Remi Gaillard

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RemiDire

Remi Gaillard explaining the next scene of a film.

Remi Gaillard is a well-known, respected French actor and director. He has recently been named France's top director in the French B.A.G.U.E.T.T.E awards. Remi has made many productions but his most famous is probably "Saving Private Remi" which is a film about a French soldier storming the Normandy beaches and single-handedly wiping out the British tourists there. Remi has also had an astounding football career, playing for Lorient.

After Philipe Starck, Remi Gaillard is probably the second most well-known and great French person. He has inspired many generations and people from all around the World from Haiti to Japan with his famous motto, "It's by doing hilarious pranks on people whatever, that one becomes an enemy of the French state and gets constantly locked up in prison whoever."

edit Football Career

RemiFoot

Remi celebrates the win against SC Bastia.

Remi joined FC Lorient a few days before their match in the finals of the 2002 Coupe de France against SC Bastia. He played in right centre back position alongside Jacque Donalote. He was such a good football player that FIFA took him on board as a marketing director. Since then he has single-handedly made trailers for FIFA games FIFA 2010, FIFA 2011 and FIFA 2012, which cut the cost of the FIFA marketing budget by £1 million. These videos can be seen on Youtube alongside his football skills battle video with Ronaldo.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Remi Gaillard.

Remi Gaillard has been ranked in top10 in Europe and even in top20 in the World as the best footballer of the year. He has carried this claim with him but due to his other two careers he is unable to exploit this and move into a better club or play in another major tournament.

edit Film Career

Remi Gaillard is best known for the direction of his movies and his actorial role in them. He entered the film industry in 1998 and since then has revolutionised and modernised it by inventing the concept of providing free movies for people to watch on Youtube. This changed the way that artists think about their work in the 21st Century - no longer is it all about profit and Capitalism but the arts industry is about Socialist things such as sharing and kindness.

Remi Gaillard is a man of many talents and he projects this through his film making. He has made many different genres of movies from Epics (Violence and war type) all the way to Epics (Surrendering type). He is also a realist and many of his films contain members of the public as actors who are unaware of the fact that they are being filmed. This gives a sense of the realism and truth behind the story that Remi creates.

edit My Tour of France

His first major blockbuster was Mon Toure de Françoise (English translation: My Tour of France). This film is an Emotional Epic. It portrays the story of a Sunday cyclist from the start of his climb up a French mountain to the top of the mountain. Along the way he struggles and is thinking of giving up when a commentator, played by Remi Gaillard, drives by on the back of a van with a megaphone shouting and encouraging him to continue. The cyclist is spurred on by this and when he gets near to the summit is cheered on by a huge crowd of foreigners all wearing funny costumes who run along side the cyclist towards the finish line that Remi has put at the top. A streaker runs across the cyclist's path attempting to deter the cyclist but he carries on regardless until the crowd pulls him out of his saddle and gives him a fake trophy, symbolising the drugs and cheating behind the real Tour De France race. Then the crowd runs off with his bike symbolising the short-term fame from winning and the inspiration given to others to beat the winner.

edit Rocky in France

RockyRem

His second major film was Rocky dans La Françoise (English translation: Rocky in France). Many critics claim that this film did not have an original idea behind it and shouldn't therefore be counted as one of Remi's greatest films however the point of the film, yet again, is to bring out the realism. The original Rocky films didn't portray the real training of a very poor boxer. Remi uses realistic training equipment that would be available for an unemployed, French, lower-class person. Therefore Rocky, played by Remi Gaillard, runs through town taking drinks off people (played by members of the public) and pouring them down him to cool him down. He then jumps upon the conveyer belt on the local supermarket till and uses it for a treadmill. As in a real portrayal of Rocky's life the operator of the till phones the manager and attempts to disloge him. In another scene he practices his punches on pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling in the butchers. When Rocky is ready to face a real person for practice he does what any unemployed boxer must do and he picks a fight with a random man walking down the street by stealing the man's glasses and then climbing on a bus shelter where he can't be reached.

edit Rubbish Fuzz

FootRem

It's an open goal.

