Rich people

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A future rich person

“I'm not rich, I just have great mountains of cash in my livingroom that I like to play in. Remember that show Duck Tales anyone? It came out a few years after I died.”

~ J.P. Morgan on Rich people

“A rich person is defined as anyone who makes more than minimum wage. Unless they're me.”

~ A liberal on rich people

Rich people are assholes who fucked our economy up and screwed us on our taxes every year. If you see a rich person on the street, kick him in the balls or her in the overies

[edit] How to identify rich people

Wears a Hat (the larger the richer).

1. Eats at fancy restaurants every day.
2. Has more than one house.
3. Has a hat (the larger the richer--well, to a certain extent anyway).
4. Carries around a very small and grotesquely deformed dog in their purse.
5. Has a giant turd in a glass display case on their mantle above their pristine fireplace.
6. Smokes cigars

[edit] Characteristics

It should be noted that rich people have a strong dislike of not just physical labour, but of doing any work at all. Since they don't work and are very wasteful of their money (buying things like gold-embroidered toilet paper) it is unknown how they remain rich. recent research into the subject has discovered that they are in fact, paracites, leeching off society and not contributing anything, very similar to their polar opposite: the un-rich person.

[edit] How to identify an un-rich person

1. Frequently urinates in a toilet not made out of gold (or a hole in the ground.)
2. Can afford to eat (dog food) only once a day.
3. They don't fuck their mothers... well, not too often anyways.
4. Is condecended to by pigeons and thier shit
5. Smell funny.

[edit] How to ingest

A typical un-rich person preparing for the hunt

One way rich people benifit society is their high nutritional value. Un-rich people can eat them to get the nutrients that dog food just wont give you. The proper way to ingest the rich person is to kick them square in the crotch (if male), or headbutt thier ovaries (if female). While in pain and bewildered you claw open thier stomach NO TOOLS YOU'RE UN-RICH GOD DAMMIT. When they realize what is happening they will offer you money to have you stop. This is a common trick but if you accept this bribe you may turn into a rich person yourself and because you would be among un-rich people af the time you will quikly become their prey.

Since "eating people" is discouraged in so many countries today, it could possibly result in your being rejected by your friends (in case you have any) but since most un-rich people dont have any friends you will probrably be okay with this.

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