Rich people
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“I'm not rich, I just have great mountains of cash in my livingroom that I like to play in. Remember that show Duck Tales anyone? It came out a few years after I died.”
~ J.P. Morgan on Rich people
“A rich person is defined as anyone who makes more than minimum wage. Unless they're me.”
~ A liberal on rich people
Rich people are assholes who fucked our economy up and screwed us on our taxes every year. If you see a rich person on the street, kick him in the balls or her in the overies
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[edit] How to identify rich people
- Eats at fancy restraunts every day.
- Has more than one house.
- Has a hat (the larger the richer).
- Carries around a very small and grotesquely deformed dog in their purse.
- Has a giant turd in a glass display case on their mantle above their pristine fireplace.
[edit] Characteristics
It should be noted that rich people have a strong dislike of not just physical labour, but of doing any work at all. Since they don't work and are very wasteful of their money (buying things like gold-embroidered toilet paper) it is unknown how they remain rich. recent research into the subject has discovered that they are in fact, paracites, leeching off society and not contributing anything, very similar to their polar opposite: the un-rich person.
[edit] How to identify an un-rich person
- Frequently urinates in a toilet not made out of gold (or a hole in the ground.)
- Can afford to eat (dog food) only once a day.
- They don't fuck their mothers... well, not too often anyways.
- They have minimal rights.
- Smell funny.
[edit] How to ingest
The most important step is first to sever the subject's head. If this step isn't performed, the severed head may eat you, and make you its new host body -- your host body for the same rich person.
After the head is severed, offer it to a [[hobo]. Then eat the body whole. NO CHEWING! This is sure to release [spores from mushroom fungai still living in the dead subject's stomach, yielding you, at least, five full weeks of your daily required fiber and Vitamin D.
Since "eating people" is discouraged in so many countries today, it could result in your being rejected by your friends (in case you have any).
But hey! Think of the benefits: five weeks of not having to eat fiber, making your bowels very happy And you won't have to go out in the sun for UV rays to get all your needed Vitamin D.
