From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Regular Show is an unfittingly-named cartoon created by Jay Gee Quintel. Unlike other kid-friendly shows on Cartoon Network, Regular Show is unique for its stoner-oriented humor and has received a surprisingly large amount of praise from adults.
The show stars two friends named Mordecai and Rigby, who work as groundskeepers in the park. Most episodes revolve around them being lazy slackers and finding a way to ditch work so they can play video games. Unfortunately, they always screw things up and end up nearly destroying the world in an epic way. Due to the park's poor management and overpopulation of deadly killer chimps, no humans work there. Only animals, monsters, and objects are brave or stupid enough to want to be employed.
Mordecai is a narcissistic, six-foot tall blue jay who frequently gets himself in awkward situations with girls due to his lack of social skills. To make up for this, Mordecai owns Rigby at many things and constantly punches him in the shoulder to express dominance. Despite being a bird, Mordecai can't fly. He probably doesn't know he's a bird, but nobody cares to tell him. Mordecai is a devoted supporter and corporate pawn of the scientologists.
Rigby (also known as Trashboat) is the drunk, foul-mouthed, lazy-ass crybaby of the show. He is three years old, but somehow fooled everyone into thinking he was 23. He is often physically and sexually harassed by Mordecai because he owns Rigby at almost everything in life. He is the oldest of two siblings, along with his younger brother who is the size of an average adult man despite being a raccoon. This implies that Rigby is either a midget, or a completely normal raccoon while his brother is the bastard child of a raccoon and a human being.
Benson is a possessed gumball machine who enjoys bossing around Mordecai and Rigby and disguises himself as a Jew (hence the gumball topper thing that looks like a kippah). On average, Rigby has more sex than Mordecai, and both have more sex than Benson sex due to his apparent lack of a penis. He is single and alone because of this. Benson has the annoying habit of turning red and going ape shit every time he finds his employees slacking off. If you eat his gumballs he will hunt you down. Seriously, he knows where you live! Let him in or you're fired!
Skips is a talking albino gorilla who is the smartest character on the show. He used to be a world-famous philosopher until McDonalds came along and stole his fame, glory and chicks. This left poor Skips no choice but to leave and work at his crap job with Mordecai and Rigby. He is the only one who understands Benson's pain, so naturally he is given the best jobs in the park, such as inspecting bikinis, making the other groundskeepers jealous of him. Still, Skips hates his life. This understandably sucks, considering he has been granted eternal youth. He fought in the Revolutionary War, American Civil War, World War 1, World War 2, Korean War, Vietnam War, and the Gulf War.
Pops is a creepy old man with an unusually large head, Despite this, he has a tiny brain and the thinking capacity of a small child. In fact, Pops has been known to use lollipops as money. Oddly enough, Pops himself is a lollipop, which means that he spends his own children on material items. Nobody knows about the true origin of Pops, but one theory suggests that a lollipop fell into a puddle of nuclear waste and developed human qualities. Mordecai and Pops possibly share a bisexual attraction for each other, for Mordecai continued to look at his penis in one episode, and Pops....let him watch.
edit Muscle Man
Mitch "Muscle Man" Sorrenstein is a sentient, green-skinned mass of lard of indeterminate species. He constantly makes unfunny jokes about his mom in order to gain public approval, only to come off as irritating and racially offensive. He also lives in a trailer located in the outskirts of the park and squeals like a wild boar when in distress. His only friend is a demonic spirit with a hand growing out of its brain. Unless you count his wife named Starla who is essentially a gender-bent clone of him.
edit Hi Five Ghost
Hi Five Ghost (HFG) is a demonic spirit with a cold bony hand growing out of its brain. It doesn't really talk much, but communicates through moans and cusses, usually whenever it gets raped by Muscle Man. Legend has it that HFG is the spirit of Saddam Hussein's long-lost half brother.
Some hot Canadian chick from Toronto who works as an escort/bartender at Mordecai and Rigby's favorite strip-club. Mordecai gets an erection every time he sees her, but doesn't have the courage to ask her out. She is completely unaware that Mordecai has a crush on her, even though he once raped her when she wasn't looking. She is also a bird with boobs, that about sums it all up.
