Red light

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{{Q|Roxanne, you seriously shouldn't put that thing on. You look absolutely terrible in it.|[[The Police]]|the red light}}
 
<big>'''Ah, a <span style="color:green">GREEN</span> light.'''</big> Green lights always get me in a good mood. A mood to help humanity through their struggles. I always feel good with green lights. They help me through the bad times, and in fact, my family says I beat them less often the more green lights I come to.
 
 
[[Image:Redlight.jpg|right|160px]]
 
[[Image:Redlight.jpg|right|160px]]
=<span style="color:Chartreuse">YELLOWISH GREEN</span>=
+
{{Q|Roxanne, you seriously shouldn't put that thing on. You look absolutely terrible in it.|[[The Police]]|the red light}}
<big>'''NO, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!'''</big> I just had a horrible day at work, with people demanding papers and so forth! You can't do this. Not now, you asshole! Okay, nevermind. I can still make it. It's like, a block away.
+
<br />{{Listen|filename=Red light.mp3|title=Red light (audio)|description=The police have obtained an audio recording of this "situation" for your listening pleasure.}}<br /><br /><br />
   
=<span style="color:YellowGreen">GREENISH YELLOW=
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=<span style="color:#0f0;">GREEN</span>=
  +
<big>'''Ah, a <span style="color:#0f0;">GREEN</span> light.'''</big> [[Green]] lights always get me in a good mood. A mood to help humanity through their struggles. I always feel good with green lights. They help me through the [[anger management|bad times]], and in fact, my family says I beat them less often the more green lights I come to.
  +
__NOTOC__ __NOEDITSECTION__
  +
=<span style="color:Chartreuse;">YELLOWISH GREEN</span>=
  +
<big>'''NO, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!'''</big> I just had a horrible day at work, with people demanding papers and so forth! You can't do this. Not now, you [[asshole]]! Okay, never mind. I can still make it. It's like, a block away.
  +
  +
=<span style="color:greenyellow;">GREENISH YELLOW</span>=
 
<big>'''NO, REALLY! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!'''</big> Oh, okay, I get the game you're playing you damn light. You think I'm gonna slow down for a greenish yellow light? Nah, it's still basically a block away.
 
<big>'''NO, REALLY! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!'''</big> Oh, okay, I get the game you're playing you damn light. You think I'm gonna slow down for a greenish yellow light? Nah, it's still basically a block away.
   
=<span style="color:greenyellow">YELLOWISH YELLOW=
+
=<span style="color:#CEFF00;">YELLOWISH YELLOW</span>=
 
<big>'''OH PLEASE, OH PLEASE NO!'''</big> Okay, okay, maybe I was too drastic? I'll make a deal with you, please, let me make a deal with you! I swear I'll stop beating my kids, okay? I swear on my ''mother's grave''! Oh man, it's still half a block away: who cares.
 
<big>'''OH PLEASE, OH PLEASE NO!'''</big> Okay, okay, maybe I was too drastic? I'll make a deal with you, please, let me make a deal with you! I swear I'll stop beating my kids, okay? I swear on my ''mother's grave''! Oh man, it's still half a block away: who cares.
   
