Rough Gay Wolf Sex
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“I'd Join the Green Party for some of That *Pant*”
“I can resist everything but tempation. That and Rough Gay Wolf Sex. ”
Rough Gay Wolf Sex is the primary form of energy generation for the the city of San Fransisco, California. In 1992, a sudden dip in fossil fuel supplies forced the California state Congress to take immediate action. When nuclear, wind, and solar power were all deemed either too dangerous or not sweaty enough, a compromise was eventually settled on Rough Gay Wolf Sex.
“God hates your eco-friendly energy!”
edit How Rough Gay Wolf Sex power works
The process by which energy is created in Rough Wolf Sex is similar to pelvic thrust, wherein the potential energy stored in water at a certain height causes the turbines to spin as it flows to a lower level. Unfortunately, turbines of this sort need to be lubricated, and thus are not efficient in the conservation of fossil fuels, and also in some mid-western states a source of free-flowing water is unavailable for damming. No-lube Rough Wolf Sex, on the other hand, harnesses the gaydiation generated by the friction inherent when gay wolves have unlubricated rough sex. How these gayons are transformed into usable electrical energy is a top secret process. The process is much more eco-friendly than the construction of a dam, as well as a lot more gay. One boy commented "I had Rough Gay Wolf Sex with three wolves at once. My stomach hurt afterwards".
There are an estimated 2,000 wolf couples producing energy around-the-clock in a field just outside Austin to provide Dallas with a never-ending flow of clean, renewable power. It's estimated only 30% of wolves participating in the Rough Gay Wolf Sex program are actually gay, and only 70% of those gay couples are in love. As such, wolf morale often falls low. Most wolves are only in the job because they dropped out of high-school, and need to put in 13 hours shifts to support their family at home.
It has been suggested that wolf convicts from the nearby Wolf Penitentiary be brought in for State Labor, under the theory that they'd probably be committing Rough Gay Wolf Rape anyway. However, for reasons unknown, Rough Gay Wolf Rape produces a third less power than consensual Rough Gay Wolf Sex, and bringing criminals into the work environment would likely lower the energy output. Despite this, some people still feel that the convicts need to repay their debt to society one way, and whoring in the Rough Gay Wolf Sex fields as punishment would be justifiable.
edit Exclusivity to San Fransisco, CA, and the Supreme Court
The man who owns the patent on Rough Gay Wolf Sex, Terry Bradshaw, is such a loyal San Fransisco citizen that he outright refuses to license his technology with the rest of the world so that San Fransisco may have the honour of being the only Rough Gay Wolf Sex-powered city. Mr. Bradshaw is the only man who can decipher his blueprints for the process by which the energy is captured. Seeing the obvious use this process could have in removing America from the influence of foreign oil, some congressmen are pushing for legislation that would force Mr. Bradshaw to divulge his secrets for the good of the nation. As one of the senators was heard to say: "One day we hope to live in an America where there's a chicken in every pot, a car in every garage, and gay wolves fucking in every home."
The case eventually reached the Supreme Court and was eventually decided in the monumental United States V. Bradshaw. Bradshaw argued that to invade the Rough Gay Wolf Sex fields would violate the Wolves' privacy. All wolves in the RGWS Fields are consenting adults and, legally, take up their residence there. The attorney representing the United States, Barney Frank, made a counterargument that all forms of Rough Gay power were amoral, and therefore US Senators should be allowed to exploit them for political gain.
The Supreme Court ruled in Bradshaw's favor, 7-2, and he withheld the right to refuse to share any information on the RGWS method of energy production. However, the court also wrote that Bradshaw does not own the concept of Rough Gay Energy at large, and that private interests were free to develop their own methods of Rough Gay Energy production as they pleased.
edit Alternate Forms of Rough Gay Energy
It is unknown why exactly only Rough Gay Wolf Sex can be used to generate power and not Rough Gay Lemur sex or Gentle Loving Llama Sex. In fact, tests for alternate sources have proved disastrous. On April 19, 1997, an accident at a development lab in Brisbane, CT killed all 18 researchers inside when a controlled experiment with Rough Gay Raccoon Sex proved to create a black hole that flickered into existence for mere millionths of a second before dissipating into nothingness. Rumor is their souls still haunt the Indian graveyard the lab was built on top of, and the Indian ghosts who were haunting it first have been since relocated to Indian ghost reservations in Oklahoma.
Despite this, the field of Rough Gay Energy is one that is both new and promising. In 2003, the Massachusetts Institute Of Technology became the first American University to offer classes in Rough Gay Energy Theory. Most courses revolve around discussion, such as possible links between fur sheen and energy production, and there are even classes in Biblical Rough Gay Energy.
Cameras are not allowed in the Rough Gay Wolf Sex fields of Austin, TX. However, a few hand drawn accounts of the process have been released, though they've been heavily censored to not divulge the power harnessing secrets.
A few Internet websites, such as http://www.RoughGayWolfSexConspiracy.com and http://www.TheTruthAboutRoughGayWolfSex.com and http://www.MoveOn.org are dedicated to discovering the mystery that is Rough Gay Wolf Sex, and while they have succeeded in raising toy safety standards, securing funds for a potato museum in Schillay, ID, and passing Act 72 to give the teachers the right to have sex with students - all entirely by accident - none have fully decoded the mysterious blueprints.
Rough Gay Wolf Sex has also been discovered at a Conservative "humor" website called Boom Chicago in support of George Dubya Bush. It warns that the power output of Rough Gay Wolf Sex could be so strong that "terrorists [could] destroy the world after an orgy of rough gay wolf sex!"
“Conservative humor? Isn't that an oxymoronic? Ha!”
edit See also
- (not to be confused with) Bears
- Gay sex
- Marvin's Theory of Evolution (of Lesbians)
|Sexual Fetishes, Paraphilias, and Assorted Perversions|