Cloudy Jay "CJ" was Mordecai's temporary girlfriend that he cheated on Margaret with, then did the same thing in reverse a few seasons later. She's similar to Margaret, except she is a cloud person.
Eileen is a mole, beaver...gopher...thingy ma bobber. Nobody, even Margaret gives a shit about her. They only talk to her and give her 0.000001% of their attention because she is a homocidal maniac. Eileen wants to ride Rigby's pulsing Rigboner. Eileen secretly masturbates to pictures that she takes of Rigby in the coffee shop when he's not looking. She is also secretly a lolicon.
A new character who was introduced to the show to make it slightly more interesting, even though he is not. Thomas is surprisingly not a tank engine, but rather a goat with a goatee, a sort of Meg Griffin analog. The writers soon got bored of him, turned him into a Russian spy, and removed him from the series.
edit Critical Reception
Regular Show is universally praised for its gore, racism, religious references, and educational value. It is also believed that Jay Gay Quintel was on shrooms when he came up with the idea for this show. Oscar Wilde believes that Regular Show will educate children for the future. Unfortunately, it had to be a cartoon.
Actually, We're lying. critics hate Regular Show and Cartoon Network wanted it cancelled. But thanks to the brute force of the fearsome Regular Show fanbase, it will stay on the air for a long, long time. Nostradamus predicts that it will last for 500 more seasons. Apparently, the critics are also on shrooms for disliking the most well-constructed piece of trash on television in years.
edit Season 1
|01||“Pot O' Pot”|
|Mordecai and Rigby are bored on a rainy day. Benson keeps telling them that they should work, but they ignore him as usual. Rigby goes into the basement to look for some anti-boredom devices, and ends up finding a pot of pot. He decides to hog it all to himself and begins inhaling it. He immediately gets high and imagines himself being in Disneyland due to the high amount of talking animals, much to his anger. After beating up/killing every talking animal in sight, Rigby soon realizes that he himself is a talking animal. A few days later, Mordecai goes into the basement, discovering the leftover pot next to Rigby's bloody corpse. Mordecai then gets high on it. A couple hours later, Benson soon walks in and discovers Mordecai's hanging body... and the pot...|
|02||“Mordecai Sees Pops Naked”|
|The mailman gives a package to Mordecai. He sees that it is the imported moustache comb that Pops ordered a month ago. He goes to bring it to him, when he suddenly sees Pop's naked and screams, but for some reason, continues staring. Since then, everything Mordecai saw reminded him of nude Pops. Rigby decides to do something about it. At the video store, he finds an unlabelled tape which he decides to show Mordecai to bring his mind off Pops. When he turns it on, it turns out to be a 60-hour Rickroll video. Mordecai is now scarred for life and kills himself. Benson arrives, having been interrupted from his shower by the noise, when suddenly his towel comes off. Rigby continuously stares at his junkmail...|
|Benson informs everyone that the park will be destroyed by flying monkeys, and the guys plan to call Rigby's brother, Douche, to save the park. Rigby hates Douche because he used to jizz in his mouth when he slept. This problem causes matters to become only worse. Douce decides to run away because Rigby won't "give him some sugar", Rigby is forced to find him and apologize. Later, Douce admits that he only jizzed on Rigby because he was bullied as a kid. Douce and Rigby return just in the nick of time. Douce manages to save the park by farting in the flying monkeys' mouths. Rigby finally shows respect for his brother and decides to show it by "giving him some sugar".|
|Mordecai and Rigby have had enough with Hi Five Ghost haunting their underpants. They seek Skips' help to summon another demon spirit to get rid of HFG. They perform the ancient spirit-summoning technique of doing the chicken dance. Unfortunately, Rigby does the duck dance by mistake. So they end summoning a child-eating demon known as Barney the dinosaur. Later, they invite the park residents to watch a ghost fight. After a long ghostly battle, HFG kills Barney by bitchslapping him with a combat boot. Everyone is then killed by the explosive impact.|
