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“I don't get it, children and hipsters find THIS watchable?.”
“You know who likes this article? MY MOM!”
Regular Show is a cartoon with a very unfitting name, created by Jay Gay Quintel. Unlike the other sugary kid-friendly shows on Cartoon Network, Regular Show is 10 times better for its use of language, gore, racism, and references to Adolf Hitler. Due to this, it received a surprisingly large amount of praise by fans.
The show stars two friends named Mordecai and Rigby, who work as groundskeepers in some sort of park. Most episodes show them being lazy slackers and finding a way to escape work so they can play video games. Unfortunately, they always screw things up and end up destroying the whole park in an epic way. Due to the park's poor management and overpopulation of deadly killer chimps, no humans work there. Only animals, monsters, and objects are brave or stupid enough to want to be employed.
Mordecai is a narcissistic blue jay. Mordecai is also the biggest goody-two-shoes of the show. As the smarter, stronger, dominant male, Mordecai pwns Rigby at many things and uses brute force to make him do stuff. Even though Mordecai's a bird, he can't fly. He probably doesn't know he's a bird, but nobody cares to tell him. Mordecai is a devoted supporter and corporate pawn of the Scientologists.
Rigby (also known as Rigbutt, Rigboner, Rigbaby, Trashboat, or Rigbiatch) is the drunk, foul-mouthed, lazy-ass crybaby of the show. Rigby is three years old, but somehow fooled everyone into thinking he was 23. He is often harassed by Mordecai because he pwns Rigby at everything in life. Luckily, Mordecai's goody goody nature serves as an advantage that Rigby can use against him. But he'd probably still get pwned because Rigby failed kindergarten for being a dumbass. Rigby has AIDS and wanted everyone to know it was a secret. That's how f*cking retarded he is. Rigby enjoys ripping on everyone he knows (Mordecai for being jewish, Muscle Man for being fat, Benson for having a mangina, etc).
Benson is a living gumball machine who enjoys bossing around Mordecai and Rigby and disguises himself as a Jew (note his gumball topper thing looks like a kippah). On average, Rigby has more sex than Mordecai, and both have more sex than Benson, who is usually incapable of having sex due to his lack of a penis. This is what causes Benson to turn red and go Ape-Shit Crazy every time they are seen slacking off instead of working. He is also single and alone. Whatever you do, don't eat his gumballs, or he'll hunt you down! Seriously, he knows where you live! Let him in or you're fired!
As Skips is homosexual and the smartest character on the show, you're probably wondering why someone like him has such a crap job. Skips used to be a world-famous philosopher, until McDonalds came along and stole his fame, glory and chicks. This left poor Skips no choice but to move into the hellhole that Mordecai and Rigby call home. He is the only one who understands Benson's pain, so he is usually given the best jobs in the park, such as inspecting bikinis, making the other groundskeepers jealous of him. Still, Skips hates his life. This understandably sucks, hence the fact that he has been granted eternal youth. He fought in the Revolutionary War, American Civil War, World War 1, World War 2, Korean War, Vietnam War, and the Gulf War.
Pops is just some old creepy guy with an unusually large head. Despite his gigantic head, he has a brain the size of a baby flea. In fact, Pops has been known to use lollipops as money. Oddly enough, Pops himself is a lollipop, meaning that he spends his own children on stuff. Nobody knows about the true origin of Pops, but one theory suggests that a lollipop fell into a puddle of nuclear waste. A poorly-known fact about Pops: he is more obese than Muscle Man. It's just that all the fat somehow went to his head. Mordecai and Pops possibly share a bisexual attraction for eachother, for Mordecai continued to look at his penis in one episode, and Pops....let him watch.
Mitch "Muscle Man" Vanwinkle is just some fat ugly green creature with an unfitting nickname. For some reason, Muscle Man likes to insult his mom by telling "My Mom" jokes every 15 minutes, and he is stupid enough to believe that these jokes insult other people. He is also unaware that his farts are destroying the ozone layer. Muscle Man hates MythBusters because he was caught masturbating in one of the episodes.
