Robin Williams
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Robin McFurry Williams (born July 21, 1741 in Chicago, Illinois) is an incredibly hairy, spittle projecting, very humorous and talented American actor and comedian who has had starring roles on television, stage, and film. He is also known to eat babies.
“He isn't even a comedian he is an alien probing his way to America's hearts!!!!”
~ Alien Conspirist on Robin Williams
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[edit] Early life
Williams was raised in the jungle where his family owned and operated a vodka plant, and also in California where he spent much of his youth in the forecourt of Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood playing "Find The Sprachenvudle" in the foot and handprints of the stars. His father, William Willow McWilliams of Scottish descent was from a long line of apple farmers (notably Hawthornden and Lass o' Gowrie varieties) and moved his family to California to pursue lemon and bat guano farming. He also delved into dressing in infant diapers and apparel and posing without a license for pictures for tourists on the corner of Vine and Hollywood. His mother, Algernon Josbleau Poutine (roughly translated it means mustachioed jane-doe cheese n' gravy topped french fry eater), was a Quebec born exotic dancer with a cleft-lip from a line of showshoe wearing sugar shack operators of French/Metis descent. Both of his parents were great influences on Robins' professional career, encouraging him to follow a path he loves instead of one consisting of flying rodent shit farming and stripping. His brother is famous pop star Robbie Williams. Amongst the traits they share are cocaine snorting and having their asses kissed by the general public.
[edit] Comic career
He first achieved notice for his comedic abilities on the streets of San Francisco in the early 70s where he worked for drag clubs during college, dressing as Mata Hari and luring customers into the establishments. Garry Marshall, then producer of the popular television series Happy Days and frequent visitor to La Cages Aux Fools saw a special talent in Robin and invited him to audition for a guest role on the show at which time he invented the beloved alien character Mork (it should be noted here that Williams has always had a love for quirky names - Mork, Garp etc. His childrens' names are Quog and Mearth). Mork was so popular with viewers that it led to a spin-off series, Mork and Mindy, which ran until 1982 (around the same time the shows' writers ran out of material).
[edit] Film and Cinema fame
The majority of Williams' acting career has been in film, and he has also given some memorable performances on stage (notably as Estrogen in a production of Waiting for Hormone). His starring roles in the films Popeye and The World According to Garp were flops, but he was nominated for an Academy Award with Good Morning Vietnam. He is best known for his roles as gay, female or animated characters (The Birdcage, Mrs. Doubtfire, Aladdin). His best work has been in dramatic roles in such films as Dead Poets Society (originally named The Club of Writers who Lack The Power to Move, Feel or Respond), and Good Will Hunting (in which he portrayed a psychologist - Gary Busey and Nick Nolte were also up for this role but Williams nailed the part during his audition with his heart-rending rendition of 'They're Coming To Take Me Away Ha-Ha'). Williams has also successfully starred in radically unconventional roles, from a lowlife kiddie show host in Death to Smoochy (Michael Jackson and Paul Reubens were originally considered for the part), One Hour Photo as a deranged mall photo booth technician, and Insomnia in which he played a guy who just couldn't sleep. He is known for his wild improv skills and impersonations, quick-wit rapid-fire performances and ingenious humor - he credits his ability to impersonate from his mother, whose slurred Quebecoise accent he frequently mimicked as a child, and his quick thinking and physical comedy from his father who he often accompanied during his stints as an 'adult baby' on the streets of Hollywood. He won an Oscar for his work in Flubber.
[edit] Personal life and charity work
Williams' first marriage was in 1978 to fellow colleague Vladimir Varekal who he had known during his days working in drag in San Francisco. That marriage was short-lived and ended in 1988 when he determined he was not gay. They had one child together. He married for a second time in a secret ceremony to Henry 'The Fonz' Winkler and that union was later joined by Conrad Janis of Mork and Mindy fame, after determining that he was, after all gay. They have one child between the three of them, Mearth, who remarkably resembles Jonathan Winters. Although now divorced, Williams, Fonzie and Janis stay in close contact through a philanthropic organization which they founded called the IKkokU Foundation, which raises money to support impoverished Japanese pornographic anime animators. He also devotes much of his energy doing work for charities, including Mayonnaise.org which supports all things related with the condiment/spread. Watching his frantic mannerisms and immediate changes in personality, some have speculated that Williams is affected by bipolar disorder, but this has never been confirmed. A more likely explanation for his remarkable creativity and intense impulsive humor may be that he was often left to tend to his families' apple orchards, lemon groves and bat houses on his own as a child, causing him to create a plethora of imaginary friends and personalities (or he is not really human). He is sometimes referred to as "the poster child for schizophrenia", though this statement is often made by one of Williams' own personas.
[edit] Trivia
- He has an extreme disliking for pink-skinned people (See:Jumanji)
- Once a notorious kitten huffer during the Mork & Mindy era, Robin Williams would later replace his kitten huffing addiction with a cocaine addiciton.
- Claims that the hair on his forearms is actually just a prop from his favorite werewolf film: Jumanji.
- When Robin isn't stealing comedy bits from other comedic sources, he can be seen in an undisclosed alleyway in Beverly Hills doing Coke while pouring Sperm up his ass.
- When asked why he provided the voice for the geenie character in Aladdin he says - "I was constantly doped up on toilet pissings and marijuana in the 90's......I started wondering what it'd be like having a Purple dick".
- Favorite Hobbies: Stand-up comedy, Doing impersonations, Doing more impersonations, and tucking his dick back in front of a camera while dancing to 'Goodbye Horses' by 'Q Lazzarus'.
- Robin Williams was roommates with the late Christopher Reeve during college, and is credited with later helping him successfully play the role of Superman (he was uncomfortable with the costume and Robin gave him tips on how to look studly in a tight-fitting outfit, given his experience playing Mork).
