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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.

By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.


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Intelligent Design

Velociraptor assaults Moses
“No, no. You don't understand. There aren't two debatable arguments here. See, on one side there's me being right, and on the other side there's you being an idiot.”
~ Charles Darwin on Larry King Live Debating Against Intelligent Design

Intelligent Design is the absolutely true and totally scientific theory that the Universe is so mind-bogglingly complex that it could only have been designed and constructed by an equally, if not more complex, "Intelligent Designer", whom we shall call the "Creator". It might be the Christian God ...but it's not likely; more likely is Fred Savage, or maybe even Frank Zappa and we're not telling! That's what makes it scientific.[1]

Please note, in reverence to the Christian God, even though this has nothing to do with the Christian God, Intelligent Designer should always be capitalized. [2] If you refuse to capitalize it we’ll smite you in the name of sweet Jesus.

This Creator might not have been a creator at all, but rather a committee of creators. Therefore the official theory makes absolutely no reference to a Christian God. In fact, the theory was run through a word processor which also checked for all common misspelllings, so this is an absolute certain fact! more...


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The Messiah, according to Courtnology. Unlike prophecies, this is based in fact.

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To think I kissed her (or him) there--and there--and there'!

~ Sarah Michelle Gellar on Baphomet.

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