|Muscle Man prank calls the president of Russia and tells him one of his "My Mom" jokes. Putin thinks he is a foreign invader who plans to kill everyone, so he calls his troops to go to America and kidnap Muscle Man. Mordecai and Rigby wander into a Russian sub and also end up in Russia, where they are forced to learn Russian, and just in time to save Muscle Man. However, they didn't. Instead they had a Russian style wedding. Muscle Man was brutally killed with AK-47s and a hobo with a shotgun. This episode was never shown again because it was offensive to Russian viewers everywhere.|
|Benson decides to attend anger management classes for obvious reasons. Mordecai and Rigby find this as the perfect opportunity to ruin Benson. Later at anger management class, they do all sorts of annoying-ass antics, like screaming like idiots, farting the alphabet, farting Justin Bieber songs, and telling Benson that they slept with his mistress (which was actually true). Benson eventually goes ballistic and kills himself with a battle ax he found under his desk. Mordecai and Rigby enjoy eating Benson's scattered balls off the floor, but are soon ripped apart by their hungry and very angry classmates, who then kill each other fighting over the gumballs. Let's just say the janitor had to clean up one hell of a bloody mess.|
|07||“Under Down Under”|
|Mordecai and Rigby find sweepstakes on the doorstep, saying that they have won a trip to the land Down Under. Hence their stupidity, they immediately think they are going to Australia. Hours later, they find out that they have actually won a trip to the land UNDER Down Under, having misread the sweepstakes. They realize this when they end up in Australian Hell, and get endlessly tortured by Satanic Drop bears and Tasmanian Devils. Back at the park, Benson finds out what happened and thinks he should call everyone for a rescue party. He thought it over and soon decided that he didn't give a crap.|
|After watching an episode of The Crocodile Hunter, Mordecai and Rigby want to wrestle crocodiles. They decide to seek help from their hero, Steve Irwin, only to find out the tragic story that he was dead. They go to Skips and ask him for some devices so that they could bring Steve Irwin back from the dead. Skips tells them that it is dangerous, and refuses. Rigby decides to resurrect Steve Irwin by using a frying pan and batter. Mordecai tries talking him out of it, but nobody gave a crap. So they tried out their experiment, only to summon a demon pancake that bites off their heads and balls. At least they didn't resurrect Hitler.|
|09||“Regular Show Episode (in Shit-o-Vision)”|
|Mordecai and Rigby prostitute to people in the park after having ideas about sex toys. But they end up dying for stupid reasons and Rigby eats a turkeyburger in the process. Nothing special...|
|10||“World War III”|
|Mordecai and Rigby decide to do something nice for Skips because it was his birthday. They hear Skips reminiscing about his days as a soldier during the two World Wars. After watching this touching moment, Mordecai goes to get |
edit Season 2
|Rigby becomes addicted to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic by watching a 45-hour marathon on TV. This stops everyone else from sleeping and increases the power bill. Skips tells everyone that Rigby has Brony Fever, indicated by Rigby's MLPFIM fetish and the fact that Mordecai discovered Rigby had made a shrine of Rainbow Dash. As a drastic measure, they smash the TV to pieces. This causes Rigby to snap and cut himself repeatedly. Causing him to meet Ducreux'ed, the biggest dildo on the face of the Earth.|
|12||"Black Ops 2”|
|Mordecai and Rigby go to the video game store to buy the recently released game Black Ops 2. However, they find out the last game was already sold to Muscle Man and HFG. Mordecai and Rigby ask them if they can have it, but Muscle Man tells them they can suck it! Rigby remembers buying a tornado in a can, and gets it. After applying a can opener, he unleashes a giant tornado to pick up Muscle Man's trailer and drop it off a cliff. Mordecai and Rigby see the game in the console, which was dropped from the tornado miraculously unharmed. Mordecai and Rigby then set off to play the game which had almost nothing to do with the episode other than its title. Meanwhile, the tornado destroys much of the park, but nobody cares.|
For a complete list of episodes, see here.