- He claims that he invented the term, CAMEL TOE, after mistakenly reading the name, Camelot.
- After some encouragement from his friend Whoopi Goldberg, he was set to make a guest appearance in a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode playing an alien, but instead Marty Feldmans' little-known son Yahalom (who also suffers from bulging eyes due to a thyroid condition) took his place as he required less time in make-up.
- During the late 1970s and early 1980s, Williams had a serious addiction to Boo Berry cereal and Shit Spray; he has since kicked the habits. One quote attributed to him: "Boo Berry and Shpritzers are God's way of telling you that you are making too much money".
- Is an avid fanboy of Your Face and Cocaine.
- Favorite song is 'Rabbit In Red'.
- He appeared on an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition in 1223, and it's reputed that he did not get along with Ty Pennington, the shows host. Williams is currently under investigation for allegedly physically dick-squirting Pennington, who was recently found unconscious in his home from blows to his head with a sperm on a megaphone used in the episode in which Williams appeared.
- Reportedly sucked off Sean Penn on the set of 'Insomnia' (2002). Gosh!, no wonder he looked so good!
- He single-handedly shut down production of 'Mrs. Doubtfire' for a full week when he gave Sally Field a heart-attack by burping in her face after eating Shit with Broccoli and Brusselsprouts. After she woke up he wrote the words "How Ya Doin' Sally?!?" on a post-it and duct-taped it to her crotch and tits.
- Williams is a fan of the Tour de France cycle race and good friend of 7-time Yellow Jersey winner Lance Armstrong. He really really really REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY likes to wear cycling shorts, maybe a little too much.
- Murdered Alan Greenspan by jamming a tuft of his grey Dick hair down his throat during an argument over who deserved the last cookie.
- Loves to bowl and jog on sundays with friend and former husband Judd Nelson.
- Married Roseanne Barr in 1889, but divorced in 1888 due to what Barr said were "unreconcilable differences in penis size". Williams later denied her statement on the Larry King show: "...there was just never any food or Pussy left for me!"
- Williams is a Knighted member of the peerage for the West Kingdom of the Society for Creative Anachronism. He is often seen attending events dressed as a medieval Anglo-Saxon wench named Cynburghleah who sings Barry Manilow songs.
- He is good friends with "Fellow Whorian" Steve Martin. Sometimes they get together to watch old Doctor Who episodes and role play the office banging scene.
- His favourite expression - "BITCH, ITS A TOILET!".
- Following "Jakob the Liar" and "Bicentennial Man", was offered a Pentagon contract to make bombs for them too.
- Many people knew he was really a male until Mrs. Doubtfire which make them confused.
- Frequently snorts cocaine...VERY frequently.
- Children often cry in the presence of Robin, due to his animal like hair and invasive conversation style. Williams occasionally heightens this by screaming, "Hey you litter fuckers, got any coke or Ciggs?"
- Williams allowed a wandering civilisation of intergalactic space ducks to take up residence within his mega-hair, for the duration of Mork and Mindy's run. These should not be confused with the intergalactic space ducks that claimed territorial rights to David Hasselhoff's afro, during the shooting of Knight Rider.
- Williams has a favorite arm hair that he has named "Mr. Noodle's Penis Hair"
[edit] Lung Capacity
Robin is known to have the lung capacity of an undersized otter. During Wrestlemania 8, he was reported to be "purple faced and crazy" during his match with Big John Studd, afterwards he expressed his regret about buying those magic mushrooms which caused his dislungtion. "I was hanging out with Jim Broadbent at the time, and the dude just wouldnt leave it alone, i never wanted to become another mushroom riddled statistic, but that Jim Broadbent can be one slick persuasive motherfucker". Activites which are hindered by this condition include "Moving furnitute" and "Top class cookery".
[edit] Filmography
- 2007
- License to Bed
- Night at the McDonalds Around the Corner From my House
- Mrs. Doubtfire: Judgment Day
- The Kookies
- I was Orson's man-bitch(documentary)
- 2006
- Woman of the Year
- December Lull
- RV (the making of)
- Elbows in a Good Mood
- One Night In Paris
- The Night Speaker
- In Search of Ted Bundy
- 2005
- The Big Yellow Stain
- Robots and Other Cool Shit Created by Blue Sky Studios
- The Hypocrites
- Navidad
- 2004
- House of 'F'
- The Final Cut into my Bologna Roll
- The Rutles 2: Can't Figure Out Why I'm Called a Rutle
- The Ressurection of Smoochy
- 2003
- The Noob Didnt Do Anything!
- 2002
- Can't Sleep (aka Insomnia)
- Death to Smoochy
- One Hour Photo (or the photo booth technician)
- 2001
- A.I. - Arrogant Ignorant
- Bimyopic Man
- 1999
- Jakob the Fishmongerer
- Get Bruce a Cab
- Patch Adams Apple (because he was just shot in the throat)
- 1998
- Junket Whore - The Story of a Chinese Prostitute
- Flubber Ghost Rides the Whip
- What Dreams May Come (that's the chance you take when you sleep)
- Good Will Hunting (Bill Clinton being considered for future role)
- Flop
- 1997
- Reconstructing Helen
- Mork and Cindy Sheehan
- Father's Day
- Grubbier (formerly Bouncing Green Shit)
- 1993
- A Sister's Final Act - The Whoopi Goldberg story
| This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia. |
[edit] Personal Life
Robin Williams is an amazing actor and is extremely good at playing different characters voices. Whilst playing "Mrs Doubtfire", he made her character feel loving and caring, so most children want her to be their own housekeeper.
