Reasons why people create articles with horribly long titles for no apparent reason, hoping somebody will randomly stumble upon it and remark on the length of the title, but then forget about it in five minutes later because their gay granny had a seizure

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“It's not that long”
~ Some Guy on Reasons Why People Create Articles With Horribly Long Titles For No Apparent Reason, Hoping Somebody Will Randomly Stumble Upon It And Remark On The Length Of The Title, But Then Forgets About It In Five Minutes Later Because Their Gay Granny Had A Seizure, which is an article thats not really that long on closer inspection, but could be longer if it used words of a nature that don't really make any sense to the article in question and just start to make a sort of random speech and somehow carry on the speech without needing a period, full stop, question mark, exclamation point, or any other kind of sentence stopping device, but will inevitable need one as the speech will just keep going on and on and on and on for eternity, ad infinitum, forever, infinitively, until they die, until the speaker's voice disappears, until everybody or almost everybody leaves and thus do not care, which is what some senators try to do to prevent a bill from becoming a law, which is called filibusting... and you know what I mean... oh wait do those count as periods? < that does!! PERIOD FULL STOP... ETC...
“That name is almost as long as mine.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Reasons Why People Create Articles With Horribly Long Titles For No Apparent Reason, Hoping Somebody Will Randomly Stumble Upon It And Remark On The Length Of The Title, But Then Forgets About It In Five Minutes Later Because Their Gay Granny Had A Seizure
“Oh no, I've said too much, haven't said enough!”
~ Michael Stipe on Reasons Why People Create Articles With Horribly Long Titles For No Apparent Reason, Hoping Somebody Will Randomly Stumble Upon It And Remark On The Length Of The Title, But Then Forgets About It In Five Minutes Later Because Their Gay Granny Had A Seizure
“Due to my superior intellect, and understanding of the magic otherwise known as Quantum Physics, I conclude that this is, in fact, the shortest name for an article ever.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Reasons Why People Create Articles With Horribly Long Titles For No Apparent Reason, Hoping Somebody Will Randomly Stumble Upon It And Remark On The Length Of The Title, But Then Forgets About It In Five Minutes Later Because Their Gay Granny Had A Seizure

I seriously haven't the slightest clue. I'm a teenager, not a Republican. And who the hell would ever link to this? Why would anyone ever want to know the reasons why people create articles with horribly long titles for no apparent reason, hoping somebody will randomly stumble upon it and remark on the length of the title, but then forget about it in five minutes later because their gay granny had a seizure? This sickens me. I mean seriously.

edit Reasons Why People Create Articles With Horribly Long Titles For No Apparent Reason, Hoping Somebody Will Randomly Stumble Upon It And Remark On The Length Of The Title, But Then Forgets About It In Five Minutes Later Because Their Gay Granny Had A Seizure

Okay, that was just the introduction, now let's move on to what this page is supposed to be about. We want to know what the reasons why people create articles with horribly long titles for no apparent reason, hoping somebody will randomly stumble upon it and remark on the length of the title, but then forget about it in five minutes later because their gay granny had a seizure are, and here they are:

  • Because they're Emo and they cut their wrists (no, seriously, that's not one of the reasons why people create articles with horribly long titles for no apparent reason, hoping somebody will randomly stumble upon it and remark on the length of the title, but then forget about it in five minutes later because their gay granny had a seizure, anyhow, let's move on to the real ones)
  • Because they're one of these people, just like little old me, whose brain overflows with so many words and so many sentences, and they have absolutely no friggin' chance whatsoever of breaking all the many words and all the many sentences that pop into their unbelievably overflowing mind, which boils over like an unwatched pot (which may have happened in the kitchen at your place if your mother or father or wife or whoever has been unstoppably busy preparing food for quite a surprisingly large number of guests, but doesn't have much time on his/her hands because they are arriving soon and he/she is trying to do three or four things simultaneously and ends up losing concentration on the pot), into something somewhat smaller, somehow.
  • They've got too much time on their hands.
  • They are in the service of Satan and are trying to bore people to death and introduce Pornography into the lives of them and their gay grannies.

