Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.

By far the holiest portal you will ever find.



Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded man in the sky that flies around granting wishes, but there are some variations.

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Fundagelical Christianity

Sorry taken

This girl at my school is a Fundagelical Christian[1] or something like that. She always wears these shirts that say "God will save you" which I know is bullshit, because that God dude didn't do shit to save me from getting caught by the cops for putting that Hamster in the microwave at the gas station down the street. Hey, the sign said "Free for use", it's not my fault they didn't specify the use. And anyway, I don't see the need for handcuffs. It's not like it was my hamster in the first place.

Fundagelical Christians are also often seen with bumper stickers saying such messages as "Jesus loves you" and have that stupid little fish logo. They are responsible for any corny sayings with the word "Jesus" or "God" in them.

But I'm wandering from my main point, which is that Fundagelical Christianity is very confusing.

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RaptorJessusGlue
The Messiah, goes to Heaven for three days, to let his Father borrow His glue gun.


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YARRR! Avast ye maties, thar be our messiah!

~ Any pirate on Captain Jesus.
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