Red mage
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How else are they going to find it?
“Fly, my pretties!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Red Mages
Red Mages, a fanatic cult of magic-using men, are the supra-intellectual offspring of Oscar Wilde. Generally, it is observed that a Red Mage is born every time Oscar Wilde is (mis)quoted, as intended by his writings.
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[edit] Mission Directive
The primary directive of the Red Mage is to kill Blue Mages, the arch-nemesi of Oscar Wilde. This is achieved by either an obscene usage of low-level magic, or through the raping of the Blue Mage's anus (The semen of any Red Mage is mostly highly-concentrated acid, much like the blood of Aliens, made famous by Oscar Wilde in his film E.T.).
Red Mages are most commonly found in the (un)popular RPG series, FinalFantasy, to which they prepare for their duties by maxing-out a selection of statistical attributes. Once reaching an uber-munchkin state, they proceed to take down Blue Mages by the thousands. After finishing their civil duties, they deform into a mass of gray goo, and replicate themselves until trodden on (due in part to a programming error in the Red Mage's coding unkown... stuff... AMNIESIA DUST)
[edit] Not Just a Fashion Statement...
Red Mages follow a strict ethos, requiring them to wear a fashionable ensemble of red feathered hats, red cloaks, red gauntlets and red boots at all times. The only part of the Red Mage outfit not made out of red is the nose, generally considered to be made from reds' less confident cousin pink. Not only does the gaudy outfit allow them to differentiate themselves between the similar style of Blue Mages (who are basically just a cheap sprite recolor of the Red Mage), but it also draws the attention of the bulls and bullfighters that are their primary source of nourishment (Other than a piece of dry macaroni, which is kept inside of their hats at all times and never actually eaten).
[edit] Debated Sexual Orientation
It is a widely accepted fact that all Red Mages are unquestionably bisexual, due to having suspected unwillingness for procreation. It is also known that they enjoy cross-dressing and calling themselves Debora. Their only excuse for this erratic behaviour is 'father issues', as their father being Oscar Wilde we treat these claims as true.
