Riverdance

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Riverdance1

Anyone who is not terrified by this requires psychiatric help.

“You know how the Riverdance started? Too many drinks and not enough toilets.”
~ Captain Obvious on Irish Riverdance Academy

Riverdance began as a joke by the already smug Irish who were on the verge of winning the Eurovision Song Contest for the third consecutive decade; the problem was the rest of the world didn't get it. When the producers saw the potential profit of showing such a show to tourists, they wasted no time in stretching a five minute interval act into 3 day long show.

The show consists of a number of Irish people banging their feet in some kind of time to "traditional" music being played by U2 at the side, while Asian tourists blind the dancers with the incessant flashing of digital cameras until the star of the show (an epileptic pyromaniac) has a seizure and goes on a fire-starting rampage. All this happens while the Asians clap their hands in unison, an event which seismologists predict is slowly destroying the planet.

Despite this, ticket sales are still high and, despite the unlikeliness of getting out of a performance alive, Asians still flock to the show, eager to try out their new digital cameras.

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