Rosenborg BK

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Rosenborg Ballklub (RBK) is a football team located in the outskirts of the city Trondheim. Norse written recordings dating some time in the 9th century suggest it was originally established as a cult of heathen god-worship. Throughout the centuries its focus shifted from blood sacrifices to mythological demi-gods such as Ola Bye Riise and Mini Jacobsen, to the fine art of kicking ass in Norwegian First Division. Even so, the club's heritage combined with its advocating of heavy alcohol consumption and use of leather vests led to it being excommunicated by the Pope in 1905. The Norwegian Lutheran Church took offense to this, claiming to have sole rights of moral condemnation north of The Baltic Sea. The dispute remains unresolved, but the Norwegian theocracy is currently working on a religious dogma excpected to clear the legal and religious ramifications.

[edit] Achievements

Rosenborg has the greatest ads in footballing history. Because of this, they remained undefeated in Norwegian football since the late 17th century. Some think their success is a product of a healthy economy, a basic understanding of the game football and the lack of ties to the Catholic Church. Others claim it is a matter dumb luck. The real reason is that they sold their soul to Satan, and it is a widely acknowledged fact that loyal fans of the club could not have been more ignorant and undeserving. Most people think that the strange noise the players of rosenborg and their fannclub (and the rest of trondhjem) make are som sort of comunication (som would even claim it to be a Norwegian dialect) but this is infact a Satanic worship song where they pray for victory. I return for the victory the entire population of thronhjem would forewer be cursed to look so dam ugly and have a 50 point reduction in IQ. This paiment to Satan is only the most obvius, what other develish deals the populatin of Tronhjem have made only the devil knows cause the population of trondhjem is now to stupid to remember. In the last years things have been going downhill fore Rosenborg. Wether this is because deal with satan now has expired ore because satan has realised that a sponsor contrat with Rosenborg is nothing but bad for your public image is still unknown.

In the 1990s, Rosenborg was a "force to be reckoned with" in international football. This was realised when RBK happened to win a match against a non-scandinavian team. The feat was never repeated but added to the myth of Rosenborg being the greatest team in the world

[edit] Legends

Odd Iversen (1945 - ) This man is recognised for scoring tons of goals, but even more for impregnating his wife and fathering a boy who would later go on to playing football in English Premier League.

Nils Arne Eggen (1941 - ) Easily the world's greatest coach Rosenborg ever had. Also responsible for the Truman Doctrine, though he got the name wrong.

Odin With the excommunication from The Catholic Church and The Lutheran Church all tangled-up in new dogma, Rosenborg had nowhere else to turn. This turned out for the best, seeing as Odin encourages both excessive drinking and pillaging.

DDE Norwegian rock band. Has yet to reach the international audience.

Kåre Rønnes (1938 - ) Simply a great footballer. Also a viking.

[edit] Trivia

• Rosenborg BK do not encourage drinking and driving.
• Snus - Recreational drug used by most players.
• Winners go to Valhall, losers go to Nastrand.

[edit] Fun Facts

• Rosenborg BK is also the real Burger King (Rosenborg Edition).