Hi Five Ghost
Hi Five Ghost (HFG) is a demonic spirit with a cold bony hand growing out of its brain. It doesn't really talk much, but communicates through moans and cusses, usually whenever it gets raped by Muscle Man. Legend has it that HFG is the spirit of Saddam Hussein's long-lost half brother.
Some hot Canadian chick from Toronto who works as an escort/bartender at Mordecai and Rigby's favorite strip-club. Mordecai gets an erection every time he sees her, but doesn't have the courage to ask her out. Or probably, as mentioned before, she doesn't give a crap. She is completely unaware that Mordecai has a crush on her, even though he once raped her when she wasn't looking and ate quite a few mushrooms. She is also a bird with boobs, that about sums it all up.
Eileen is a mole, beaver,....gopher...thingy ma bobber. Nobody, even Margaret gives a shit about her. They only talk to her and give her a 0.000001% attention because she is a homocidal maniac. Eileen wants to ride Rigby's pulsing Rigboner. Eileen secretly masturbates to pictures that she takes of Rigby in the coffee shop when he's not looking. She is also secretly a lolicon. Because she is so small, pedophiles go after her.. Because she is a desperate motherfucker she lets them do stuff to her and imagine that It is Rigby.
Critics are critical in criticizing Regular Show. Some critics are terrified by Regular Show's gore, racism, Religious references, and Educational value. But this is because they are pussies. It is also possible that Jay Gay Quintel was on shrooms when he came up with the idea for this show. Oscar Wilde believes that Regular Show will educate children for the future. Unfortunately, it had to be a cartoon.
Actually, I'm lying. Critics hate Regular Show and Cartoon Network wanted it cancelled. But thanks to the brute force of the fearsome Regular Show fan club, it will stay on the air for a long, long time. Nostradamus predicts that it will last for 500 more seasons. Apparently, the critics are also on shrooms for disliking the most well-constructed piece of trash on television in years.
|01||“Pot O' Pot”|
|Mordecai and Rigby are bored on a rainy day. Benson keeps telling them that they should work, but they ignore him as usual. Rigby goes into the basement to look for some anti-boredom devices, and ends up finding a pot of pot. He decides to hog it all to himself and begins inhaling it. He immediately gets high and imagines himself being in Disneyland due to the high amount of talking animals, much to his anger. After beating up/killing every talking animal in sight, Rigby soon realizes that he himself is a talking animal. A few days later, Mordecai goes into the basement, discovering the leftover pot next to Rigby's bloody corpse. Mordecai then gets high on it. A couple hours later, Benson soon walks in and discovers Mordecai's hanging body... and the pot...|
|02||“Mordecai Sees Pops Naked”|
|The mailman gives a package to Mordecai. He sees that it is the imported moustache comb that Pops ordered a month ago. He goes to bring it to him, when he suddenly sees Pop's naked and screams, but for some reason, continues staring. Since then, everything Mordecai saw reminded him of nude Pops. Rigby decides to do something about it. At the video store, he finds an unlabelled tape which he decides to show Mordecai to bring his mind off Pops. When he turns it on, it turns out to be a 60-hour Rickroll video. Mordecai is now scarred for life and kills himself. Benson arrives, having been interrupted from his shower by the noise, when suddenly his towel comes off. Rigby continuously stares at his junkmail...|
|Benson informs everyone that the park will be destroyed by flying monkeys, and the guys plan to call Rigby's brother, Douche, to save the park. Rigby hates Douche because he used to jizz in his mouth when he slept. This problem causes matters to become only worse. Douce decides to run away because Rigby won't "give him some sugar", Rigby is forced to find him and apologize. Later, Douce admits that he only jizzed on Rigby because he was bullied as a kid. Douce and Rigby return just in the nick of time. Douce manages to save the park by farting in the flying monkeys' mouths. Rigby finally shows respect for his brother and decides to show it by "giving him some sugar".|
|Mordecai and Rigby have had enough with Hi Five Ghost haunting their underpants. They seek Skips' help to summon another demon spirit to get rid of HFG. They perform the ancient spirit-summoning technique of doing the chicken dance. Unfortunately, Rigby does the duck dance by mistake. So they end summoning a child-eating demon known as Barney the dinosaur. Later, they invite the park residents to watch a ghost fight. After a long ghostly battle, HFG kills Barney by bitchslapping him with a combat boot. Everyone is then killed by the explosive impact.|
