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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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May 27:, National Homicide Day
- 2 - World's first homosexual celebrates his 40th birthday by helping create The Church of Tyra.
- 1032 - In England, first "Knocke, Knocke: whoeth art there?" joke performed in public.
- 1703 - Tsar Peter the Great, retitled Tsar Peter the "Meh, Okay".
- 1895 - Oscar Wilde is sent to prison, then released when the hamster never pressed charges.
- 1927 - Researchers in America discover 8th colour of the rainbow; call it 'onion'.
- 1931 - Jesus Christ considers performing the second coming; decides he'd rather get Taco Bell and watch porn.
- 1936 - Freddy Krueger kills himself in his own dreams accidentally. He reincarnates the same day for no reason as Walt Disney.
- 1937 - J.R.R Tolkien commences work on the majestic 'The Matrix: Revolutions'.
- 1947 - Mexico Space Program launches first rocket powered by jumping beans.
- 1955 - J. Edgar Hoover wins the New York Marathon dressed in a tutu.
- 1963 - The Beatles kick Joseph Stalin out of the band. He quickly composes "Back in the USSR" as a mild revenge.
- 1969 - Hippies collect signatures to forbid showers. "They are so concentration camp" is their argument.
- 1974 - Jimi Hendrix makes love to his guitar on stage. He is promptly taken to a hospital where he dies of severe penis shredding.
- 1977 - A small visitor's center opens inside Space Mountain, with its line causing one of the biggest humanitarian disasters of today.
- 1985 - Ronald Reagan sets a new high score for Pac-Man, humiliating former champion Mikhael Gorbachev.
- 1989 - Lenin is sighted in Nebraska.
- 2006 - Midsummer village now has NO MORE PEOPLE TO MURDER
- 2006 - The Vatican, Luxembourg, Malta and Fiji form the Small Countries Alliance - the most dangerous set of allies since the Axis. Together, they have a total population of 800 and double that in nuclear bombs.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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- ...that half of a half is actually more than the original whole?
- ...that typical henchmen will never overthrow their evil boss?
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