Roundhouse Kicks
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Moses, the man known far and wide for his abilities to arbitrarily part any legs he feels (including those of your mom, your sister, and that one bitch you used to date), has approved this article. Those who dispute his approval shall feel the wrath of the Ten Commandments, Captain Jesus, and the modern Moses.
“That was not just the covenant that royally fucked Sydney just now”
~ Oscar Wilde on Roundhouse Kicks
Roundhouse kicks are a special ass-whoopin' technique devised by Chuck Norris as a way to kill lots of people at once without having to flip out or use ninjas. Despite claims from Mr.T and Vin Diesel, roundhouse kicks are in fact more destructive then both of them combined, and are arguably more powerful then the J-Man himself. Since Chuck invented the technique, thousands of wannabe kung-fu fighters have attempted it, only to have their heads explode as a result Chuck Norris becoming pissed at the sweaty, pimply-faced, man-boobed nerds trying to perform his signature move. Scorpion is only person (other than Chuck, of course) that has mastered it as well as him. When asked how to perform it, Chuck only said "stick your head in between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye" and promptly roundhouse kicked the questioner into next tuesday. It is a documented fact that a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick can be seen from outer space.
[edit] How to perform a roundhouse kick
WARNING: MAY RESULT IN HEAD EXPLOSION.
Leaked from Chuck Norris' personal website, now many wannabe ninjas and kung-fu fighters know how to perform a civilian version of the roundhouse kick.
Step 1. Sow the souls of your foot to the roof of your mouth. This is to prevent your foot from flying off during the execution of the technique.
Step 2. Gather your chi accordingly. Try not to flip out, as it would piss Chuck Norris off even more if he saw someone screw up his technique while actually trying to perform it.
Step 3: Yell out "LONGLIVETHECHUCK!" and twirl your body around in a double-frog blast twist while simultaneously smacking your foot into the target object/person/soon to be dead guy without bringing it out of your mouth. If performed correctly, your results should look similar to Hiroshima, unless your foot came loose, in that case call Australia and tell them it was not just the Covenant that royally fucked Sydney just now.
