Rikku
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| This article is very sexy. If you are a pervert, you will love this article. |
| You should exit this page immediately!!! Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd desires are seated. |
 The Subject of this Article is too Damn Sexy!If you saw this person it's possible that you might fall to the ground and worship him/her, or spontaneously combust from a sex drive overload. |
|  This article needs liposuction! | 
|
| This poor old lady is not in her better shape, but we wish we could trust your swift hands to bring her back to her former glory. We mean rewrite it! |
“Al Bheds 50% off at Sleepy's!”
~ Oscar Wilde on RikkuTemplate:Qthat's how you say it! How do you say "No," "doo doo?" Excuse me for a minute, I have to go take a wicked yes.
- You may be looking for Riku and not even know it!
Rikku (better known as Rick Kyouu) is an infamous musician from Moscow,,Russia , mostly known for selling herself out and developing a bed drug habit. She is a member of the Al Bhed tribe which is known for its skills in bed-making. However, Rikku did not know how to make beds.
Penis... Thats all..
Contents |
[edit] The first album
Rikku's first album was entitled "Metallic Woman" and immediately went platinum among both the J-Pop charts, Top 40, and crap charts, while her thieving colleagues continued to play at independent stores. However, Rikku would eventually perform on MTV almost every day, forcing New Yorkers to abandon Times Square forever, which eventually turned it into the tourist trap it is today. When they did come out, they did so to hurl their garbage at Rikku, and convince her to leave New York forever.
[edit] Hypnotic eyes
Most people were sane enough to understand that Rikku was simply a whore and not to be liked, especially because she is flat chested and ugly. That is, if it weren't for Rikku's dark secret method to getting fans. Her eyes would always spin in a circle and would swirl up, forcing people to become followers. As a result, a group entitled "Parents against Rikku" formed. Although the group seemed like an unpopular group of Right-Wing reactionaries, left-wing Liberals and sane people actually made up a large percentage of it. Founded by Kefka in 2004, its members today include various influential people, including Samuel L. Jackson, Paul McCartney, Oscar Wilde, and Jon Stewart. Final Fantasy series veterans such as Locke Cole, Zidane Tribal, Kain Highwind, Barret Wallace, and the brothers Figaro are some of many people who have managed to resist Rikku's hypnotic eyes.
[edit] Personal life
Rikku has had many on-again off again relationships with people such as:
- Gippal
- Me
- Taylor Lautner
- Michael Moore
- Taylor Kitsch
- You, you pervert.
- Your mom
- Slash and his evil twin brother Backslash... at the same time.
She even gave birth to several children. However, she had to put them up for adoption, either because she felt having children would reduce her celebrity status, but also because Child Services felt she would make a bad mother anyway.
[edit] Later years
Rikku eventually began consuming even more crack than Janis Joplin. However, unlike Janis, she would never fall in love with music, only selling herself out. Eventually, even fanboys grew tired of her and began hurling insults.