In 2007 he produced the film La Police Merde (English translation: Rubbish Fuzz), which was an educational film about how the causes of the French Revolution and more specifically how the state police were delt with. It follows the life of a French republican played by Remi Gaillard and his one-man attack on the French police force. This is a great example of his realism traits as to make sure the audience gets the best emotional understanding and educational value from the film he uses real French police officers to act out the French State Police. Notable scenes include him kicking a football into the back of a police van and the police immediatly jumping out and chasing Remi, who is doing football celebrations, all the way down the street and the scene in which he dresses up as an American Football player and grabs a parking inspector's notepad and makes a touchdown with it before running off. This film is now used in many schools across the World to teach them about how revolutions are started and how brave the first revolutionaries were.

edit Saving Private Remi

SPR

Remi Gaillard's most famous film.

Remi's most recent film Le Saviour De Rémi Privat (English translation: Saving Private Remi) is arguably his best film. It is based on the real events surrounding the D-Day Normandy invasions during WW2 and follows the story of a Free French soldier, played by Remi, and his attack on the coastline. To make it more realistic Remi adds in a factor that Spielberg seemed to miss in his film Saving Private Ryan, which was to portray the tourists who happened to go to the beach that day and show the civilian casualties that were incurred on that day. This is probably what makes it Remi's greatest film as he decides to show the horrors of war along with the fighting. Remi also plays a parachutist who gets stuck on a lampost and requires the help of a Resistance member to get him down.

edit Astronaut Career

After being a great football player, film star and director Remi was invited to be involved with a French space project which aimed to put a man back on the Moon. Remi therefore trained under complete secrecy in the art of being an astronaut and was selected to be on the mission.

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The controversial picture of the French Moon Landings.

The mission was succesful, by accounts of the French government, which claims that Remi conducted a Moon walk and a moonbuggy drive. He even brought a flag, which he placed on the surface marking the momentous occasion. The French government promptly awarded him the Medal de Honoure (you can guess that translation) for his gallant act and the moment was marked as a peak in the endeavours of French technology.

However there are many skeptics that claim that it was not possible that Remi went to the Moon. Reasons behind these accusations are that the French have a poor industry and the industry was on strike on the week of the supposed launch. Others say that no instruments picked up traces or images of a rocket launch and no large object was recorded to have escaped the atmosphere on the day. Also the French government only announced that they had landed a man on the Moon a month after the event when the UN was reviewing the French position as the first world nation in the World.

Filmmakers of the World
Epic Visionaries

Ingmar Bergman | Peter Bogdanovich | Robert Bresson | Charlie Chaplin | Coen Brothers | Cecil B. De Mille | Clint Eastwood | Federico Fellini | John Ford | D.W. Griffith | Alfred Hitchcock | Abbas Kiarostami | Sergio Leone | Martin Scorsese | Steven Spielberg | Andrei Tarkovsky | Orson Welles | James Cameron | Akira Kurosawa

Not-So-Epic Visionaries

Michael Bay | Tim Burton | Ken Burns | John Carpenter | Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer | Mel Gibson | Tom Green | Spike Lee | George Lucas | Dolph Lundgren | McG | Michael Moore | Leonard Nimoy | Guy Ritchie | George Romero | Joel Schumacher | M. Night Shyamalan | Alan Smithee | Billy Bob Thornton | Tommy Wiseau | John Woo | Ed Wood | Rob Zombie

Highly Respected in France

Woody Allen | Michelangelo Antonioni | Darren Aronofsky | Mel Brooks | Sofia Coppola | Jean-Luc Godard | Jim Jarmusch | Charlie Kaufman | Jerry Lewis | David Lynch | Nicolas Winding Refn | Rob Schneider | Remi Gaillard | Lars von Trier

Highly Confusing in Japan
Terry Gilliam | Akira Kurosawa | Russ Meyer | Quentin Tarantino
Highly Disturbing in Mexico

Guillermo del Toro

Highly Racist in Suid-Afrika

Neill Blomkamp

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