Rodents

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Rodent
Common rodent

Rodents are recognized as the small animals who make nests out of your garbage. The shelf life of a rodents is 2-3 (hours). For best results, store your rodent in a cool, dark place and be sure to feed it a healthy diet of hobos regularly.

Mechanism of Action

Armrodent
Large rodent with weapon

Being that rodents are three legged creatures, they are known to be prime legged. These creatures are rare, and are coveted by the FCC, or Federal Communications Commission. Contrary to popular belief that rodents are actually four legged creatures, they actually have three legs and one tail. People confuse the tail for a leg. The tail is considered a delicacy in certain third world countries.

History

Early history

Rodents managed to kill half the world's population back in 555 AD. But amazingly Canada wasn't affected due to the high Maple Syrup intake. Obviously, this means they're smarter than us. See also Jesus.

Mice, rats and other pests

Kennyrats
Kenny is the main source of food for most rodents.

Rodents traveled from the Old World to the New World with Christopher Columbus when he began directing those adorable Harry Potter movies. Once Columbus docked, the first rodent sprung from his flesh and began to multiply.

Diseases carried from rodents from this incidence included the Black Plague, AIDS, and the need of small children everywhere to bother their parents about procuring a hamster which they will later use for deviant sexual practices.

Efforts have been made to eradicate rodents from the earth, including the Great Rat Purge of 1977, but scientists insist that they need these wretched vectors of sin for their "research work."

Certain of the more sadistic workers of the Centre of Science and Industry in Columbus, Ohio have actually managed to train rodents to play basketball, presumably by electrocuting the tiny beasts every time they missed a basket.

Australian Folklore

There is a wild creature in Austrailia called the The Giant Black Albino Austrailian Three Headed Man Eating Fire Breathing Winged Rodent. It is a giant fierce beast which has since been dormant for the past 500 years. It lives a big giant cave. In the old times the wild beast would come out and burn a couple people just in malice. They say it was.

See also

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