Ritalin
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“The only thing better than Ritalin is kitten huffing.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Ritalin
Ritalin is an amphetamine designed to pacify hyper-active children, cheerleaders, and corpses. The drug is generally administered at government-run institutions, where instructors find the drug makes their job easier.
Ritalin is for crazy kids who have ADD. But, parents will give ritalin to their kids to STFU. Kids will be kids...they're only acting their age.
Use in adults, give them super strength, and intellect with no (NO) side-effects.
Contents |
[edit] Ingredients
Though a closely held trade secret for many years, straterra recently lost its protection, and thus its secrets have become open to the moronic, slack-jawed public. Now thanks to you the poor, struggling drug companies will have no Christmas, and Tiny Tim will die of a yeast infection. I hope you're satisfied, you monster!
- One eye of Newt Gingrich
- One leg of a French person
- Nine pounds of Spinach
- Seven pounds of heroin
- One freshly squeezed turd
- Two pounds of hero
- One gallon of american beer
- One ounce of lsd
- The eyelash of a republican
- The lick of a dog (preferably Paris Hilton)
[edit] Side effects of straterra
It should be noted that straterra is a powerful and highly addictive drug, and harbors many unpleasant side effects. These include:
- Uncontrollable bouts of being French including laziness, spontaneous surrendering, and languidly drifting from one cafe to another
- Uncontollable bouts of being Polish, including but not limited to: stupidity, a craving for pickles, easygoing attitude, perverted nature
- An insatiable addiction to cheese, especially parmesean
- The desire to vote for liberal politicians
- A thirst for Budweiser
- The adamant belief that Christina Aguilera is 'hot'
- The undeniable urge to have sex with Gary Gygax
- Forgetting to take your straterra in the mornings
- and seeing pink christina agulara monsters
- The unstoppable desire to fuck your mother
[edit] Why Ritalin?
It's a lot better to give a mind-altering anti-psychotic medication without prescription, other than yelling, hitting or actually old-fashioned pre-baby boom era discipling their prepubescent children (mostly boys). But it's not only illegal and politically incorrect, the kids can't "take it" and might as well be diagnosed as "autistic".
[edit] See also
 | Mommy's Medicine Cabinet |
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Adderall | Aspirin | Beavers | Caffeine | Care Bear Heroin | Cheerios | Cocaine | Codeine | Coffee | Cracked Corn | Crystal Meth | Dexedrine | HeadOn | Kittens | LSD | Medicine | Mountain Dew | Opium | Poison | Prozac | Ritalin | Roofies | Side effects | The World's Most Powerful Drug | Tylenol | Valium | Viagra |
