion is to be observed.

On this day...
Boxing Day

December 26: Packaging Day/ Useless office memorandum day / The one day women poop. It smells like roses. International Go to the Pub all afternoon and Have a row with the Missus Day

  • The 3rd day of creation - God creates the useless memorandum
  • 0 - Rudolph catches everlasting cold after night out, condemned to permanent red nose.
  • 17 - Jesus recovers from a "wicked birthday hangover" and cleans up the house before his parents get home.
  • 35 - Stephen the Protomartyr gets stoned off his ass.
  • 931 - Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen; when the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even;
  • 2002 - Last recorded Vowel movement for God. In an indirect response to this anniversary, God decides to take out His frustration on His rich children every year after-wizard.
  • 2003 - Devastating spongecake in Ham because they owned too many fairy cakes, and Bob makes them play.
  • 2004 - Realising he has nothing to bitch about Bob Geldoff creates devastating Tsunami.
  • 2004 - Devastating toffee in Southeast Asia because they owned too many fudges, and Bob makes them play.
  • 2004 - The idea for Deal or No Deal created on Boxing Day after Noel Edmonds was trapped in a box, the producer of the show opening it and gasping, before thinking 'hey, why don't we do that with something valuable in the boxes?'
  • 2005 - Devastating jam tarts in Central America because they owned too many biscuits, and Bob makes them play.
  • 2006 - Devastating shelves falling over in Iceland because they owned too many products, and some hooligans tipped them over.
  • 2007 - Mars destroyed during the War of the Worlds, because there were too many martians and God ran out of ways to make them pay, but the bacteria killed them.
  • 2008 - Mars destroyed bacause the Bible has no recorded evidence of Martians, and God makes it pay.
  • 2009 - Devastating red hole wipes out universe, and God makes no two pay.
  • 2010 - Devastating white hole wipes out red hole, and God makes no one pay.
  • 2011 - Devastating white hole wipes out God, leaving no one to make no one pay.
  • 6325 - Despite the discovery of the lost pelvis of Richard Belzer, our world still sucks.
Word of the Day
Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
In the news
  • Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
  • Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
  • Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
  • Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
  • The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
  • Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion, demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
  • All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
  • The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
  • The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
  • Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
  • The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
  • All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
  • In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
  • The Americans have organised a drive through service.

a duh /b/ was here

UnNews – Need a shoulder to cry on? Ask Cthulhu!

If anyone cares on a day like today...
*...that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
  • ...that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
Today's featured Tombstone
Psycho

Children's books as they should be, without sugar-coating.

Image Credit: Bonjo Nelson
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More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Writer and Noob of the Month
Wotm

Oh great....another award for Todd.....(mutters darkly)....lets all be pleased for him.....(mumble, mumble)..... It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....Todd Lyons! Blasting through his competition, Todd sails to the lead with Richard M. Stallman at his right and OCD in his head. ToddBot2000 by day and Article Mastermind by night, his genius speaks for itself.


Noobaward

"An incomparably superior human being," the Count of Monkey Crisco is known for his excellent work and knows it. Spawning such contributions as Midget cockpunching terrorists and an Evil Cookie Monster, the Count has left an indelible bootprint on the face of Uncyclopedia, forever.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006 You only have 5 (Five) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!


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