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Mine is this big.

“I can offer you the Fifth or the Thirteenth!”
~ Robert Mueller
“I'm a sonofabitch”
~ Robert Mueller

Robert Mueller (also known as Bob Mule, Rob Ghoul) is the former American Spook/Soldier/Lawyer who is undertaking the investigation into the well known New York crime family, the Trumpoleones. He has been researching the family since he was given the task to investigate Donaldodo Trumpoleone and his family, Donaldino Junior, Erico Stupido, Iwanka and Jeraldo Krushtoe.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Robert Mueller.

Mueller was called in by the Department of Justice after the Trumpoleones shot their rivals the Bushido and the Clintopanties crime families in what became known as the 2016 Pussygate Massacre. The murders are alleged to have beeen undertaken by out-of-towners from Moscow, Russia in an attempt to hide the Trumpoleones involvement. Since then Donaldodo has called himself the King of New York and the Boss of Bosses, Jack of the Asses, titles otherwise known as the office of the President of the United States.

Origins

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John Kerry and Robert Mueller. Or the other way round.

Mueller (born August 7, 1944) is John Kerry's (born December 11, 1943) younger brother. However politically they are far apart. Mueller is a trade marked Republican whilst Kerry became a Communist whilst working/sleeping with Jane Fonda and North Vietnam. Mueller was with John McCain but they fell out when McCain was captured by North Vietnam and Mueller got away disguised as an ass. Something his brother also liked to do when avoiding paying his bills.

Like his brother, Mueller joined the USA army to help North Vietnam win the war in the 1970s. In contrast, 'Trumpo' and the Bushido Crime Family were defending their country from the FBI.

Law Enforcement

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Crippled by the Feds. What's wrong with cleaned up money?

Following his war experiences, Mueller decided to join the Deep State and work for the Shadow FBI. He managed to convince many that he wasn't John Kerry's brother or a Democrat. Because the Republican party had poor vetting abilities then, Mueller was accepted as one of them. Now it was time to take on New York's crime families. Starting with the Trumpoleones and their main associates including, lawyers, pimps, lawyer-pimps, soldiers and clowns (apprentice soldiers).

As a dry run for his later criminal investigations, Mueller started with the respectable New York politician John Paul Gotti III. This saw Gotti III convicted of mispelling his tax returns which saw him receive a lenient 999 year sentence. Next Mueller started on the Trumpoleones. He managed to have them bankrupted when the Trumpoleone Atlantic City gambling business collapsed. But in the course of this action Mueller's identity was exposed. He had to go fully legit and run the open FBI. The Trumpoleones could breathe easier - though poorer.

The Investigation reignites

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The Trumpoleones make their move in the Birther Day Massacre.

Mueller's profile was to remain very low. His brother John Kerry received more press interest during this time. This changed in when the Trumpoleones started to attack the infamous Irish-Kenyan Chicago crime family, the O'Bamas. In 2008 their leader Barack 'Machine Gun Mouth' O'Bama became Boss of Bosses in 2008 which greatly offended the racially sensitive family boss Donaldodo Trumpoleone. He was angry that an African-Irishman had to to America's number one gangster before him. Donaldodo ordered a character assassination hit of Barack O'Bama. This was the famous Birther Day Massacre in 2011, though O'Bama missed his destiny with death by going golfing on that day.

Mueller who had retired again to criminally litigate his next door neighbours over a fence, was contacted by the FBI. The Trumpoleones had to be stopped at all costs.

2016 and after

Deep Staters were shocked when the expected election of a new Supreme Capo went to Donaldodo. Mueller was given a billion dollars from secret funds (check George Soros's bank accounts) to start the new investigation. This will be high stakes for Mueller. If he brings down the Trumpoleones, he will receive a ticker-tape parade in New York. If not, expect a three part film series to celebrate the Trumpoleones success.