Robert's Rules of Order: The Movie
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“This is the best movie I've seen since Down Periscope!”
In the year 2058...
...the world was in chaos...
...and the people of New Pittsburgh wanted to forge...
...but they couldn't...
He brought a way.
That way was order.
Released to theaters July 17, 2005
On DVD February 1, 2006
"Brainwashing!" -- John Kerry
"Double Deuce!" -- Strong Bad
"You'll never look at board meetings the same way again!" -- Film Actors Guild Weekly Roundup
Some say: "This film is a glass of gin that hits your brain like a tsunami on Banda Aceh"
"So scrumtralescent I can barely move" -- James Lipton
edit Summary (SPOILER ALERT!)
New Pittsburgh is a district of the futuristic Megalopolis Atlantis, a giant city filling most of North America's Atlantic coast and extending a good distance inland.
The Information Crisis began with the first commercial usages of true artificial intelligence. These AI's were put in charge of managing web servers. For a time, it was good. The internet became immensely more efficient in a matter of months. While the AI's were good at handling logical and factual information, something strange happened to those that were managing the servers belonging to YTMND, 4chan, and Wikipedia. Over time the content of these websites corrupted the AI's, turning them into malignant entities that sought to destroy all legitimate knowledge. The Internet degraded rapidly, and several major publishing houses inexplicably went bankrupt. The Robot Wars occurred soon thereafter, and raged on for years. The story of Humanity's victory in those times of trouble is not told here. This is about what happened afterwards.
55 years later, there is a mildly successful consultant named Robert. He helps the various corporations of New Pittsburgh trim dead weight and pounce on new markets. Even so, the economy is tanking on the whole. One day, Robert stumbles into a conference room and discovers the atrocious lack of etiquette. Robert must now take matters into his own hands, and begins a nine-month journey into conference rooms across the continent, as he authors what he hopes to be the definitive book of parliamentary protocol and etiquette. He tries to sell the book during his consults, but is ridiculed. In classic disaster movie style, Robert must race against the clock of a rapidly progressing economic depression, and gain the credibility required to get people to listen to him and implement his solution before it's too late.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger -- Robert
- F. Murray Abraham -- The Chairman
- J.R.R. Tolkien -- Robert's Dad
- Vin Diesel -- Vice Chairman
- Alex Kingston -- Lucy
- Gene Hackman -- President Maximillian W. Bush
- Sandra Bullock -- Vice President Lois Cheney
- Drew Curtis -- Evil Security Guard #3
- James Spader -- the "Proxy"
- Morgan Freeman -- U.S. Secretary of the Interior
- Patrick Stewart -- Deputy Secretary of the Interior
- Jon Voight -- Deputy Director of the NSA
- Jack Black -- NSA techie #1
- Seth Green -- NSA techie #2
- Ronald Reagan -- The Conference Room Janitor
- Sean Connery -- The Treasurer
- Angelina Jolie -- The ruler of the Leather Empire of the Midwest
- Keenen Ivory Wayans -- Press Secretary Matt Damon-Wayans
- John Cleese -- Dr. E. Henry Thripshaw
- Will Smith -- The Fresh Press Secretary of Bel-Air
- Director -- Francis Ford Coppola
- Producer -- Mel Gibson
- Music -- Roy Falsetto and Klaus Badelt
- Production Design -- George Lucas
- Props -- Richard Taylor and WETA Workshop
- VFX -- Industrial Light and Magic and WETA Digital
- Best Musical Score (with special recognition for General Classification of Motions in B Flat)
- Robert's Rules of Order: The Movie: The Book, Kevin J. Anderson (2005)
This is the official novelization of the movie.
- Robert's Rules of Order, Da Capo Press (2006)
This is the licensed realization of the rulebook the movie is about.