Republic

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Far From Awesome Land

Republics of the world as of 2006. red - full presidential system; green - executive presidency linked to a parliament; blue - constitutional democracy; pink - semi-presidential system; orange - parliamentary republics; brown - republics whose constitutions grant only a single party the right to govern; red brown - uninhabited; black - Nobody cares

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Republic.

“Whoever wins, we lose.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Republic
A Republic is a political ideal in which freedom is emphasized above all else, meaning there are no Republicans present. What constitutes a true Republic has been the subject of debate since the time of Playdo. Some early concepts of a true Republic:

  • Only the unjust should be fed to the lions
  • Let no man be stoned, lest ye share first
  • Only men in togas are fit to lead a nation
  • Only gay men wearing subligara are fit to lead a nation
  • No man is fit to lead a nation
  • No man is an island, but Ireland sounds like island, and it has a Republic.
  • A nation is fit to lead a man, but nothing more
  • Forwards, not backwards. Upwards, not forwards. And twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.
  • Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others
  • Either you are with us, or you are gay.
  • It should be noted that lesbians are technically gay, however are women, therefore eliminating any possibility of leadership on their behalf
  • Might makes right, as long as it's for freedom.
  • We know what we're doing.
  • FREEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • If you don't worship our country, you're a Nazi Communist Terrorist Satan worshipper.
  • If you don't worship Bush, you're a Communist Socialist Terrorist Satan worshipper (this goes for non-Americans as well).

edit The Modern Republic

Red war map

A map of the Commonwealth republics

The classical idea of the Republic has since been superceded by the Re-public. This form of government works much like a classical game of fourth grade football, in which one side tries to dominate another by use of trash talk, insults, slander, and name calling. Third parties are not allowed to compete, as they are too wimpy and don't try very hard in the first place. Spectators cheer on both sides by shouting and yelling the loudest, though neither side is affected as votes are set by whomever has the most money from lobby groups, name brand sponsorships, and autobiographical book sales.

The two same teams always compete, meaning one of them has to win to the detriment of the entire country, so most voters concede that there is no real winner.

edit Republic as Compared to Anarchy

To have a true comparison you should make ur own comparison

Republic

  • The ability to elect leaders who make decisions they think are best for you
  • Getting lied to by politicians
  • Getting conflicting ideas from different people
  • Getting raised minimum wage

Anarchy

  • the ability to make lives more miserable
  • Shoving a large pointy sword up the politician who lied's ass
  • Ramming your ur own ideas down ur enemies throats (with the sword u just used on the politician)
  • The right to spell anything however you want.

edit See also

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