Robot Ninja

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"Robot Ninjas are amongst my favourite kind of bed partner."

~ Oscar Wilde on Robot Ninjas

“WTF? Robot Ninjas? They'll never work. Believe It!”

~ Uzamaki Naruto on Robot Ninjas

“Not real ninjas. Programming ninjas is for squares.”

~ The Magic Ninja on Robot Ninjas

Originating in Japan roughly 2000 years ago between the Yayoi and Kofun periods in Japanese history, Robot Ninjas are amongst the most travelled of the robot types. Excelling in stealth and surprise, as well just plain being able to flip out and killing everybody, the Robot Ninja outpaced their human counterparts by a measure of almost four to one. While a ninja's body is a dangerous weapon, a robot ninja's body can change into countless dangerous weapons. In battle, a robot ninja would win based solely on the fact they are so advanced that they can see another ninja and kill him in so many ways that he would dead before he could see it coming.

[edit] History

Because robot ninja makers rarely left anything in writing and almost never boasted of their achievements, development of the ninja robot is shrouded in secrecy, making the great majority of stories circulating about them are difficult to prove. Minamoto no Yoshitsune (Kofun Period?), who employed the ninja robots as a major weapon in his victories, is said in a popular folktale to have been educated by a Tengu to learn the techniques involved in creating ninja robots. In truth, an enclave of Swiss clockmakers who had just arrived in Japan taught him.

One of the earliest robot ninja craftspeople, Togakure-ryū, reportedly originated his techniques in the late Heian era. Iga and Kōga were both, according to legend, crafted out of the same piece of metal upon Togakure-ryū's anvil. These two ninjabots were also two of the most famous bots of ninjadom, and were often pitted against each other in bits of fan fiction. In reality, they were allies and worked together in mutual defence pacts, often times known to combine into one massive robot ninja. They both claim that they originated the idea that would eventually become Voltron and all derivates thereafter.

The few records surrounding the creation of the robot ninja date from the Kamakura period. A famous blacksmith and philanthropist, Kusunoki Masashige, used some quite ingenious techniques during the crafting of his robots, with records indicating that he spent a good deal of time studying the various fighting methods of the different ninja clans and incorporating what he learned into the designs of the robots he crafted. His collection of meticulously kept notebooks and blueprints granted a great deal of insight into how these robots were created. Almost all we know about the ninja robot came from his records, and many of the techniques he developed are still used today in the creation of new ninja robots.

The Kamakura period was generally a peaceful one, and many robots were employed in sparring matches, rather than in direct combat on the battlefield. While this provided a good boost to the economy, spurring the crafting of new ninja bots, many thought the practice was wasteful of the ninjabot's true nature.

In the Sengoku Period, also known as the Warring States period, ninja robots flourished as a war was often determined by how well warlords collected information. Almost all famous daimyō had ninjabot under their control and they served as their eyes and ears, sometimes as their hands. Some daimyō were rumoured to be ninja robots themselves. The clan of Sanada, the most famous member being Sanada Yukimura, was reportedly a ninja robot clan. This is widely agreed due to the successful defence of their castle with only around 300 against an overwhelming force of 750,000 led by Tokugawa Hidetada. Their amazing tactics, complete with the mandatory flipping out and killing everybody, has given them a legendary status.

In Edo period, ninja robots became popular heroes in books and plays. Many ninja robot powers such as becoming invisible, jumping over tall fences, casting spells and calling up a giant toad as large as a medium-sized building, were all developed in response to these accounts of the ninjabot (excepting the giant toad bit; that's just silly). One of the lesser known contributions made by ninja robots is the furthering of research into rocketry and jet packs, which they later put to good use in their covert movements.

At the end of Edo period, the ninjabot's service were once again needed. Many were called up to accompany delegates that met ambassadors from abroad. Now equipped with electric scissors many of them may have secretly been involved in protecting these ambassadors. With this, almost all historical records end.

[edit] Documenteries

Because of the numerous insidents of the Robot Ninjas, many documenteries were made of the lives. The three major documenteries made were Life and Times of the Robot Ninjas, Don't Ever Hide from Robot Ninjas, and the most famous documentery, Run For Your Life or You'll Be Raped By The Robot Ninjas. All the documenteries talked with the Robot Ninja Veterins. They also talked with Godzilla, The Robot Pirates, and Maozilla. What each said about the Robot Ninjas were that if you ever had were in trouble as a kid, you would blame it on the Robot Ninjas. The Robot Ninjas would not make comments after they had heard this.