|Muscle Man prank calls the president of Russia and tells him one of his "My Mom" jokes. Putin thinks he is a foreign invader who plans to kill everyone, so he calls his troops to go to America and kidnap Muscle Man. Mordecai and Rigby wander into a Russian sub and also end up in Russia, where they are forced to learn Russian, and just in time to save Muscle Man. However, they didn't. Instead they had a Russian style wedding. Muscle Man was brutally killed with AK-47s and a hobo with a shotgun. This episode was never shown again because it was offensive to Russian viewers everywhere.|
|Benson decides to attend anger management classes for obvious reasons. Mordecai and Rigby find this as the perfect opportunity to ruin Benson. Later at anger management class, they do all sorts of annoying-ass antics, like screaming like idiots, farting the alphabet, farting Justin Bieber songs, and telling Benson that they slept with his mistress (which was actually true). Benson eventually goes ballistic and kills himself with a battle ax he found under his desk. Mordecai and Rigby enjoy eating Benson's scattered balls off the floor, but are soon ripped apart by their hungry and very angry classmates, who then kill each other fighting over the gumballs. Let's just say the janitor had to clean up one hell of a bloody mess.|
|07||“Under Down Under”|
|Mordecai and Rigby find sweepstakes on the doorstep, saying that they have won a trip to the land Down Under. Hence their stupidity, they immediately think they are going to Australia. Hours later, they find out that they have actually won a trip to the land UNDER Down Under, having misread the sweepstakes. They realize this when they end up in Australian Hell, and get endlessly tortured by Satanic Drop bears and Tasmanian Devils. Back at the park, Benson finds out what happened and thinks he should call everyone for a rescue party. He thought it over and soon decided that he didn't give a crap.|
|After watching an episode of The Crocodile Hunter, Mordecai and Rigby want to wrestle crocodiles. They decide to seek help from their hero, Steve Irwin, only to find out the tragic story that he was dead. They go to Skips and ask him for some devices so that they could bring Steve Irwin back from the dead. Skips tells them that it is dangerous, and refuses. Rigby decides to resurrect Steve Irwin by using a frying pan and batter. Mordecai tries talking him out of it, but nobody gave a crap. So they tried out their experiment, only to summon a demon pancake that bites off their heads and balls. At least they didn't resurrect Hitler.|
|09||“Regular Show Episode (in Shit-o-Vision)”|
|Mordecai and Rigby prostitute to people in the park after having ideas about sex toys. But they end up dying for stupid reasons and Rigby eats a turkeyburger in the process. Nothing special...|
|10||“World War III”|
|Mordecai and Rigby decide to do something nice for Skips because it was his birthday. They hear Skips reminiscing about his days as a soldier during the two World Wars. After watching this touching moment, Mordecai goes to get |
|Rigby becomes addicted to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic by watching a 45-hour marathon on TV. This stops everyone else from sleeping and increases the power bill. Skips tells everyone that Rigby has Brony Fever, indicated by Rigby's MLPFIM fetish and the fact that Mordecai discovered Rigby had made a shrine of Rainbow Dash. As a drastic measure, they smash the TV to pieces. This causes Rigby to snap and cut himself repeatedly. Causing him to meet Ducreux'ed, the biggest dildo on the face of the Earth.|
|12||"Black Ops 2”|
|Mordecai and Rigby go to the video game store to buy the recently released game Black Ops 2. However, they find out the last game was already sold to Muscle Man and HFG. Mordecai and Rigby ask them if they can have it, but Muscle Man tells them they can suck it! Rigby remembers buying a tornado in a can, and gets it. After applying a can opener, he unleashes a giant tornado to pick up Muscle Man's trailer and drop it off a cliff. Mordecai and Rigby see the game in the console, which was dropped from the tornado miraculously unharmed. Mordecai and Rigby then set off to play the game which had almost nothing to do with the episode other than its title. Meanwhile, the tornado destroys much of the park, but nobody cares.|