edit Manifesto

This is a page that, among other things, has a title so unbelievably long that it will take almost an eternity to read, in which time you could have found the cure for cancer, AIDS, and heart disease, but you didn’t because you chose to read this title and wasted your chance to perfect humanity, further degrading our society and our children, and you are probably responsible for “all the wars in the world”, or at least that’s what Mel Gibson says, but I don’t care, because you are gay and the answer to life, the universe, and everything (also LUEshi) is 42, and I figured that out because I don’t waste my time reading long titles such as this, seriously, stop reading this title or I will kick you in the clitoris.

edit My Favorite Drink

Isn't it obvious? It's the Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice, you ignorant bastard!

edit Sincere Apology To LGBT Grandmothers

I am truly sorry if I have offended any lesiban, gay, bisexual, or transgender elderly double-parent resident of San Francisco. You fucking wrinkled faggots.

edit Random Thoughts

  • If I kiss a millipede, will it take me out to dinner?
    • Will the millipede love me?
    • Will my friends frown upon it?
      • Yes, yes they will.
      • And everyone will hate you for it.
      • I'm serious.
      • I won't!
      • go eat shit fuckers
  • Kazaa should have a mascot. It should be an aardvark. It could be called the Kazaaaardvark.
    • Alright, now you're just pushing it.
  • I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me!
    • WOMAN, DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO TAKE OFF MAH BELT!!!
  • Oh dear. Shall I move zig for great justice?
    • Oh yeah.
    • You know what you doing?
      • Not at all. I'm prepared for the horrible, such as the universe flipping over, so it should be okay.
  • I like TBS, FOB, MCR, Panic!. not really emo but faggot pop
  • If I cloned myself and had sex with it, would that be incest or masturbation?
    • I don't know, but that is an amazing idea.
    • Maybe if I made a demon version of myself using a [Succubus] and didn't use Wikipedia for a reference, then it would be an even better idea.

edit How To Bake A Cake

First, add The Star and Eagle and Baseball and Mom's Apple Pie and Rocky Mountain Sunset and Liberty Bell and Iwo Jima Statue and George Washington's Head Spangled Banner, Yee-Haw!. Then, stir in one Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice. Then, ponder What to do if you open your front door one day and there is a portal to an alternate dimension instead of what you expected to see, which was probably something along the lines of whatever is usually outside your house. I would then suggest going to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and buying some materials widely regarded as inappropriate for the construction of soft furnishings. After doing a research essay on the infamous Thunderstorm of 1976, you better start reading Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying, Sit Down and Relax for a Bit, Try and Read or Something, Maybe Eat a Cheese Sandwich, and Basically Do Anything Other Than Obsessively Think About Being Obliterated in a Massive Nuclear Explosion. This book explains why all the evil people in Star Wars have a British accent. After coming down with a severe case of Acute Haemorrhagic Pneumonosyphilaidsorrhea Pox Virus Syndrome, take the only known antidote, Keira Knightley In A White Corset And Kate Beckinsale In A Black One, followed by eating a lot of Fish Within A Fish Within A Fish Within A Fish Within Another Fish while doing some It doesn't matter what your answer is as long as you feel good about it mathematics. Lastly, don't forget to shave with a Gillette Good News! Trac II Atra Sensor Excel3 Turbo Power Fusion Power for Men and Women, this is key to the cake.

edit Restrictions On The Length Of Article Titles

As some may have noticed, or probably not (hopefully), though the title of an article can be horribly painstakingly long, there are restrictions. For example,

edit Krungthepmahanakonbowornratanakanatahu

“As one may have figured out by now, section titles do not have the restrictions of article titles.”
~ Captain Obvious on the above section title

Abuse this as much as you want, but don't expect it to show up in the table of contents, especially not if it's as long as shown above.

edit Congratulations!

You've passed the unwritten test by actually reading this entire article! You must have been through Vietnam already to have endured such a hardship. Take a bow, you prince of fools! Noobs, I should say. Yes, you must return to the beginning and use Orpheus[1] all over again.

edit See also

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