Rohypnol
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“Tastes awful, makes your throat sore, and you wake up with a bad pain in your sphincter. I recommend against it.”
~ Your mom on Rohypnol
Rohypnol is a chemical substance also referred to as "roofies," flunitrazepam, and sometimes mistakenly referred to as Ativan, Valium, Xanax, and often mistaken for alcohol or water. It is most commonly used as a treatment for an increasingly rare condition called virginity.
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[edit] History
Rohypnol was invented by Gordon Brown who tried to use it to treat Margaret Thatcher, without success: she remained a virgin. Greatly disappointed about this failure, he disposed of his stash of Rohypnol somewhere on the Galapagos Islands, where it was later discovered by Charles Darwin. The Russians reinvented the drug in the 1950s to its present form. And it was screwed up.
Rohypnol became especially popular in the 1960's, when virginity was a world wide epidemic.
Since the late 1990's, the need for Rohypnol has drastically been reduced, thanks to the efforts of George W. Bush, who has barred sex education from classrooms, making young women more likely to engage in sex without having to be treated with Rohypnol first. In addition, Bush campaigned for the treatment of virginity at an early stage, and has set up an educational program and a special treatment facility for virgins at Guantanamo Bay resort in Cuba. The patients who are treated there are predominately unattractive males of foreign origin and have thus been deemed "enemy combatants" by the Bush administration; as a result, they are not permitted to mate with the mainstream population and are forced to have sex with each other, or with inanimate objects, or both.
In the times of today, president Obama has decided to ban all rights for American citizens. therefore, if you wanted to mate with A MONKEY, no can do.
Weapon of choice used commonly by Nathan Rossa.
[edit] Date rape Drug
There's is no evidence that Rohypnol or (Flunitrazpam) does lead to unusual sexual behavior. All though Oscar Wilde was a famous user he also considered that guy very lucky!
Before they invented a drug there was prehistoric rohypnol. This was an iron bar, delivered to either the back of the head, rendering the victim unconcious, or the base of the spine, leaving them paralyzed. This so called 'Sleepstick' is still used now, as a cheaper and more effective method of rohypnol. It was used to rape. This was revived recently to great effect by the learned Messrs J.Rowley, H.Boteler and J.Boteler, the Dominating Daddies, who also invented OTAB, Cash Machine, and, with the help of Mr J.Salfield, Lloyds.
[edit] Side effects
One of the most common side effects of using rohypnol, is insanity. For this reason, Rohypnol is often referred to as the Ape-rape-drug, as it can lead to irrational behavior, such as bestiality.
Other hilarious side effects include unwanted pregnancy, STDs such as syphilis, and suicide.
Rohypnol is also believed to cause some sort of memory loss, but nobody really remembers.
Gbl is sometimes used instead or as a substitute when "roofies are not available" this is now less common due to the massive potentionation caused by alcohol to rohypnol. this severely depresses the breathing function resulting in dead weight not a date rape victim. bring the black bags boy we got another G case.
[edit] Pros
Livens up your average high school party.
Makes ugly people seem much more attractive, thus making rape a much more enjoyable experience for all.
[edit] Cons
-> May cause penis to shrivel. -> May cause deadness
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