Roger

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 13:28, February 22, 2010 by MadMax (talk | contribs)

(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to: navigation, search
“"To Roger" is English for the act of intercourse. And I Rogered many Rogers in my day.”
~ Roger Moore on Rogering


Roger was the name of three ancient Icelandic monarchs who visited the Christ child in a Reykjavik manger. It subsequently became a favourite name choice for further kings of Iceland.

Roger I had no gift to bring, and so sang a beautiful rendition of "Who Are You" to the baby. But the baby was asleep, so didn't see, hear, or cry, thus inspiring King Roger to compose a rock opera about a deaf, dumb, and blind kid and his disciples.

Roger II gave the baby a "thumbs up" and prophesized he would be the star of numerous motion pictures such as Jesus Christ Superstar and The Passion of the Christ. The Christ child responded with a "sucked thumb."

TheJeeMan
Jesus as a grown up, reciprocating Roger II's gift years later

Roger III offered the baby a cigar and a role in his upcoming animated feature, though Christ would later comment "if he thinks he's been framed, just look what happened to me."

Jesus had fond memories of the three monarchs as he grew up. He befriended Roger III's son, aptly named Roger IV, who later set a legendary baseball record without the aid of steroids (though it is rumoured Christ himself may have supplied him with Frankincense and Myrrh). Jesus even christened one of his fisherman disciples after the kings because he made him laugh, though in the end this rather jolly Roger would betray him, staging a coup to briefly become Roger V. When he found out that he could only attain the Kingship of Iceland, but never become King of the Jews, he headed back to the seas to make a living collecting things worth a whole lot more than fish.

Roger VI was present at the resurrection, allegedly doing a double (07) take and reiterating his great-great grandfather's question, Who Are You? - to which the arisen man replied, "Christ. Jesus Christ."

Roger VII was a 13th-century former Franciscan Friar who covertly kept his kingship committed to scientific scripture study and alliterative interpretations of God's good gospel.

Roger VIII ducked his own military draft in the name of pacifism.

Roger IX, better known as "King of the Road."

Roger X was the king of Folk, Country, and other AM radio tunes that are endlessly played in elevators, on hold, and at dinner parties everywhere. The general public was anxiously awaiting the Second Coming of Christ in hopes he will be our saviour from the current King Roger's tormenting rule.

Roger XI wanted to outdo Roger I and composed another rock opera which involved the alienation of Christ with the world by constructing an imaginary wall and talking like a racist dictator to his fellow fans. Its expected to be presented on Broadway on the Judgement Day, just after Pink Floyd's long-awaited reunion concert with the resurrected Syd Barrett.

Roger XII was extremely unlucky with women, striking out over 4000 times. He gave up on love and followed in the footsteps of Roger IV, playing baseball. He had an excellent pitching record.

Personal tools
projects