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Monday, May 25, 2015, 16:21 (UTC)

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Richiii
LEICESTER England, -- Just three years after the discovery of King Richard III under a car park, thousands of car park managers are discovering British Kings under their car parks.

After the Royal Family paid 520 years' backlog of parking fines, Philippa Langley has been inundated with calls from car park owners, claiming to also have Kings buried under their car parks. Full story»


Letterman in dumpster
UnNews Logo Potato1LATE-NIGHT TV
NEW YORK CITY -- Late Show host David Letterman was thrown out just hours after the legendary show's final episode.

CBS Vice President of Replacements Josh Earnest said, "Out with the old, in with the new. Dave fell asleep in the chair behind what used to be his desk. You snooze, you lose." Full story»

Athena and flag
UnNews Logo Potato1SOAP OPERAS
ATHENS, Greece -- Greece will not repay its IMF debt in June unless a deal is struck to let Greece repay part of the old loans with a dollop of new loans, which Greece will promise to repay.

"Things have matured for a deal of logic. This is the bet," Voutsis said, showing that, tragically, even the good translator has been sacked due to the financial crisis. Full story»


Scouts
IRVING, Texas -- The National Council of the Boy Scouts has unveiled new policies banning anything to do with guns and other weapons including sickles and Popsicles.

A Cub Scout leader in Sunnyvale, California who has scolded both members of her den about "threatening" things like Hulk Hogan lunchpails hopes the new policy boosts membership, but opinion is running against her. Full story»

TMay
LONDON, Oceania -- Home Secretary Teresa May has tasked Ofcom with vetting all media, including television and radio, before it releases material to the public.

The Home Secretary said in her announcement: "Ofcom is now known as the Ministry Of Information and will vet all media before it is released to the public." Full story»

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About UnNews
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UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible. Full story»

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TV Highlights May 25


No One Is Watching Government
C-SPAN 2:00 PM EDT/1:00 CDT
Why on earth are you even reading this? You KNOW damned well you are going to click over to USA for "Law & Order: SVU" without even checking this out. That's what everybody does. Why should you be any different? We could put on footage of Richard Nixon doing the Obama twins, and STILL no one would see it. Go watch something else. Anything else. NOW.

The Nazi Eaters Documentary
A&E 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
People eating fascists.

Topless Doctor's Office Reality
Showtime 3:00 PM EDT/2:00 CDT
Attractive women agree to let cameras into their mammogram sessions. Adult program

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