Rope

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search
Strange.. 27 year-old lean WWE super-stud Randy Orton's rope torture by bulky 61 year-old has-been Dusty Rhodes
Here comes the noose to end all your pain!

I used it to stop circulation to my dick

~ Loser of BME Pain Olympics

Quick, Use Rope!

~ D&D Skills list

A rope is a common birthday gift for those with suicidal tendencies but are yet too young to buy a rifle. The rope is in its most dangerous (or helpful, depending on what your outlook on life is or how many antidepressants you took this morning) when it is in noose form (see image on right).

In case you've got a real thick neck.
Michael Jackson has many imaginative uses for rope.

Contents

[edit] 101 Uses for rope

  1. Suicide
  2. Murder
  3. Roping
  4. tying up things
  5. Tying down tarps
  6. Tying knots for knot practice
  7. Tying things so they don't fall apart
  8. Tying things to other things
  9. A slow-burning fuse
  10. Rope swings
  11. Tire swings
  12. Rope ladders
  13. Ladder ropes
  14. Tying up people you hate
  15. Tying up people you don't hate
  16. Tying a person you hate to a person you don't hate
  17. Rope sculptures
  18. Rope art
  19. Rope sculpture art
  20. A tether for tether ball
  21. A tether
  22. If you already have a rope, another rope makes two ropes
  23. After you have two ropes, another makes three ropes
  24. Speaking of which, addition practice
  25. cut off circulation to your penis

[edit] How to hang yourself

1. First make sure you are depressed. This can help you tell:

my mood ring
fearful
uncertain
doubtful

2. Make a noose. (I don't know how! What do you think i am? some kind of faggy depressed kid?)

3. Stand on a stool with noose around neck.

4. Jump off stool.

Congratulations! You are dead!

[edit] iRope

iRope, the worlds most popular life taking device

Along with the new generation of iPods, which are targeted at teenagers, Apple has released the iRope, aimed at emos. A very similar product is expected from Microsoft in the close future.

[edit] Decline in Popularity

The realization that a tie can be substituted for rope in a noose lead to lowered rope purchases in 2006

Sadly the rope has seen a decline in use as it has been discovered that many other items can be used in suicide instead and they don't prickle your neck as much.

[edit] See Also

Personal tools
projects
In other languages