Rick Astley
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“The first time I've been rick rolled, it was a surprise. The next time, it got old instantly.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Rick Rolling
Rick Astley is the most annoying person in the whole world. Everyone knows that. Ugh. [Citation not needed at all; thank you very much] Singer, songwriter, guitar player, dancer - these are just some of the many things that the guy Rick Astley did. He later created his own internet meme known as "Rickrolling".
He has been arrested twice up to date, the first time for skydiving in a pool naked, and the second time for stealing candy from young kids, like Resse's Peanut Butter Cups. See, if he was a bad singer, and has an annoying prank, then why the hell is he so famous?
He was even nominated for the MTV Music Awards in 2008 for "Best Male or Female Singer", but lost out to Tracy Chapman. He is probably the ruler of YouTube as we know it. Just accept this honor.
Contents |
[edit] Biography
[edit] Birth and Early Life
Richard "Rick" Astley was born on February 5, 1966 in the United Kingdom States. His father, Pete "Waterman" Astley, was a Scientologist from Belgium. He was made in a labratory, requested by his father. He was convinced that he must be a Scientologist, but he was banished from their group sometime later. Since Pete's real last name is Waterman, he hated that his last name always came last. So he changed it to Astley. Whick means Rick's last name is... Astley.
He was a good student in his school, earning himself undeserved academic honors, like perfect attendence or the Honor Role. He later went to college at Hardvard University. His tutor, Lene Bausager, claimed that "yes, I let him slide through school AND college, but I owe him one."
[edit] FBI
Rick was in the band FBI from 1980 to 1985, with him and his four other brothers. "FBI" stood for "The Federal Barrel of Instruments" without the words "the" or "of" in the name. Some known songs from the group are "I'm Sorry", and "You Pulled Me Through". They even remade some songs, like Elvis Presley's "Blue Suede Shoes". They were so sucessful, a band known as Live Report remade their song "Why Do I Always Get it Wrong?" and preformed it at the Eurovision Song Contest in 1989.
Out of all five of them, Rick's voice seemed to outshine the rest. He just was louder. No more comments.
[edit] Is He For Real?
Because of his baritone voice, many people think he isn't a white person. many people think he is a backup for an African-American singer. Rick wasn't lying - he gave his friends (if he had any) a nod of approval. Marvin Astley, Rick's older brother, recomended that he should sing alone, although somebody persuaded him to come to London to work at the PWL recording studio. So he moved to SUN Studios (not PWL) and recorded his first song - "When You're Gonna". He then went on to sing more famous songs, including "Never Gonna Give You Up".
[edit] Trivia
Rick has a lot of facts that you probably didn't know about, like:
- Rick Astley is also the only known entity in the universe that can make Chuck Norris cry, but they have never made contact. Ever.
- He is also the only person in the world that can outjump Tom Cruise in a couch-jumping contest.
- He is gay, due to the fact he married Lance Bass in 2007.
- In his younger teens Rick O.D'd on Tic Tacs. After rehab he has fully recovered, altough a faint minty aura remains.
[edit] Discography
[edit] FBI songs
- I'm Sorry
- You Pulled Me Through
- Why Do I Always Get It Wrong?
- That's Alright
- Blue Suede Shoes
[edit] Rick's songs
- When You're Gonnna
- Never Gonna Give You Up
- Whenever You Need Somebody
- Together Forever
- Cry For Help
- Live is to Die later!
[edit] "Rickrolling" Meme
So, how great was Rick Astley? Not very. Okay, I guess. We have all heard of the Rickrolling meme, so I won't bother explaining it. [Citation not needed at all; thank you very much] Okay, it's when an interesting video on the internet switches to his music video for his song, "Never Gonna Give You Up". It was created when it was used in the smash FOX animated series Family Guy, where Brian sung the song. Later on, the original video started to pop up on various websites. The word "Rickroll" is a take-off of the word "Duckroll", which was another internet meme, where it shows a picture of a duck with wheels.
Examples of Rickrolling:
- In 2007, YouTube made all their featured videos link to the rickrolling video.
- During the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in 2008, Rick popped out of a float and lip-synced the song.
- Barack Obama made his own video called a "Barackroll". He just played the song with him saying (not singing) the song.
- The next person to get rickrolled is you, <insert name here>.
[edit] His Promises
Rick Astley has made many promises in his life, but he has only been commited to 6 of them they are:
- 1 - Rick Astley promises to never give you up.
- 2 - Rick Astley will never ever let you down, no matter what the circumstances are.
- 3 - Rick Astley will never run around. (This is currently illegal in 34 states in the US, and also completely forbidden in Russia, China, Zimbabwe, and Germany.)
- 3x2 - (This rule was originally it's own, but Rick decided it would be better to combine #4 and #3.) Rick Astley will never desert you.
- 4 - Rick Astley will never ever make you cry. (This does not apply to cutting onions, skydiving naked or stealing candy from babies.)
- 5 - Rick Astley never will ever say goodbye. This makes phone conversations very awkward when he wants to hang up.
- 6 - And FINALLY, Rick Astley will never tell lies and hurt you. Abraham Lincoln is his role model.
| Preceded by: Chuck Norris | Internet Meme Superstar 2004 | Succeeded by: Oscar Wilde |
