Real Ultimate Power

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Real Ultimate Power.
Deathbytank

An admin (i.e the mothafuckin' tank) and a vandal.

“Admins don't have REAL ULTIMATE POWER. I have REAL ULTIMATE POWER.”
~ Oscar Wilde on REAL ULTIMATE POWER

Hi, this site is all about Admins, REAL ADMINS. This site is awesome. My name is Anonymous, and I can't stop thinking about admins. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Facts

1. Admins are mammals.

2. Admins revert ALL the time.

3. The purpose of the admin is to FLIP OUT and block people.

4. Admins are so totally sweet that an admin can beat up Chuck Norris AND Pirate Ninja Jesus at the same time!

Weapons and gear

286

This is all an admin needs.

  • Keyboard (QWERTY or, very rarely, Dvorak)
  • Mouse (Well, not if on Linux)
  • Hordes of demonic minions (Well, only Splaka has those)

Testimonial

Admins can block anyone they want! Admins block users ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this admin who was looking at the Poland page. He reloaded it and it was blanked, and so the admin banned everyone in the page's history. My friend Llama Jesus once saw an admin block someone just because he mispeeled a word.

AND THAT'S WHAT I CALL REAL ULTIMATE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe admins have REAL ULTIMATE POWER then you'd better get a life right now or they will block you!!! It's an easy choice if you ask me.
Admins are soooooooo sweet I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Admins are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful and sweet. I love admins with all my body (including my wenis)

Q and A:

  • Why is everyone so obsessed with admins?
    • Admins are the ultimate paradox. On one hand, they will ban anyone without thinking twice, but on the other hand, admins work to uphold quality standards for Uncyclopedia.
  • I've heard that admins are always cruel or mean. What's their problem?
    • Whoever told you that is a total liar. Like all other mammals, admins can be mean or totally awesome.
  • What do admins do when they're not blocking people or flipping out?
    • Most of their free time is spent editing, but sometimes they revert. Ask Codeine if you don't believe me.
  • Why do admins act the way they do?
    • It's the power, oh my god the power! Fingertips touching the keyboard of the overlords, wanton destruction at a whim. You just don't understand, you couldn't possibly begin to comprehend it.

Related Links

External links


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