From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Richard Paul "Rick" Astley (born 6 February 1966) is a singer, songwriter, guitar player, and morris dancer. He was known for creating the Internet meme known as "Rickrolling", which experienced a brief surge of popularity from 2008 to 2009 but nobody cares about anymore.
He was even nominated for the MTV Music Awards in 2008 for "Best Male or Female Singer", but lost out to Tracy Chapman. He is probably the ruler of YouTube as we know it, so he should just accept that honor instead.
edit Birth and early life
Richard "Rick" Astley was born on February 5, 1966 in the United Kingdom. His father, Pete "Waterman" Astley, was a Scientologist from Belgium. Rick was made in a laboratory, as requested by his father. Young Richard was convinced at a young age to be a Scientologist, but was banished from their group sometime later. Since Rick's real last name is Waterman, he has expressed distaste for the many school years of always being last. So he changed it to Astley. Which means Rick's last name is... Astley.
He was a good student in his school, earning himself undeserved academic honors, like the Honor Roll which he once claimed that it would later inspire him to formulate the Rick Roll. He later went to college at Hardvard University. His tutor, Lene Bausager, claimed that "yes, I let him slide through school AND college, but I owe one to the poor little faggot."
Rick was in the band FBI from 1980 to 1985, with him and his four other brothers. "FBI" stood for "The Federal Barrel of Instruments" without the words "the" or "of" in the name. Some known songs from the group are "I'm Sorry", and "You Pulled Me Through". They even remade some songs, like Elvis Presley's "Blue Suede Shoes". They were so sucessful, a band known as Live Report remade their song "Why Do I Always Get it Wrong?" and preformed it at the Eurovision Song Contest in 1989.
Out of all five of them, Rick's voice seemed to outshine the rest. He just was louder. No more comments.
edit Is he for real?
Because of his baritone voice, many people think he isn't a white person. Many people think he is a backup for an African-American singer. Rick wasn't lying - he gave his friends (if he had any) a nod of approval. Marvin Astley, Rick's older brother, recomended that he should sing alone, although somebody persuaded him to come to London to work at the PWL recording studio. So he moved to SUN Studios (not PWL) and recorded his first song - "When You're Gonna". He then went on to sing more famous songs, including "Never Gonna Give You Up".
edit 1987 NAACP Image Awards
In the summer of 1987 Rick Astley was nominated for the NAACP Image Award for Entertainer of the Year. The organization stated that his baritone voice and smooth vocals on the track "Never Gonna Give You Up" was 'a masterpiece that will inspire colored people all over the world'. Later that year however, it was discovered by the NAACP that Astley was in fact white, and not African American as his vocals on the track had indicated. In one of the most controversial decisions in NAACP history, NAACP CEO/President Kwame Mfume declared that Rick Astley be banned from the colored community and called for his immediate tarring and feathering. The NCAAP Image Award for Entertainer of the Year was then awarded to Patti LaBelle, and Astley fled to Brazil to escape humiliation. He was presumed deceased until 2008, when he was discovered inside of a dumpster on the side of a Krispy Kreme donuts shop in Los Angeles, California, chewing on his shoes as he waited for stale day-old donuts to be discarded.
edit See also
|All-American Role Models and Rejects|
|Adam West | Aunt Jemima | Billy Mays | Blue Beetle | Bob Knight | Bob Saget | Bruce Campbell | Burger King | Cheese Jesus | Christopher Walken | Chuck Norris | Clint Eastwood | Count Chocula | Dolph Lundgren | Eric Cartman | George Carlin | Green Hornet | Hanson | Joe Camel | Kanye West | Knight Rider | MacGyver | Mr. T | Pedobear | Pillsbury Doughboy | Qin Shi Huang | Rick Astley | Ronald McDonald | Sean Connery | Sarah Palin | Sloth | Trix Rabbit | Uncle Ben | Vanilla Ice | William Hung | Willy Wonka | Wonder Woman | Yogi Bear | Your Mom|