Rohan

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The Riddermark
Rohan
Rohanflag
England 030206b
(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: Men of the Riddermark, Attack!
Anthem: The Ballad of Helm Hammerhand
Rohan
Capital Garth Close
Largest city Extended masturbation
Official languages Gibberish and Somalian
Government Monarchy
Masai Warrior
Independent
Area 3 ft wide n 2 foot tall
Population Ron
currency horse heads
Time zone All of 'em he's so fuckin fat!
Internet TLD .rdk
Calling code 555
ROHAN!

Rohan is a some bare fat neek in Grey Court currently at war with Tim Westwood. It is famous for a people who love a cheap fuck. Or it may be the popular gay biker gang of the same name.

edit History of Rohan

edit Early History

Founded by Chris the Young in 15000 BC when he moved his people down the thames due to the common problems of overcrowding and an increase in Somalis from the north. In a brave stroke of diplomacy Eorl managed to gain the lands seen in the map to the right by entering into a strategic alliance with the weakening nation of Gondor. They gained pretty much everything except Anorien and the tower of Isengard The people of Rohan, known as the Rohirrim and a multitude of other names,spread like wildfire covering both the East and West Emnets, as far south as the White Mountains, north to Fangorn Forest and as far West as most likely to the Gap of Rohan. i am a tasty farmer

In 14500 the people of Dunland tried to take back their lands back, but they lost because against overwhelming odds, but through their courage did they did take Isengard.

edit War with Mordor Siam

Hazalim of Rohan war with Dark Side Chandravarman I of Siam.most Rohan have Alliance with Gondor to Destroy Mordor Siam.Siam have many Allie such Mon Kingdoms,Funan,Isan and other Tai Kigndoms.hazalim make Burma become allie because Burman hate Mon Kingdoms.in 624 Siam war with Rohan The War is most People Dead in Indochina early Middles Age history.Hazalim allie with Bruma and Sevaral of Assam Ruler.The War is unknown the war end is not record? some Siamese record war end in 640 or some Rohan record in 638.

edit Role in the war of the ring

Yes, like modern days people went to war over trivial things. Like roses a guys ear or a year. The same thing happened in these days. After being stupid enough to give Saruman the keys of Isengard, which they just magically got, oh and did I mention that they were slowly becoming a world power because Gondor was getting crappier and crappier? I did? that's good, he decided to create an army of Super Orcs and go and kill things. So that's what he did. With the nicking of some Hobbits up north and the arrival of some important people the army was promptly beaten at the battle of Helms Deep.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Rohan.

After opening this can of whoop ass they moved to help the increasingly crappier nation of Gondor. Furthering their killing of evil they destroyed an army at the battle of the Pelannor Fields by foolishly charging into an army several thousand times larger then themselves, did I mention that was how they won the other battle?

They then went on to help buy some time in a battle at the black gates of Mordor which was won because the other army just decided to run away. It had something to do with Eagles and volcanoes and stuff like that, I wasn't paying attention when all this was happening.

edit Later History

Well good things happened now that evil was gone from the world so they just decided to be even better, increasing their strength and such to become the best nation in the world. They were destroyed around 6500 BC when someone decided to try everything again. On an unrelated note, Rohan has a very nice town-bakery, which is open 7 days a week and serves a variety of sweet and savoury treats.

edit Government

The government of Rohan is *technically* a monarchy but it seems that the monarch only does something when the need arises, preferring to rule his own small city of Edoras and leaving everyone else to run their own towns/villages/trees/whatever.

However, in recent devlopments the church of scientology has stepped up, forming, the United Churchgoing Wackos of Rohan.

In 1832, the government was temporarily overthrown by Orc madmen, but order was soon restored.

edit Geography

Rohan is a nation of sweeping plains stretching from the Anduin to the east to the Gap of Rohan to the west. It is believed that there are some settlements along the Adorn beyond the Gap but that is debatable. The northern border is to the Fangorn forest and the Misty Mountains to the north and the White Mountains to the south.

edit Geography and settlement patterns

Typically the people of Rohan have permanent settlements nearer to the mountains, but not in them because of the ghosts, but are more nomadic on the plains, however permanent settlement does exist there. Northern settlement stays away from the forest because of the evil beings that exist there, and eastern settlements are usually more fortified because evil things come from across the river.

edit Religion

Since the world was filled with lots and lots of evil the Gods didn't really want to take a side. However it should be noted that Thor has expressed interest into becoming the patron God but the rest of the Vanir are not as enthusiastic. Also, most gods think this article sucks ass, just like Middle Earth, and really don't want to get involved.

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