“Lock up your daughters!”
“I am the same age as your grandpas. Give an old man a last little thrill”
“The GOP doesn't stand for Great Old Pervert.”
Judge Roy "Slut-Lover" Moore(born February 11, 1947) is a theocratic lunatic from the most boring state of Sweet Home Alabama. He has been accused of sexual harassment by several women, just like with Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and Louis C.K..
Because there's nothing funny about rape and sexual harassment, Uncyclopedia currently has no article on Roy Moore. Therefore, the reader should:
- Respect the fact that Weinstein, Spacey, C.K., and Moore have been so-far accused of unwanted sex acts.
- Keep a close eye on the news.
- Not vote for him.
If none of this is possible, you should probably go to the bathroom and have explosive diarrhea in the toilet.
Big In AlabamaEdit
Roy Moore (natch, Judge Roy Moore), had long been a hero/villain but only in his home state of Alabama. He was twice removed from office for breaking the law, an attribute that gained him a lot of support from the rednecks, evangelicals and all those with one book in the house.
A career of dumb 'ass-ism' made him a natural Democratic Party in the 1960s. This was just before nearly all the Southern Democrats decamped over to the Republican Party would eventually find a new political home. Moore made the switch in the 1980s and since the old Republican party in the state had been more or less moribund for decades, this meant that former ex-Democrats could make it their new home.
Moore's political style (unpolished, incoherent and ending all speeches by whipping out his small gun) made him a hero to 'the base'. This was at a time when Donald Trump was still officially a Democrat.
The National StageEdit
One of Moore's friends in Alabama was Senator Jeff Sessions. He was torn between supporting someone who was a natural ally or being more sensible and go establishment Republican. When Moore beat Sessions appointed stand-in Lex Luthor at the Republican Party primary on a platform of Turbo Trumpism, the Republicans rallied around their candidate despite stage whispers that Moore had a dark history of sexual harassment going back 30 years.
Stories like this and others now leaked out. The Alabama Democrats had chosen for their candidate the uncharismatic Doug Jones. Everyone seemed certain that Moore would win, even with a flood of stories saying that he had been an outrageous sex pest.
President Donald Trump supported Roy Moore and urged voters in Alabama to support the Republican candidate. All to no avail. On December 12th 2017 Roy Moore lost officially to Doug Peters. That seemed to be the end of story. Except Roy Moore is still challenging the verdict of the voters.
See also Edit
- Shopping malls: Girl's pants half off is not what that sign meant Mr. assistant district attorney.
- HowTo:Make crime pay: Apparently any publicity is good publicity in Alabama.
- Politics: The enemy of my enemy is still my enemy if they are middle aged and dating my under aged child; politics makes strange bedfellows indeed.
- Two-Face: No longer the creepiest D.A.