Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded man in the sky that flies around granting wishes, but there are some variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

Limitations of Superpowers as Applies to God

“I am God, in my own little world.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Limitations of Superpowers as Applies to God

“I was an atheist, before I realized I was God!”

~ Simon Cowell on the many forms of God

Supernatural powers come in many forms, from the tingly spidey-sense of Spiderman to the Squeak-Vomit Attack of Pikachu. Of course the epynonymous hero, Superman, has a whole bunch of them.

But nobody is more super than the Christian God. Not even kryptonite can defeat His superpowers.

However, He is definitely limited in His abilities. more

(more...)

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Highlighted Image

The Messiah, goes to Heaven for three days, to let his Father borrow His glue gun.

Main Page

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Sarah Palin gets done doggy style

• UnNews:Meditating monks accused of sleeping on the job

• UnNews:America moves to execute porn stars

• UnNews:Godless Europeans blast US technological dominance

• UnNews:Coarse conduct confounds construction

• UnNews:Heavens rejoice as Dow surpasses 14,000

• UnNews:Irish Duckists rebel

• UnNews:Is Kansas Godless? Or just stupid?

• UnNews:Satanic front group convenes in Vienna

• UnNews:Third Coming of Jesus Christ Prophesised!

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Quote of the Week

“That was Zen, this is Tao.”

~ Lao Tzu on The Hydrogen bomb.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Anti-Muhammed - Beatlefication - Cyborg Judas - Dashboard Confessional - Electrician - Father Christmas - God v. Nietzsche - HowTo:Start a Religion - Irreducible complexity - Jew - Karma - LaVeyan Vegetarianism - My God is Better Than Your God, and I Can Prove It - Noddy - Prayer - Qu'ran - Reasons to become an atheist/The Dead Serious Scrolls Version - Sweet Jesus - The Great Flood - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Voidism - What was God thinking!? - Xristianity - YWAM -

Zephyr

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Religious Articles That Need Help

10,000 days - Atheist Doctrine - Beautiful People - Club Heaven - Doom .0068 - Exorcism - Feng shui - Great Flying Handkerchief of Brett - HowTo:Proselytize - Icon - JR "Bob" Dobbs - Kansas Board of Education - Luthoranism - Michael Behe - New New Testament - OMG! - Patron saint - Quakers - Risto Tukkinen - Space Clowns - Tao - Un-religion - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists - The X-Files - Yeeshism -

Zucchini