Today's Featured Article
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
and Todd "Howlin'" Lyons worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Some "Fingers" User .
Tomb of the Unknown Contributor
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
On this day...
Anniversary of August 31: Rob Zombie's first
69 BC - John Carpenter is born
320 A.D. - Knives invented by Leonardo Da Vinci.
540 A.D. - Greeks invent the holiday of Halloween, because they were bored and had nothing else to do.
1958 - Jamie Lee Curtis is born.
1963 - Mike Myers (the comedian-actor) is born, much to the amusement of horror fans.
1964 - The Beatles write an early version of "Help!" featuring lyrics such as " It was the boogeyman?/As a matter of fact, it was/He's not human/Shot him six times!" However, Paul couldn't find anything to rhyme with "boogeyman."
1965 - Rob Zombie is born.
1966 - The Rolling Stones write an early version of "Paint It Black" with the sole lyric " Black isn't a color."
1966 - Randy Bachman removes the lyrics " These are the eyes of a psychopath" from the Guess Who hit "These Eyes."
1978 - The original movie is released; people become terrified of the wrong Mike Myers.
Halloween 1980 - Some little slasher-horror movie with some dumb holiday name is released. The killer is some chick with a son named Jacob or something like that.
1989 - Mike Myers joins the cast of , as Michael Myers rushes out another sequel, Saturday Night Live .
Halloween 5 1990 - Michael Myers disappears from pop culture radar. Meanwhile, Mike Myers' career begins to take off.
1995 - Michael Myers is back with a vengeance as is released to little fanfare. Donald Pleasence dies and is replaced by a talking dog.
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers 1997 - Princess Diana dies in a drink driving incident, while trying to engage in a spit roast in the back of a Mercedes, in Paris, France
1998 - saves the Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later .
Halloween franchise 2002 - The Halloween franchise is nearly killed by Busta Rhymes in .
Halloween: Resurrection 2006 - Rob Zombie announces that he is remaking Halloween.
2007 - Rob Zombie's masterpiece, , is released and grosses more money than Halloween , Mr. Bean , Balls of Fury , Superbad , and Titanic II combined.
Transformers 2009 - Audience flock to see The and Final Destination Taking instead of Woodstock
Word of the Day
Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power.
In the news
writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
Oscar Wilde of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint Editors -human hybrid to manage Recent News.
earwig was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
Jesus people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
Gothic The commit mass suicide, but emos nobody cares...duh...
Mourners flow through the streets of in New York fashion, melodramatic demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
All are wearing black armbands.
Uncyclopedians The are comitting mass seppuku.
Japanese The are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In British France, rioting ensues.
Physicists at publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
IITb The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
All the are drunk. All the Russians are Dutch . Peyote use at an alarming high among stoned .
Native Americans In the the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
middle east The have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
If anyone cares on a day like today...
*...that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
...that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
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