Ridley

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Ridley zerom
Ridley as he appeared before hearing that purple is the new green. This has since become his Shiny coloration scheme.
Ridley
Japanese name Lidrey
Stage 3
Evolves from Furbasaur
Evolves to The next incarnation
Species Space dragon
Type Dragon/Fire
Height 20 feet
Weight 560 pounds
Ability Resurrection
Next Pokémon The other Space Pirate general
Previous Pokémon Mother Brain

Ridley is an alien dragon Space Pirate commander hailing from the Metroid video game series, where he is chiefly known as the arch-nemesis of Samus Aran. She frequently stalks Ridley because the latter killed her parents, but she is in turn stalked by Sylux in Metroid Prime: Hunters, ironically.

Ridley is an intellectually gifted individual, holding numerous Ph.D. degrees and even building a robotic version of himself in Metroid: Zero Mission, presumably because having an entire region of Zebes named after him was not enough to satiate his narcissism. He is also known to be immoral immortal, coming back to life many more times than even Jesus. Some space historians feel he could have founded his own religion if it weren't for Samus smearing his good character.

edit Early life

Little Birdy screenshot

Little baby Ridley as an adorable Furby. Why would someone abandon such a cute little thing?

Ridley hatched out of a Pokémon egg in the 1970s, but was subsequently abandoned by his trainer due to having lackluster IV values and no good inherited moves. His biological parents are unknown, but theorized to be an Aerodactyl and a Xenomorph. His early abandonment would be merely the beginning of a streak of bad luck which would follow Ridley for the remainder of his life(s).

ULF50

"Furbasaur, Furbasaur!"

Ridley first appeared to be a Furby, the second most popular Pokémon after Pikachu due to his cuteness. As a wild Pokémon, it was entirely up to Ridley to fend for himself, which was something he apparently excelled at. At level 16, he evolved for the first time into a Furbasaur, which resembled a quadruped version of his final form with no wings and fur growing out of weird places. Continuing to decimate the local ecosystem with his voracious appetite and spiky tail, Ridley evolved a third time at level 36 into his final stage as a Ridlizard. Now with wings and the ability to breathe fire, Ridley finally was highly sought-after by various trainers, but opted to instead become a trainer himself and hoard a large number of Space Pirates of all different formes. Ridley frequently sends these Space Pirates out into battle on his behalf.

It is also known that Ridley is capable of the Mega Evolution mechanic introduced in Pokémon X and Y, as he temporarily becomes a Mega Ridley in Metroid Prime 3: Corruption during his Space Pirate Homeworld Gym battle with Samus. When Samus defeated him, she was presented with the Hyper Grapple Badge, which meant Pokémon of any level would now obey her without question and letting her use HM 03: Phazon Electrocution anytime outside of battle.

edit The K-2L incident

Ridley and his fellow Space Pirates paid a visit to the Earth colony K-2L, where Samus Aran and her parents lived, to get more fuel for their ships. Accounts of what happened next varied by witness, but Ridley explained in court testimony and later interviews that Samus' parents were racist space hillbillies who first berated Ridley with various anti-alien dragon slurs. As Ridley attempted again to ask politely if they could spare any fuel, they threatened to shoot him with their shotgun in the name of human supremacy. Thus, it was out of self-defense that Ridley burned both alive with his fire breath. As Samus, then only 2 years old, stared horrified at her parents' well-cooked corpses, Ridley tried to lighten the situation by half-jokingly asking her, "Hey, you gonna eat that?" After getting the fuel and a quick snack, Ridley left the planet, and Samus was recovered by the Chozo not long afterwards.

The incident shook Ridley, who was otherwise a kind and generous soul, and he absolved to leave his Space Pirate days behind himself and pursue a career in filmmaking as a director instead. Samus eventually tracked him down the first time and filed a wrongful death lawsuit against him over her parents. The case was eventually thrown out, as it had long passed the statute of limitations while Samus was growing up before deciding to file. Even if the case was tried, Ridley had a solid legal defense in that he killed her parents out of self-defense, the poor taste of his subsequent comments notwithstanding. However, bad press resulting from the lawsuit still managed to damage Ridley's reputation, and he was forced out of the film industry not long after. He returned to his old Space Pirate commander position, but continued to be stalked, harassed and killed by Samus, who felt justice was not served.

edit Space Pirate career

Ridley's luck did not improve much during his return to space piracy, despite occasional small successes. In the NES Metroid (or the Zero Mission remake), Ridley helped protect Mother Brain while the latter experimented on metroid breeding in obscene quantities. Samus, still angry from how the court case turned out, showed up to kill Ridley and destroy the experiment while she was at it.

Prior to Metroid Prime, the Space Pirates opted to bring Ridley back, and gave him a Metal Coat so he could evolve into his alternate evolution "Meta Ridley", which was also Steel type. Meta Ridley saw Samus aboard the frigate in orbit above Tallon IV, and fled out of fear he would be killed again. This was made possible by flapping his new wings through the vacuum of space. Samus tracked him down anyway to the planet's surface, and the Impact Crater temple statues joined her in blasting lasers into his chest until he fell off a cliff, killing him again.

No one is really sure what Ridley was doing during the events of Metroid Prime: Hunters and Metroid Prime 2: Echoes, but he appeared again (twice!) in Metroid Prime 3: Corruption as both Meta Ridley and his Mega Evolved form Mega Ridley to make up for lost screen time. Even with the supposed regenerative powers of Phazon, Samus blew him up a third time.

Somehow, Ridley came back in his original form in time for Super Metroid, attempting to steal Samus' pet baby metroid from the Ceres space research station. In truth, the metroid never belonged to her to begin with, as it was a violation of Galactic Federation protocol to harbor deadly infant parasitoids. Ridley did the responsible thing in bringing it back to Mother Brain on Zebes for more research in a safe environment, but Samus killed him, killed Mother Brain, and indirectly killed her own pet before exploding the entire planet and all of its innocent bystander inhabitants. Ridley would have mourned this loss greatly, if he wasn't already vaporized.

Thankfully, some small gooey bits of him stowed away on the surface of Samus' Power Suit, and he managed to be cloned at the Bottle Ship in Metroid: Other M in his original Furby form. Ridley was however treated harshly as the researchers' pet, not being given enough to eat. He snacked on a couple scientists to tide himself over until the MB android and Samus were able to give him access to alien honey. Samus did not recognize her adorable little target at first, until he made the unfortunate mistake of growing older, bigger and uglier. Samus tried to kill Ridley yet again, but he escaped at the last second, only to be sucked dry by a queen metroid.

As per Ridley's will, his dried-out remains were to be frozen at Biologic Space Labs, alongside the frozen severed head of Walt Disney, until they could be revived again. This came kind of true when X parasites absorbed his DNA, then impersonated him (while adding Screech to his moveset). Samus killed off this Ridley-X as well merely because she didn't like the way he looked, and the vaporization of both the B.S.L. laboratory and the planet SR-388 it orbited finally marked the end of Ridley. Maybe.

Personal tools
In other languages
projects