Rope
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“I used it to stop circulation to my dick”
~ Loser of BME Pain Olympics
“Quick, Use Rope!”
~ D&D Skills list
A rope is a common birthday gift for those with suicidal tendencies but are yet too young to buy a rifle. The rope is in its most dangerous (or helpful, depending on what your outlook on life is or how many antidepressants you took this morning) when it is in noose form (see image on right).
Contents |
[edit] 101 Uses for rope
- Suicide
- Murder
- Roping
- tying up things
- Tying down tarps
- Tying knots for knot practice
- Tying things so they don't fall apart
- Tying things to other things
- A slow-burning fuse
- Rope swings
- Tire swings
- Rope ladders
- Ladder ropes
- Tying up people you hate
- Tying up people you don't hate
- Tying a person you hate to a person you don't hate
- Rope sculptures
- Rope art
- Rope sculpture art
- A tether for tether ball
- A tether
- If you already have a rope, another rope makes two ropes
- After you have two ropes, another makes three ropes
- Speaking of which, addition practice
- cut off circulation to your penis
[edit] How to hang yourself
1. First make sure you are depressed. This can help you tell:
| my mood ring |
| |
| fearful uncertain doubtful |
2. Make a noose. (I don't know how! What do you think i am? some kind of faggy depressed kid?)
3. Stand on a stool with noose around neck.
4. Jump off stool.
Congratulations! You are dead!
[edit] iRope
Along with the new generation of iPods, which are targeted at teenagers, Apple has released the iRope, aimed at emos. A very similar product is expected from Microsoft in the close future.
[edit] Decline in Popularity
Sadly the rope has seen a decline in use as it has been discovered that many other items can be used in suicide instead and they don't prickle your neck as much.