=<span style="color:yellow">YELLOW=
+
=<span style="color:yellow;">YELLOW</span>=
<big>'''OH SHIT, OH SHIT!'''</big> OKAY, so I lied! My mom's not dead! Please have mercy, God! Okay, how about this? I swear I won't think any more bad thoughts, okay? I won't even think them, just please make this light green! If I just speed up, I can make this light.
+
<big>'''OH SHIT, OH SHIT!'''</big> OKAY, so I lied! My mom's not dead! Please have mercy, [[God]]! Okay, how about this? I swear I won't think any more [[Crimethink|bad thoughts]], okay? I won't even think them, just please make this light green! If I just speed up, I can make this light.
  +
  +
=<span style="color:#FFDA00;">GOLDENROD</span>=
  +
<big>'''OH JESUS SHITBALLS!'''</big> I swear to you, [[Jesus]], and [[Buddha]], and [[Satan]] (don't want to make anyone angry) that I will never do anything illegal ever again. I'll stop seeing Spider, okay? I will stop being a [[Xanax]] fiend if you JUST MAKE THIS LIGHT GREEN. I'M GOING 80 NOW, SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL.
  +
  +
=<span style="color:#FF9700;">ORANGE</span>=
  +
<big>'''OH SLIPFUCK CRAP!'''</big> NO, this isn't happening. I'm sorry, okay? I'm really sorry this time. I wish I could bring that [[hobo]] back to life, but who are we [[I am not kidding|kidding]]? Please, lord, MAKE IT GREEN BEFORE I HIT THE LIGHT, OKAY? 90 DOES NOT LEND ITSELF WELL TO COLLISIONS.
  +
  +
=<span style="color:OrangeRed;">ORANGE-ISH RED</span>=
  +
<big>'''SON OF A BITCH!'''</big> I'm not THAT BAD a person, AM I, LORD? I know ''today'' I was bad, but I'm not evil all the time, right?! Okay, get a hold of yourself, get a hold of yourself: I can still make it, if I push this hatchback to... [[Warp drive|maximum overdrive]].
   
=<span style="color:pink">PINK=
+
=<span style="color:Crimson">CRIMSON</span>=
<big>'''OH JESUS SHITBALLS!'''</big> I swear to you, Jesus, and Buddha, and Satan (don't want to make anyone angry) that I will never do anything illegal ever again. I'll stop seeing Spider, okay? I will stop being a Xanax fiend if you JUST MAKE THIS LIGHT GREEN. I'M GOING 80 NOW, SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL.
+
<big>'''OH SHITHOLYMARYFUCKDAMN!'''</big> OKAY! ''I'M SORRY!'' I WILL BRING THAT HOBO BACK TO LIFE IF YOU JUST HELP ME WITH THIS ONE THING, OKAY? ''THAT'S ALL.'' I swear I'll bring myself before the mercy of the court for my [[cannibalism]], okay, ''IF YOU WOULD JUST MAKE IT GREEN BEFORE I HIT THE LIGHT! A HUNDRED N' TEN IS FAST ENOUGH, DON'T YOU THINK?''
  +
<br /><br /><br />[[Image:Car_explosion.jpg|center|600px]]
  +
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
   
=<span style="color:DeepPink">DARK PINK=
+
=<span style="color:red;">DEEPEST, DARKEST BLOOD RED=
<big>'''OH SLIPFUCK CRAP!'''</big> NO, this isn't happening. I'm sorry, okay? I'm ''really sorry'' this time. I wish I could bring that hobo back to life, but who are we kidding? Please, lord, MAKE IT GREEN BEFORE I HIT THE LIGHT, OKAY? 90 DOES NOT LEND ITSELF WELL TO COLLISIONS.
+
<big>'''Ah, jeez.'''</big> Screw you, God! You know how long lights are downtown?<br /><br /><br />
   
=<span style="color:OrangeRed">ORANGERED=
 
<big>'''SON OF A BITCH!'''</big> I'm not THAT BAD a person, AM I, LORD? Today was real bad! Okay, get a hold of yourself, get a hold of yourself: I can still make it, if I push this hatchback to... maximum overdrive.
 
   
=<span style="color:Crimson">CRIMSON=
+
<div align="center"><big><big><big><!-- --><big><big><big><span style="line-height:1em;">'''THE END...'''</span></big></big></big><br /><br />
<big>'''OH SHITHOLYMARYFUCKDAMN!'''</big> OKAY! ''I'M SORRY!'' I WILL BRING THAT HOBO BACK TO LIFE IF YOU JUST HELP ME WITH THIS ONE THING, OKAY? ''THAT'S ALL.'' I swear I'll bring myself before the mercy of the court for my cannibalism, okay, ''IF YOU WOULD JUST MAKE IT GREEN BEFORE I HIT THE LIGHT! A HUNDRED N' TEN IS FAST ENOUGH, DON'T YOU THINK?''
+
''OR IS IT?''</big></big></big><br />
<br><br><br>[[Image:Car_explosion.jpg|center]]
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<small>Yeah, it is.</small><br /><br /><br /><br /></div>
<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
 
