Rochdale
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Rochdale (Pakistan) is known as the best place to live for pakis. The editors of many other entrys on this site may say that their city, town or shithole is the best place to live. How can i prove this? One example would be the millions of pakis moving here very year.
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[edit] Where be Rochdale?
Why would you want to know were Rochdale is? You don't it a paki scum infested shithole with nothing but smelly pakis running corner shops and dodgy takeaways. If you really wanted to know you could open an atlas or map and find out.
Rochdale is a Lancashire principality, created by a Lancastrian entity, Rochdale lies somewhere in the 3rd dimension, between Narnia and New Moston. Apparently, from ancient texts, Rochdale used to be in the Atlantic Ocean, but due to infrastructure and transport problems, it was dismantled brick by brick and relocated to Lancashire. This caused great havoc amongst the residents of Rochdale (known as "PeoplewhatliveinRochdale"), as the mayor at the time, Lisa Stansfield, had forgotten to tell them about the "big move". Silly mare.
Rochdale appears on the earthly plane but once every sixty years, saying: "Ee, it's not like it was in th'owd days," "Us 'ad rickets but us were happy" and "Tha'd not get a tuppeny bun out of Philip Snowden."
[edit] Famous Rochdalians
- Malik "Fraudi" Bros
- Mohammed Ali
- Omer Khan
- Saleem AKA Crazy Man with 100 kids and counting
- Mohammed Mohammed
- Tayib Tariq
- Osama Bin Laden
- Aqib Akbar
- Fida Charsi
- Mohammed
- Mohammed
- Dr dentist Malik AKA Teethbasher
- Mohammed
- Mohammed
Messrs. Mohammed Boots and Sons were prominent local assassins until the Gypsy Lane Watch Committee adopted English Common Law in 1913
[edit] What's to do in Rochdale
Amongst the paki residents of Rochdale, pointing and laughing are the two greatest white boys of the countless entertainments available in modern-day Lancashire. Pointing is usually done towards pakiss, pakis, pakis, asians, pakis and more pakis, whilst laughing is only ever done at Pakis, Scum bag pakis, Smelly pakis and Allah. Pointing whilst laughing is considered a great taboo in Rochdale, and is severely frowned upon. The last man to be caught pointing whilst laughing is currently serving time in an Broadmoor, although witnesses did say that the man wasn't pointing, just merely saluting Hilter.
Tourists are encouraged to visit the Great Mosque of Rochdale, built as the tomb of the Mohammed and just a short bus ride away from the local corner shop called Dina's
One of the residents' favorite passtime is contracting STDs. This can be done very easily around rochdale due to the abundance of slutty teens and OAPs. Favorite STDs include:
pakification
Rochdale's nightlife is, indeed, memorable but may be treated by repeated applications of Keating Powder.
[edit] Rochdale In The Past
Yes, that's right even Rochdale has one.
It is traditional amongst true rochdalese people to marry their grandmother upon reaching their thirteenth birthday. However, although encouraged this is no longer law, and most rochdalese have common law relationships with small rodents bound with electrical tape.
no good here now
[edit] The Future of Rochdale
Seen as Rochdale is a Lancastrian principality, created by a Lancastrian entity, Rochdale has little future other than being buried under a slag heap. Experts have predicted that Rochdale will never be able to shake its hate of gays, drunkeness and racist impressions. If you are concerned about this, why don't you discuss this with our wonderful leader, The wonderful Harold Shipman. But be warned, our messiah will not speak to you if you are black or if you are worried about "odours" or "facial hair". You woman. Why don't you step into his surgery and tell him how much you hate our town.
It is easier to describe Rochdale's status by using a well-known quote from a celebrity;
Rochdale is simply everything, and yet simply nothing. - Lester Piggott.
I'm sure you'll agree this sums up Rochdale pretty well. No? "it`s no good here now.!" to paraphrase a legend around these part`s. mr d bogsy phd vd
| Ancient Palatine of Lancashire | ||
| Lancaster | Blackburn | Burnley | Padiham | Liverpool | St Helens | Wigan Preston | Manchester | Blackpool | Rochdale | Stockport | 
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