Red Screen of Death
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The Red Screen of Death is the most deadly thing in existance. It is a cross between the Red Ring of Death and the Blue Screen of Death.
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[edit] Properties
The Red Screen of Death can obliterate everything. This includes Samurais, Pirates, Ninjas, Cockroaches, Chuck Norris, Ubergrues, Ninja Pirates, You, Everything and even Death himself. It's that powerful. Luckily, the RSoD will destroy itself. Otherwise it would instantly obliterate the universe.
No one has ever seen a RSoD, since the victims of it are killed before the light reaches their eyes. The light is killed as well. But this is a good thing since the sight of the RSoD can suck out the victims souls. In the case they should lack souls it will create souls just to suck them out. In some cases it will turn you into a bisexual zombie afflicted with AIDS.
[edit] How to Avoid
No one knows how to avoid the deadly RSoD. It helps to get away from computers, but given there is a computer within a 50 mile radius you are still at risk. Throwing away your xbox is beneficial because the RSoD will have no red ring and be forced to revert to a BSoD. You are still vulnerable if there are other xboxes nearby.
[edit] What it really is
The RSoD is actually a LED screen glitch that sends out infrared light with the wavelength of gamma radiation, even though it is not. This is why it kills you without seeing it. Because it's invisible, while if you took a picture of it, the camera would be destroyed.
The glitch can happen if you don't have a LED screen, as it is also known as the fire that you see in your face as you spontaneously combust.
Not only that but any fridge in a 500 mile radius would spontanuosly explode for no aparent reason. BUT this spontanous fridge combustion effect is used as a power source in many other worlds, it is also known as W.E.I.R.D. Weirdly Eccentric Interstellar Roaming Dlopp.
This Dlopp is Like Bill Gates but only smaller, particle size, you usually have quite a lot of Dlopp in your Bio-system. This Dlopp is more like particle size Tony Blair (than Bill Gates) - Moderately clever, very smily and only a small bit eccentric. But when they becomes weird, eccentric, interstellar and roaming they becomes dangerous and the wavelength of the Infa-Gamma radiation reacts with the gases of refrigirators and more importantly, You. The official formula is something like this:
[edit] Famous Incidents
- US president George Washington died after experiencing the RSoD when he was reading the surrender email from England. Fortunately he had already replied to the email before being RSoD'ed.
- L. Ron Hubbard allegedly told members of the Church of Scientology "I am a moderator. Give me your password." Whilst using the stolen passwords to steal money, he was struck with the RSoD. Other sources claim he was nuking a group of followers that had lost their money at the time.
- Elvis died of a RSoD while trying to record a video for youtube.
- You will die of a RSoD in exactly 7 days if you do not forward this page to at least 10 friends.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger was booted from office after making false promises (he indeed did not come back).
- Chuck Norris was nearly destroyed by a RSoD, but managed to save himself at the last second by roundhouse kicking it.
- Godzilla once attacked a RSoD, witch is why it ran to Tokyo. Note that this was before Sony lost to Microsoft...
- The RSOD cannot kill Maynard James Keenan (God) or James Hetfield (God's second in command), because they can
blind anyone with they're awesomeness
[edit] How to Cause
What you will need-
- A computer stuck on the Blue Screen of Death
- A Red Ring of Death
- A serious deathwish, or the need to kill an Eurg
Combine all three in a gigantic bowl. Congratulations, you just screwed us all.
[edit] Benefits for mankind
Although this is still under tests on the S.O.D.A. (Screen Of Death Agency), the RSoD can be useful for humanity since, as it destroys preety much everything, one could, theoreticaly, throw all those people who just live to annoy everybody else, including You, inside a closed room isolated with some metal extracted from pluto (where the RSoD loses its power due to cold temperature), where it would also be a RSoD infected computer, thus ridding mankind of all those annoying people who nobody wants around, not even Your mom.