   
=<span style="color:RED">DEEPEST DEEP RED=
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{{2007Top10|11 February 2008}}
<big>'''Ah, jeez.'''</big> Screw you, God. You know how long lights are downtown?<br><br><br>
+
{{FA|date=17 October 2007|revision=2465357}}
   
<div align="center"><BIG><BIG><BIG><BIG><BIG><BIG>'''THE END...'''</BIG></BIG></BIG><br><br>''OR IS IT?''</BIG></BIG></BIG><br><small>Yeah, it is.</small><br><br><br><br><br><br>
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[[Category:Red round things]]
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[[Category:Articles written in the first person]]
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[[Category:Dangerous]]
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[[Category:Things you'll find wandering the streets of New York City]]
   
{{VFH}}
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[[pt:Semáforo]]
{{cars}}
 

Latest revision as of 01:49, August 28, 2011

Redlight
“Roxanne, you seriously shouldn't put that thing on. You look absolutely terrible in it.”
~ The Police on the red light





GREEN

Ah, a GREEN light. Green lights always get me in a good mood. A mood to help humanity through their struggles. I always feel good with green lights. They help me through the bad times, and in fact, my family says I beat them less often the more green lights I come to.

YELLOWISH GREEN

NO, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I just had a horrible day at work, with people demanding papers and so forth! You can't do this. Not now, you asshole! Okay, never mind. I can still make it. It's like, a block away.

GREENISH YELLOW

NO, REALLY! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! Oh, okay, I get the game you're playing you damn light. You think I'm gonna slow down for a greenish yellow light? Nah, it's still basically a block away.

YELLOWISH YELLOW

OH PLEASE, OH PLEASE NO! Okay, okay, maybe I was too drastic? I'll make a deal with you, please, let me make a deal with you! I swear I'll stop beating my kids, okay? I swear on my mother's grave! Oh man, it's still half a block away: who cares.

YELLOW

OH SHIT, OH SHIT! OKAY, so I lied! My mom's not dead! Please have mercy, God! Okay, how about this? I swear I won't think any more bad thoughts, okay? I won't even think them, just please make this light green! If I just speed up, I can make this light.

GOLDENROD

OH JESUS SHITBALLS! I swear to you, Jesus, and Buddha, and Satan (don't want to make anyone angry) that I will never do anything illegal ever again. I'll stop seeing Spider, okay? I will stop being a Xanax fiend if you JUST MAKE THIS LIGHT GREEN. I'M GOING 80 NOW, SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL.

ORANGE

OH SLIPFUCK CRAP! NO, this isn't happening. I'm sorry, okay? I'm really sorry this time. I wish I could bring that hobo back to life, but who are we kidding? Please, lord, MAKE IT GREEN BEFORE I HIT THE LIGHT, OKAY? 90 DOES NOT LEND ITSELF WELL TO COLLISIONS.

ORANGE-ISH RED

SON OF A BITCH! I'm not THAT BAD a person, AM I, LORD? I know today I was bad, but I'm not evil all the time, right?! Okay, get a hold of yourself, get a hold of yourself: I can still make it, if I push this hatchback to... maximum overdrive.

CRIMSON

OH SHITHOLYMARYFUCKDAMN! OKAY! I'M SORRY! I WILL BRING THAT HOBO BACK TO LIFE IF YOU JUST HELP ME WITH THIS ONE THING, OKAY? THAT'S ALL. I swear I'll bring myself before the mercy of the court for my cannibalism, okay, IF YOU WOULD JUST MAKE IT GREEN BEFORE I HIT THE LIGHT! A HUNDRED N' TEN IS FAST ENOUGH, DON'T YOU THINK?




Car explosion














DEEPEST, DARKEST BLOOD RED

Ah, jeez. Screw you, God! You know how long lights are downtown?



THE END...

OR IS IT?

Yeah, it is.




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