1969 - Neil Armstrong becomes the first man to play Calvinball on the Moon, outsmarting opponent and fellow astronaut Buzz Aldrin by chanting an immunity poem (see:One Small Step) and planting his flag, automatically earning himself 144 Elephant gnuts and claiming the Rank of "Duke of Ham Sandwich". Some debate the legality of this play, questioning whether Armstrong was wearing his black mask under his space helmet, but Armstrong has silenced most of their criticisms through clever use of "Jinx!"
1975 - William Herbert explains Reimann symmetry in a quasi-formatic manifold to sea lions at a Dutch park.
1982 - A law is passed in Botswana that not only legalizes but encourages the use of the bong.
1984 - A Botswanian man mixes a dangerous cocktail of toxic waste, Windex, triple-ply toilet paper and Leprechaun s'mores in his bong. The resulting smokes endow the man with the power to light his middle finger ablaze when using it for insult. In response, local Botswanians are quoted as saying, "Hmm."
2310 - Sea Lions begin developing Science Labs to discuss the great science God William Herbert
Word of the Day
Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power.
Oh great....another award for Todd.....(mutters darkly)....lets all be pleased for him.....(mumble, mumble)..... It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....Todd Lyons! Blasting through his competition, Todd sails to the lead with Richard M. Stallman at his right and OCD in his head. ToddBot2000 by day and Article Mastermind by night, his genius speaks for itself.